SAT Writing : Improving Paragraphs
Study concepts, example questions & explanations for SAT Writing
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Example Questions
Example Question #15 : Separating, Combining, Or Moving Sentences
1 Deaccession or deaccessioning is defined as the intentional disposing or selling of books from library’s collections. 2 And is often undertaken to make room for newer volumes, to shift the focus of the library’s collection, or to reflect changing trends in literature. 3 Many people disagree vehicularly about which books should be deaccessioned, when and how books should be disposed of, and even whether books should be deaccessioned at all. 4 Book deaccession: It sounds boring, but is in fact one of the more controversial and problematic aspects of running a library. 5 Though others argue that it allows libraries to remain current and relevant to the public’s reading needs. 6 No doubt it is a topic that will continue to provoke debate for years to come.
How should Sentences 1 and 2 be combined?
Deaccession or deaccessioning, is often undertaken to make room for newer volumes, to shift the focus of the library’s collection, or to reflect changing trends in literature; and is defined as the intentional disposing or selling of books from library’s collections.
Deaccession or deaccessioning is defined as the intentional disposing or selling of books from library’s collections; and is often undertaken to make room for newer volumes, to shift the focus of the library’s collection, or to reflect changing trends in literature.
Deaccession or deaccessioning is defined as the intentional disposing or selling of books from library’s collections. And is often undertaken to make room for newer volumes, to shift the focus of the library’s collection, or to reflect changing trends in literature. (no combination)
Deaccession or deaccessioning is defined as the intentional disposing or selling of books from library’s collections, which is often undertaken to make room for newer volumes, to shift the focus of the library’s collection, or to reflect changing trends in literature.
Deaccession or deaccessioning is defined as the intentional disposing or selling of books from library’s collections, and it is often undertaken to make room for newer volumes, to shift the focus of the library’s collection, or to reflect changing trends in literature.
Deaccession or deaccessioning is defined as the intentional disposing or selling of books from library’s collections, and it is often undertaken to make room for newer volumes, to shift the focus of the library’s collection, or to reflect changing trends in literature.
Because Sentence 2 is a fragment, it must be added to Sentence 1 in a concise, coherent way. Changing Sentence 2 to an independent clause by adding a subject (“it”) and using a comma and conjunction to link it to sentence 1 is the best approach.
Example Question #331 : Sat Writing
1 All in all, aviation will likely continue to fascinate people for centuries to come. 2 Long before the famous Wright brothers humans were attempting to fly. 3 The ancient Greek myth of Icarus and Daedalus shows the tantalizing allusion of flight. 4 With large kites’ in China may have been the first successful instance of human flight several thousand years ago. 5 Hundreds of years later and despite many hazings; the Montgolfier brothers and other pioneering aviators began experimenting with manned hot-air balloon flights. 6 Therefore, technology has advanced to the point of supersonic and hypersonic flight, but people are still trying to break new barriers and invent new methods of flight.
How should Sentences 3 and 4 be combined?
The ancient Greek myth of Icarus and Daedalus shows the tantalizing allusion of flight; with large kites in China may have being the first successful instance of human flight several thousand years ago.
The ancient Greek myth of Icarus and Daedalus shows the tantalizing allusion of flight. With large kites in China may have been the first successful instance of human flight several thousand years ago. (no change)
The ancient Greek myth of Icarus and Daedalus shows the tantalizing allusion of flight, with large kites in China possibly being the first successful instance of human flight several thousand years ago.
The ancient Greek myth of Icarus and Daedalus shows the tantalizing allusion of flight, with large kites in China may have been the first successful instance of human flight several thousand years ago.
The ancient Greek myth of Icarus and Daedalus shows the tantalizing allusion of flight; large kites in China may have being the first successful instance of human flight several thousand years ago.
The ancient Greek myth of Icarus and Daedalus shows the tantalizing allusion of flight, with large kites in China possibly being the first successful instance of human flight several thousand years ago.
Sentence 4 is grammatically incorrect (a mixed construction), so it has to be rewritten slightly before we can combine it with Sentence 3. The only option that is punctuated correctly and contains no verb errors is “The ancient Greek myth of Icarus and Daedalus shows the tantalizing allusion of flight, with large kites in China possibly being the first successful instance of human flight several thousand years ago.”
Example Question #11 : Analyzing, Combining, And Moving Content
1 Many painters have strong sediments about whether oil or acrylic paints produce the best results. 2 On the one hand, oil paints take longer to dry and are therefore more conductive to slow painstaking work and careful blending. 3 While, they also require the use of more toxic chemicals such as turpentine and mineral spirits. 4 Professional artists are often meritorious about the materials they use. 5 Acrylic paints are now favored by more and more artists, not only because they are odorless and nontoxic and also because their colors are not effervescent, they don’t fade when exposed to light. 6 However, many of the worlds’ great masterpieces were created with oil paints. 7 With some artists understandably feel nasturtium when they see oils being replaced by cheaper, more popular acrylics.
How should Sentences 6 and 7 be combined?
However, many of the worlds’ great masterpieces were created with oil paints; with some artists understandably feel nasturtium when they see oils being replaced by cheaper, more popular acrylics.
However, many of the worlds’ great masterpieces were created with oil paints; while some artists understandably feeling nasturtium when they see oils being replaced by cheaper, more popular acrylics.
However, many of the worlds’ great masterpieces were created with oil paints. With some artists understandably feel nasturtium when they see oils being replaced by cheaper, more popular acrylics. (no change)
However, many of the worlds’ great masterpieces were created with oil paints, with some artists understandably have felt nasturtium when they see oils being replaced by cheaper, more popular acrylics.
However, many of the worlds’ great masterpieces were created with oil paints, and some artists understandably feel nasturtium when they see oils being replaced by cheaper, more popular acrylics.
However, many of the worlds’ great masterpieces were created with oil paints, and some artists understandably feel nasturtium when they see oils being replaced by cheaper, more popular acrylics.
Sentence 7 is a mixed construction, so we need to reword it slightly. A comma and conjunction correctly separate two independent clauses in the same sentence.
Example Question #331 : Sat Writing
1 Glass; a material most people take for granted, is an essential constitute of modern life. 2 Most glass throughout history have been made of silicon dioxide; which is found in sand. 3 Typically glass is made by melting down and refining raw materials in processes that remove bubbles, improve strength, and augur durability. 4 This process can be tailored to create the desired end product, be that stained glass windows for a church and glass fibers for thermal insulation. 5 Because glass blowing can be used to create fanciful shapes and delicate figurines, most glass today is made more quickly and cheaply in factories. 6 These factories can produce everything. 7 From windshields and sterile medical equipment.
How should Sentence 6 and Sentence 7 be combined?
These factories can produce everything: from windshields and sterile medical equipment.
These factories can produce everything; from windshields and sterile medical equipment.
These factories can produce everything, from windshields and sterile medical equipment.
These factories can produce everything from windshields and sterile medical equipment.
These factories can produce everything. From windshields and sterile medical equipment. (no change)
These factories can produce everything from windshields and sterile medical equipment.
In Sentences 6 and 7, we have two parts of an independent clause being separated incorrectly by a period. The correct form is no punctuation, since all the words belong to the same single clause.
Example Question #331 : Sat Writing
1 It may be hard to believe. 2 But light was once a rare and inviolate commodity. 3 Our ancestors invented willful ways to harness natural light; burning lumps of tallow or animal fat, capturing fireflies in glass jars, and even threading wicks down the throats of a bird called the storm petrel.4 Most of these methods were messy, inconvenient, and costly. 5 So it was fortunate when kerosene became popular. 6 Whale oil was another way to get light, but whaling was a dangerous and deadly occupation. 7 The innovation of the electric light bulb represented another huge leap in convenience and cost-effectiveness. 8 While light is not scarce today; in fact, we often have the opposite problem. 9 Light pollution, or excessive artificial light, which can keep city denizens from ever seeing the stars or appreciating true darkness.
How should Sentences 1 and 2 be combined?
It may be hard to believe, light was once a rare and inviolate commodity.
It may be hard to believe, but light was once a rare and inviolate commodity.
It may be hard to believe; but light was once a rare and inviolate commodity.
It may be hard to believe, although light was once a rare and inviolate commodity.
It may be hard to believe. But light was once a rare and inviolate commodity. (no change)
It may be hard to believe, but light was once a rare and inviolate commodity.
Sentence 1 is an independent clause, and Sentence 2 is an independent clause preceded with a conjunction. Since it’s best not to begin a sentence with a conjunction, we don’t want to leave these two sentences uncombined. Following the rules of standard grammar, we would add a comma before the conjunction when combining these two sentences.
Example Question #341 : Sat Writing
1 It may be hard to believe. 2 But light was once a rare and inviolate commodity. 3 Our ancestors invented willful ways to harness natural light; burning lumps of tallow or animal fat, capturing fireflies in glass jars, and even threading wicks down the throats of a bird called the storm petrel.4 Most of these methods were messy, inconvenient, and costly. 5 So it was fortunate when kerosene became popular. 6 Whale oil was another way to get light, but whaling was a dangerous and deadly occupation. 7 The innovation of the electric light bulb represented another huge leap in convenience and cost-effectiveness. 8 While light is not scarce today; in fact, we often have the opposite problem. 9 Light pollution, or excessive artificial light, which can keep city denizens from ever seeing the stars or appreciating true darkness.
How should Sentences 8 and 9 be combined?
While light is not scarce today; in fact, we often have the opposite problem; light pollution, or excessive artificial light, which can keep city denizens from ever seeing the stars or appreciating true darkness.
While light is not scarce today; in fact, we often have the opposite problem, light pollution, or excessive artificial light, which can keep city denizens from ever seeing the stars or appreciating true darkness.
While light is not scarce today; in fact, we often have the opposite problem light pollution, or excessive artificial light, which can keep city denizens from ever seeing the stars or appreciating true darkness.
While light is not scarce today; in fact, we often have the opposite problem: light pollution, or excessive artificial light, which can keep city denizens from ever seeing the stars or appreciating true darkness.
While light is not scarce today; in fact, we often have the opposite problem. Light pollution, or excessive artificial light, which can keep city denizens from ever seeing the stars or appreciating true darkness. (no change)
While light is not scarce today; in fact, we often have the opposite problem: light pollution, or excessive artificial light, which can keep city denizens from ever seeing the stars or appreciating true darkness.
Although it’s a bit clunky, the best option is to add a colon after “problem.” Although Sentence 9 is not a list, colons can occasionally be used after independent clauses to introduce specific topics that are not in lists, usually when the second independent clause clarifies, defines, or explains the first independent clause.
Example Question #21 : Separating, Combining, Or Moving Sentences
1 “Waltzing Matilda” is the title of an Australian song. 2 This song is often called Australia’s unofficial national anthem. 3 Although unscrupulous to a foreigner, the song’s seemingly nonsensical lyrics are actually slang that describes a migrant worker’s travels. 4 The song even has it’s own museum in Queensland. 5 Can you believe that? 6 It was written in 1895 by the Australian author Banjo Paterson and has more recordings than any other Australian song, including the national anthem; “Advance Australia Fair.”
How should Sentences 1 and 2 be combined?
“Waltzing Matilda” is the title of an Australian song, which is often called Australia’s unofficial national anthem.
“Waltzing Matilda” is the title of an Australian song, and this song is often called Australia’s unofficial national anthem.
They should not be combined.
“Waltzing Matilda” is the title of an Australian song; this song is often called Australia’s unofficial national anthem.
“Waltzing Matilda,” the title of an Australian song, is often called Australia’s unofficial national anthem.
“Waltzing Matilda,” the title of an Australian song, is often called Australia’s unofficial national anthem.
Sentences 1 and 2 are redundant as they are, so they must be condensed.
Example Question #132 : Improving Paragraphs
1 Today, different methods are adopted to strive off these threats to biological diversity. 2 By now, the occurrence of invasive species is a common place problem. 3 It occurs when a non native species of plant or animal is introduced into a new environment. 4 Invasive species cause problems, such as kudzu, Asian carp, and zebra mussels. 5 Habitats can be destroyed and human economies can be damaged by the invidious effects of species that are inoculated or even charming pets in other ecosystems. 6 For example, rabbits in Australia. 7 They were introduced in the 1780s by British penal colony ships and became widespread after an 1859 outbreak, destroying millions of dollars worth of crops. 8 Pheromone traps can lure in insect pests and genetic modification can cause invasive carp to produce only male offspring, limiting their reproduction. 9 Given our widespread global commerce and travel, however, it may be impossible to foresight all damage done by species that end up somewhere they don’t belong.
How should Sentences 2 and 3 be combined?
By now, the occurrence of invasive species – a common place problem – occurs when a non native species of plant or animal is introduced into a new environment.
By now the occurrence of invasive species is a common place problem; happening when a non native species of plant or animal is introduced into a new environment.
By now, the occurrence of invasive species is a common place problem. It occurs when a non native species of plant or animal is introduced into a new environment. (no change)
By now, the occurrence of invasive species, which occurs when a non native species of plant or animal is introduced into a new environment, is a common place problem.
By now, invasive species (non native plants or animals introduced to a new environment) are a common place problem.
By now, invasive species (non native plants or animals introduced to a new environment) are a common place problem.
To avoid redundancy, we want to avoid using both “occurrence” and “occurs.” To make the sentences as concise as possible without grammatical errors, a fair amount of rewriting is called for.
Example Question #344 : Sat Writing
1 As anyone who has tried it can tell you, Filipino food is an exciting intriguing blend of flavors. 2 Due to interaction with various nations and cultures, it’s cuisine is marked by influences from Austronesia, Spain, China, Malaysia, and the United States. 3 Some typical dishes including pancit, longganisa, lumpia, kare-kare, pinakbet, sinigang, and adobo. 4 For example, one could find everything from Spanish paella and Chinese spring rolls (locally called lumpia) if you walked into a Filipino restaurant.
5 Another important compound of Filipino cuisine is street food. 6 These street foods include many fried foods, such as bananas, plantains, dumplings, squid balls, battered quail eggs, and fruit or vegetable spring rolls.7 Taho, a warm street food, is composed of bean curd, a caramel syrup or arnibal, and tapioca pearls.8 Don’t forget dessert! 9 With such a variety of flavors, textures, and cooking styles, there’s certainly to be something for every gourmand.
How should Sentences 5 and 6 be combined?
Another important compound of Filipino cuisine is street food, these street foods including many fried foods, such as bananas, plantains, dumplings, squid balls, battered quail eggs, and fruit or vegetable spring rolls.
Another important compound of Filipino cuisine, including many fried foods, such as bananas, plantains, dumplings, squid balls, battered quail eggs, and fruit or vegetable spring rolls, is street food.
Another important compound of Filipino cuisine is street food, including many fried items such as bananas, plantains, dumplings, squid balls, battered quail eggs, and fruit or vegetable spring rolls.
Another important compound of Filipino cuisine is street food. These street foods include many fried foods, such as bananas, plantains, dumplings, squid balls, battered quail eggs, and fruit or vegetable spring rolls. (no change)
Another important compound of Filipino cuisine is street food including many fried items, such as bananas, plantains, dumplings, squid balls, battered quail eggs, and fruit or vegetable spring rolls.
Another important compound of Filipino cuisine is street food, including many fried items such as bananas, plantains, dumplings, squid balls, battered quail eggs, and fruit or vegetable spring rolls.
To avoid redundancy, we want to avoid saying “street food” twice in a row. Substituting “item” for “food” and combining the two sentences is the most concise and grammatically correct approach.
Example Question #3 : Pronoun Usage
1 Today, different methods are adopted to strive off these threats to biological diversity. 2 By now, the occurrence of invasive species is a common place problem. 3 It occurs when a non native species of plant or animal is introduced into a new environment. 4 Invasive species cause problems, such as kudzu, Asian carp, and zebra mussels. 5 Habitats can be destroyed and human economies can be damaged by the invidious effects of species that are inoculated or even charming pets in other ecosystems. 6 For example, rabbits in Australia. 7 They were introduced in the 1780s by British penal colony ships and became widespread after an 1859 outbreak, destroying millions of dollars worth of crops. 8 Pheromone traps can lure in insect pests and genetic modification can cause invasive carp to produce only male offspring, limiting their reproduction. 9 Given our widespread global commerce and travel, however, it may be impossible to foresight all damage done by species that end up somewhere they don’t belong.
How should Sentences 6 and 7 be combined?
For example, rabbits in Australia were introduced in the 1780s by British penal colony ships and became widespread after an 1859 outbreak, destroying millions of dollars worth of crops.
For example, rabbits in Australia, they were introduced in the 1780s by British penal colony ships and became widespread after an 1859 outbreak, destroying millions of dollars worth of crops.
For example: rabbits in Australia, were introduced in the 1780s by British penal colony ships and became widespread after an 1859 outbreak, destroying millions of dollars worth of crops.
For example, rabbits in Australia. They were introduced in the 1780s by British penal colony ships and became widespread after an 1859 outbreak, destroying millions of dollars worth of crops. (no change)
For example, rabbits in Australia; they were introduced in the 1780s by British penal colony ships and became widespread after an 1859 outbreak, destroying millions of dollars worth of crops.
For example, rabbits in Australia were introduced in the 1780s by British penal colony ships and became widespread after an 1859 outbreak, destroying millions of dollars worth of crops.
Sentence 6 is a fragment, so it must be combined with Sentence 7. By simply deleting the period and the pronoun, we can create a standard subject-verb-object sentence.
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