SAT Writing : Improving Paragraphs

Study concepts, example questions & explanations for SAT Writing

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Example Questions

Example Question #5 : Combining Sentences

1 Although vegetarianism is sometimes considered a recent phenomenon, the practice actually has roots in both ancient India and ancient Greece. 2 In Greece, being vegetarian was a way to abstain from eating ‘beings with souls,’ and vegetarianism was primarily practiced by small religious sects or certain philosophical thinkers. 3 Ancient Indian vegetarianism may have been more widespread, as it was mandatory for many Hindus, Jains, and Buddhists. 4 Buddhist scholars argue whether Gautama Buddha ever ate meat. 5 Obviously, vegetarianism is a constantly evolution practice that has changed considerably over the past several thousand years.

6 During the Middle Ages, vegetarianism remained largely outside the cultural milieu in Europe. 7 Certain aseptic religious sects may have avoided eating meat, but the practice didn’t truly gain ground in Western Europe until the Age of Enlightenment. 8 During and before that time, many people still argued that animals existed only for the benefit of humankind. 9 They were opposed by other people who thought that that was an anthropocentric viewpoint.

10 Over time, vegetarianism gradually gained diction with influential thinkers and by the twentieth century, organizations such as the International Vegetarian Union, the North American Vegetarian Society, and the Animal Aid were appearing. 11 What new form will vegetarianism take in the future?

What is the best way to combine Sentences 8 and 9?

Possible Answers:

During and before that time, many believed animals exist only for humankind’s benefit, however, they were being opposed by other people who thought that that was an anthropocentrism.

During and before that time, many people were still arguing that animals exist only for humankind’s benefit; however, they were being opposed by other people who thought that that was an anthropocentrism.

During and before that time, many people, who still argued that animals existed only for the benefit of humankind, were opposed by the anthropocentric viewpoint.

“During and before that time, many people still argued that animals existed only for the benefit of humankind, although some opposed that anthropocentric viewpoint.”

During and before that time, many people still argued that animals existed only for the benefit of humankind, being opposed by an anthropocentric viewpoint.

Correct answer:

“During and before that time, many people still argued that animals existed only for the benefit of humankind, although some opposed that anthropocentric viewpoint.”

Explanation:

The ideal new sentence would combine the two original sentences while preserving the author’s meaning and using correct conjunctions and punctuation. A correct sentence would also remove the ambiguity caused by the use of “that” in Sentence 9 and improve concision. The only sentence that accomplishes all these things is “During and before that time, many people still argued that animals existed only for the benefit of humankind, although some opposed that anthropocentric viewpoint.”

Example Question #1 : Separating, Combining, Or Moving Sentences

1 French high-wire artist Philippe Petit has a long history of daredevil and breathtaking performances. 2 Although none are so well known as his 1974 tightrope walk between the Twin Towers in New York City. 3 Petit made more than two hundred trips to the Twin Towers in surrogate preparation for the eminent walk. 4 Supposedly, he spent more than six years practicing on a low wire at a property in upstate New York and laying his plans. 5 He first read an article about the Twin Towers in his dentist’s office while they were still being built.

6 On August 7, 1974 Philippe Petit made the walk. 7 With the help of his tepid friends, he snuck into the buildings, strung a cable more than a quarter mile above the ground, and began the walk. 8 The buildings were still under construction. 9 The performance lasted for more than half an hour and included Petit walking, running, and even lying down on the rope. 10 Whereas Petit was arrested when he returned to the ground, the judge only sentenced him to perform for city children in Central Park. 11 After the Twin Tower walk, Petit continues to give lectures, write books, and perform everywhere from the Eiffel Tower to Niagara Falls.

What is the best way to combine Sentences 1 and 2?

Possible Answers:

French high-wire artist Philippe Petit has a long history of daredevil stunts and breathtaking performances; none being so well known as his 1974 tightrope walk between the Twin Towers in New York City.

French high-wire artist Philippe Petit has a long history of daredevil stunts and breathtaking performances, while being so well known as his 1974 tightrope walk between the Twin Towers in New York City.

French high-wire artist Philippe Petit has a long history of daredevil stunts and breathtaking performances, although no one knows them so well as his 1974 tightrope walk between the Twin Towers in New York City.

French high-wire artist Philippe Petit has a long history of daredevil stunts and breathtaking performances, however none are so well known as his 1974 tightrope walk between the Twin Towers in New York City.

French high-wire artist Philippe Petit has a long history of daredevil stunts and breathtaking performances, but none are so well known as his 1974 tightrope walk between the Twin Towers in New York City.

Correct answer:

French high-wire artist Philippe Petit has a long history of daredevil stunts and breathtaking performances, but none are so well known as his 1974 tightrope walk between the Twin Towers in New York City.

Explanation:

The only choice that preserves the original meaning of the two sentences and uses correct conjunctions and punctuation is “French high-wire artist Philippe Petit has a long history of daredevil stunts and breathtaking performances, but none are so well known as his 1974 tightrope walk between the Twin Towers in New York City.” "Although" is used to imply that something happened in spite of something else, whereas "but" is used to join two opposing ideas together, hence it is classified as a coordinating conjunction.

Example Question #7 : Combining Sentences

1 French high-wire artist Philippe Petit has a long history of daredevil and breathtaking performances. 2 Although none are so well known as his 1974 tightrope walk between the Twin Towers in New York City. 3 Petit made more than two hundred trips to the Twin Towers in surrogate preparation for the eminent walk. 4 Supposedly, he spent more than six years practicing on a low wire at a property in upstate New York and laying his plans. 5 He first read an article about the Twin Towers in his dentist’s office while they were still being built.

6 On August 7, 1974 Philippe Petit made the walk. 7 With the help of his tepid friends, he snuck into the buildings, strung a cable more than a quarter mile above the ground, and began the walk. 8 The buildings were still under construction. 9 The performance lasted for more than half an hour and included Petit walking, running, and even lying down on the rope. 10 Whereas Petit was arrested when he returned to the ground, the judge only sentenced him to perform for city children in Central Park. 11 After the Twin Tower walk, Petit continues to give lectures, write books, and perform everywhere from the Eiffel Tower to Niagara Falls.

What is the best way to combine Sentences 7 and 8?

Possible Answers:

With the help of his tepid friends, he snuck into the buildings, which were still under construction strung a cable more than a quarter mile above the ground, and began the walk.

With the help of his tepid friends, he snuck into the buildings, being still under construction, strung a cable more than a quarter mile above the ground, and began the walk.

With the help of his tepid friends, he snuck into the buildings (which were still under construction), strung a wire more than a quarter mile above the ground, and began the walk.

With the help of his tepid friends, knowing the buildings were still under construction, he snuck into the buildings, strung a cable more than a quarter mile above the ground, and began the walk.

With the help of his tepid friends, he snuck into the buildings, strung a cable more than a quarter mile above the ground, and began the walk, although the buildings were still under construction.

Correct answer:

With the help of his tepid friends, he snuck into the buildings (which were still under construction), strung a wire more than a quarter mile above the ground, and began the walk.

Explanation:

We’re looking for an option that notes that the buildings were still under construction in the same part of the sentence where the buildings are initially mentioned. Adding parentheses keeps the fact that the buildings were still under construction separate from the list part of the sentence. The clearest, most concise option is “With the help of his tepid friends, he snuck into the buildings (which were still under construction), strung a wire more than a quarter mile above the ground, and began the walk.”

Example Question #8 : Combining Sentences

1 Although many people have heard of the seven wonders of the world, most don’t know who made the original list. 2 Both Herodotus, an ancient Greek historian, and Callimachus, a scholar at the famous Library of Alexandria, composed early lists of the seven wonders. 3 Although, an extract copy of these lists has not survived.

4 Still, historians know that the original seven wonders were. 5 They included Colossus of Rhodes, the Great Pyramid of Giza, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, the Lighthouse of Alexandria, the Mausoleum at Halicarnassus, the Statue of Zeus at Olympia, and the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus. 6 Only the Great Pyramid still exists today. 7 Ruins or evidence of five of the other wonders have been found, but the Hanging Gardens have never been located by archaeologists.

8 What do these seven wonders have in common? 9 Since ancient times, scholars have made their own lists of seven wonders of the world. 10 Some of these wonders include Stonehenge, the Great Wall of China, the Hagia Sophia, Macchu Pichu, and the Golden Gate Bridge. 

What is the best way to combine Sentences 4 and 5?

Possible Answers:

Still, historians know what the original seven wonders were, including Colossus of Rhodes, the Great Pyramid of Giza, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, the Lighthouse of Alexandria, the Mausoleum at Halicarnassus, the Statue of Zeus at Olympia, and the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus.

Still, historians know that the original seven wonders were; they included Colossus of Rhodes, the Great Pyramid of Giza, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, the Lighthouse of Alexandria, the Mausoleum at Halicarnassus, the Statue of Zeus at Olympia, and the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus.

Still, historians know whether the original seven wonders were: Colossus of Rhodes, the Great Pyramid of Giza, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, the Lighthouse of Alexandria, the Mausoleum at Halicarnassus, the Statue of Zeus at Olympia, and the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus.

Still, historians know that the original seven wonders were Colossus of Rhodes, the Great Pyramid of Giza, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, the Lighthouse of Alexandria, the Mausoleum at Halicarnassus, the Statue of Zeus at Olympia, and the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus.

Still, historians know what the original seven wonders included: Colossus of Rhodes, the Great Pyramid of Giza, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, the Lighthouse of Alexandria, the Mausoleum at Halicarnassus, the Statue of Zeus at Olympia, and the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus.

Correct answer:

Still, historians know that the original seven wonders were Colossus of Rhodes, the Great Pyramid of Giza, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, the Lighthouse of Alexandria, the Mausoleum at Halicarnassus, the Statue of Zeus at Olympia, and the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus.

Explanation:

The only sentence that is both concise and grammatically correct is “Still, historians know that the original seven wonders were Colossus of Rhodes, the Great Pyramid of Giza, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, the Lighthouse of Alexandria, the Mausoleum at Halicarnassus, the Statue of Zeus at Olympia, and the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus.” Using a colon is a fine way to introduce a list, but only if the part of the sentence preceding the list is a complete independent clause.

Example Question #9 : Combining Sentences

1 Although many people have heard of the seven wonders of the world, most don’t know who made the original list. 2 Both Herodotus, an ancient Greek historian, and Callimachus, a scholar at the famous Library of Alexandria, composed early lists of the seven wonders. 3 Although, an extract copy of these lists has not survived.

4 Still, historians know that the original seven wonders were. 5 They included Colossus of Rhodes, the Great Pyramid of Giza, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, the Lighthouse of Alexandria, the Mausoleum at Halicarnassus, the Statue of Zeus at Olympia, and the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus. 6 Only the Great Pyramid still exists today. 7 Ruins or evidence of five of the other wonders have been found, but the Hanging Gardens have never been located by archaeologists.

8 What do these seven wonders have in common? 9 Since ancient times, scholars have made their own lists of seven wonders of the world. 10 Some of these wonders include Stonehenge, the Great Wall of China, the Hagia Sophia, Macchu Pichu, and the Golden Gate Bridge. 

How should Sentences 9 and 10 be combined?

Possible Answers:

Since ancient times, scholars are suggesting wonders of the world including: Stonehenge, the Great Wall of China, the Hagia Sophia, Macchu Pichu, and the Golden Gate Bridge.

Since ancient times, scholars have suggested wonders of the world including: Stonehenge, the Great Wall of China, the Hagia Sophia, Macchu Pichu, and the Golden Gate Bridge.

Since ancient times, scholars have made their own lists of seven wonders of the world, these are including Stonehenge, the Great Wall of China, the Hagia Sophia, Macchu Pichu, and the Golden Gate Bridge.

Since ancient times, scholars have suggested wonders of the world including Stonehenge, the Great Wall of China, the Hagia Sophia, Macchu Pichu, and the Golden Gate Bridge.

Since ancient times, scholars have made their own lists of seven wonders of the world, these include Stonehenge, the Great Wall of China, the Hagia Sophia, Macchu Pichu, and the Golden Gate Bridge.

Correct answer:

Since ancient times, scholars have suggested wonders of the world including Stonehenge, the Great Wall of China, the Hagia Sophia, Macchu Pichu, and the Golden Gate Bridge.

Explanation:

All of these sentences contain comma splices or colon errors except for “Since ancient times, scholars have suggested wonders of the world including Stonehenge, the Great Wall of China, the Hagia Sophia, Macchu Pichu, and the Golden Gate Bridge.”

Example Question #1 : Combining Sentences

1 The history of mathematics is a long and storied one. 2 Filled with many characters and enigmas. 3 Ancient Babylonian and Egyptian texts reveal some of the earliest mathematical concepts, most involving counting and record keeping. 4 At it’s heart, mathematics represents inquiries about the nature of number and magnitude as well as form and function, some people liken the subject to quantitative philosophy.

5 Modern day mathematics involves signified amounts of creativity. 6 Mathematicians must be not only well versed in old formulas and also they must be able to think daftly and imaginatively. 7 While some scholars see mathematics solely as a useful tool to aid scientific discoveries (in physics and chemistry), most recognize mathematics’ immanent importance and beauty. 8 Some of modern-day math’s areas of investigation are game theory, chaos theory, and economics.

What is the best way to combine Sentences 1 and 2?

Possible Answers:

The history of mathematics: a long, storied, and filled with many characters and enigmas.

The history of mathematics is a long and storied one, filled with many characters and enigmas.

The history of mathematics: a long and storied one, filled with many characters and enigmas.

The history of mathematics is a long and storied one; filled with many characters and enigmas

The history of mathematics is long, storied, and filled with many characters and enigmas.

Correct answer:

The history of mathematics is long, storied, and filled with many characters and enigmas.

Explanation:

The most concise combination would be “The history of mathematics is long, storied, and filled with many characters and enigmas.” (While the following sentence is correct, it is overly wordy compared to the best answer choice: “The history of mathematics is a long and storied one, filled with many characters and enigmas.”) All the other choices are grammatically incorrect.

Example Question #121 : Improving Paragraphs

(1) During the 1960s, many directors from Czechoslovakia contributed to a film movement called "Czechoslovak New Wave." (2) This period is often considered to be the golden age of Czechoslovak cinema. (3) These films often used improvised dialogue rather than a script and featured many non-professional actors. (4) The directors from this period wished to capture the authentic experience of living in Czechoslovakia at the time. (5) However, a series of new censorship laws introduced by the Communist Party in 1968 halted the movement and motivated several of the key directors to flee to America.

Which of the following is the best option for combining Sentences 1 and 2?

Possible Answers:

During the 1960s, many directors from Czechoslovakia contributed to a film movement called "Czechoslovak New Wave," this period is often considered to be the golden age of Czechoslovak cinema.

During the 1960s, many directors from Czechoslovakia, often considered to be the golden age of Czechoslovak cinema, contributed to a film movement called "Czechoslovak New Wave."

During the 1960s, a period often considered to be the golden age of Czechoslovak cinema, many directors from Czechoslovakia contributed to a film movement called "Czechoslovak New Wave."

During the 1960s, many directors from Czechoslovakia contributed to a film movement called "Czechoslovak New Wave," although this period is often considered to be the golden age of Czechoslovak cinema.

During the 1960s, many directors from Czechoslovakia contributed to a film movement called "Czechoslovak New Wave" because this period is often considered to be the golden age of Czechoslovak cinema.

Correct answer:

During the 1960s, a period often considered to be the golden age of Czechoslovak cinema, many directors from Czechoslovakia contributed to a film movement called "Czechoslovak New Wave."

Explanation:

This phrasing most clearly indicates that the 1960s are the period considered to be the golden age of Czechoslovak cinema. In the version that adds "because," it appears that the movement came about because the period was the golden age, when in actuality the reverse is true. The version that adds "although" would make sense if the phrases contradicted each other, but one clearly relates to the other. The version that only adds a comma is a run-on sentence. In the version that moves the phrase after "Czechoslovakia," it remains unclear to what period the phrase refers.

Example Question #122 : Improving Paragraphs

1 Tattoos have even been found on ancient Icelandic, Egyptian, and South American mummies.2 On their various voyages to the South Pacific, Captain Cook and other European explorers brought back accounts of colorfully inked natives, and their sailors soon began to adopt the practice. 3 Early medieval Northern European tribes such as the Picts and Visigoths were often heavily tattooed; particularly the warriors. 4 Over the centuries, various cultures have described various meanings to tattoos, with indelible ink signifying everything from royalty to gang membership to magical powers.

5 Interestingly modern-day tattooing’s popularity evolved out of its adoption by wealthy British nobility, and by American celebrities, musicians, and actors. 6 While tattoos do have a dark past, most notably at Auschwitz, where Nazi’s identified prisoners by tattooing numbers on their arms. 7 Tattoos can be signs of joy, belief, or even healing, such as the colorful tattoos that breast cancer survivors use to cover mastectomy scars.

8 Today, there are more options than ever before, tattoo artists often have fine arts training, lengthy apprenticeships, and can offer specialty inks that glow in the dark or are easier to remove. 9 The internet is full of design ideas, tattoo parlor rankings, and even horror stories about bad tattoo experiences. 10 Now more than ever, information about ink abounds. 11 Choose wisely!

What is the best way to combine Sentences 6 and 7?

Possible Answers:

While tattoos do have a dark past; most notably at Auschwitz, where Nazis identified prisoners by tattooing numbers on their arms; tattoos can also be signs of joy, belief, or even healing, such as the colorful tattoos that breast cancer survivors use to cover mastectomy scars.

While tattoos do have a dark past, most notably at Auschwitz, where Nazis identified prisoners by tattooing numbers on their arms; tattoos can be signs of joy, belief, or even healing, such as the colorful tattoos that breast cancer survivors use to cover mastectomy scars.

While tattoos do have a dark past, most notably at Auschwitz, where Nazis identified prisoners by tattooing numbers on their arms; whereas tattoos can be signs of joy, belief, or even healing, such as the colorful tattoos that breast cancer survivors use to cover mastectomy scars.

While tattoos do have a dark past, most notably at Auschwitz, where Nazis identified prisoners by tattooing numbers on their arms, tattoos can be signs of joy, belief, or even healing, such as the colorful tattoos that breast cancer survivors use to cover mastectomy scars.

While tattoos do have a dark past (most notably at Auschwitz, where Nazis identified prisoners by tattooing numbers on their arms), tattoos can also be signs of joy, belief, or even healing, such as the colorful tattoos that breast cancer survivors use to cover mastectomy scars.

Correct answer:

While tattoos do have a dark past (most notably at Auschwitz, where Nazis identified prisoners by tattooing numbers on their arms), tattoos can also be signs of joy, belief, or even healing, such as the colorful tattoos that breast cancer survivors use to cover mastectomy scars.

Explanation:

Because Sentence 6 begins with “While” and is a dependent clause, we need a correlating independent clause to end the sentence. Combining the two sentences with a comma and using parentheses creates a clear, grammatically correct sentence. 

Example Question #123 : Improving Paragraphs

1 Although agritourism is a fairly recent phenomenon in the Western world; it is proving popular in many countries. 2 Agritourism is broadly defined as any activity or attraction that draws visitors to a farm, and it can include anything from corn mazes and apple picking to vineyard tours, workshops on animal husbandry, and work-stay exchange programs. 3 The practice is particularly prevocalic in North America, Europe, and Australia. 4 With a huge variety of farms and activities available to agritourists. 5 For example: visitors can learn how to run a cattle drive in Wyoming, make cheese in France, harvest olives in Sicily, or pick kiwi fruit in New Zealand.

6 Income generated from agritourism can help small family farms remain soluble as well as educate the public about where their food comes from. 7 Henceforth, most people agree that agritourism is benevolent for everyone involved. 8 While there are some who argue that it is a cheap ploy designed to make selfish tourists feel better about their vacations. 9 All in all, it will be interesting to see how agritourism continues to develop in the future. 

How should Sentences 3 and 4 be combined?

Possible Answers:

The practice is particularly prevocalic in North America, Europe, and Australia. With a huge variety of farms and activities available to agritourists. (no combination)

The practice is particularly prevocalic in North America, Europe, and Australia; with a huge variety of farms and activities available to agritourists.

The practice is particularly prevocalic in North America, Europe, and Australia, with a huge variety being among the types of farms and the activities available to agritourists.

The practice is particularly prevocalic in North America, Europe, and Australia, and a huge variety of farms and activities available to agritourists.

The practice is particularly prevocalic in North America, Europe, and Australia, and there is a huge variety of farms and activities available to agritourists.

Correct answer:

The practice is particularly prevocalic in North America, Europe, and Australia, and there is a huge variety of farms and activities available to agritourists.

Explanation:

There is only one grammatically correct option that combines the first sentence, an independent clause, with the second sentence, a dependent clause, and that is by making the second sentence an independent clause and then linking the two with a conjunction word and a comma.

Example Question #124 : Improving Paragraphs

1 Some of the best-known badlands occur in North America; Badlands National Park in South Dakota, Theodore Roosevelt National Park in North Dakota, Dinosaur National Monument in Colorado and Utah, and the Big Muddy Badlands in Saskatchewan. 2 Have you ever been to the badlands? 3 Despite their name, badlands are often fascinating topographical regions. 4 With beautiful vistas as well. 5 Elsewhere badlands can be found in Italy, New Zealand, Spain, and Argentina.6 Badlands are distinguished by their stark, dry terrain, their sharply eroded landscapes, their lack of vegetation, and their colorful, clay-rich rocks. 7 They often include geological features such as canyons, gullies, mesas, buttes, and hoodoos. 8 Nevertheless, visiting badlands can be an uncommon but rewarding experience.

What is the best way to combine Sentences 3 and 4?

Possible Answers:

Despite their name, badlands are often fascinating topographical regions. With beautiful vistas as well. (no combination)

Despite their name, badlands are often fascinating topographical regions, which are including beautiful vistas as well.

Despite their name, badlands are often fascinating topographical regions with beautiful vistas.

Despite their name, badlands are often fascinating topographical regions, that including beautiful vistas as well.

Despite their name, badlands are often fascinating topographical regions, as well having beautiful vistas.

Correct answer:

Despite their name, badlands are often fascinating topographical regions with beautiful vistas.

Explanation:

The most concise and grammatically correct option is this: “Despite their name, badlands are often fascinating topographical regions with beautiful vistas.”

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