SAT Writing : Improving Paragraphs
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Example Questions
Example Question #22 : Combining Sentences
1 While many people feel strongly about the genetic modification of foods. 2 Most do not understand the full nature of genetically modified (GM) plants and animals. 3 For example, did you even know that GM was the abbreviation for genetically modified? 4 Genetic modification is defined as the artificial manipulation of a specie’s DNA usually for the purpose of improving crop yield, resistance to disease, or nutritive value. 5 And did you know it has been going on for millennia, because ancient farmers were selectively breeding foods to provide better flavor, produce smaller seeds, or withstand drought and flooding?
6 Today, however, having more sophisticated tools allow scientists to transfer genes from one organism with another, this purposely provokes better pest resistance and other desirable characteristics. 7 Opponents of genetic modification argue that the DNA modifications are unstable, undesirable, and unhealthy for the environment. 8 Additionally, some are also arguing that consuming GM foods is unsafe for humans, despite much scientific evidence to the contrary.
How should Sentences 1 and 2 be combined?
While many people feel strongly about the genetic modification of foods; most do not understand the full nature of genetically modified (GM) plants and animals.
While many people feel strongly about the genetic modification of foods, most do not understand the full nature of genetically modified (GM) plants and animals.
Many people feel strongly about the genetic modification of foods: Most do not understand the full nature of genetically modified (GM) plants and animals.
While many people feel strongly about the genetic modification of foods. Most do not understand the full nature of genetically modified (GM) plants and animals. (no change)
While many people are feeling strongly about the genetic modification of foods, most of them not understanding the full nature of genetically modified (GM) plants and animals.
While many people feel strongly about the genetic modification of foods, most do not understand the full nature of genetically modified (GM) plants and animals.
Sentence 1 is a dependent clause, which makes it a sentence fragment. We can address this problem by simply tacking it onto the beginning of Sentence 2, an independent clause, and using a comma to separate the two.
Example Question #23 : Combining Sentences
1 While many people feel strongly about the genetic modification of foods. 2 Most do not understand the full nature of genetically modified (GM) plants and animals. 3 For example, did you even know that GM was the abbreviation for genetically modified? 4 Genetic modification is defined as the artificial manipulation of a specie’s DNA usually for the purpose of improving crop yield, resistance to disease, or nutritive value. 5 And did you know it has been going on for millennia, because ancient farmers were selectively breeding foods to provide better flavor, produce smaller seeds, or withstand drought and flooding?
6 Today, however, having more sophisticated tools allow scientists to transfer genes from one organism with another, this purposely provokes better pest resistance and other desirable characteristics. 7 Opponents of genetic modification argue that the DNA modifications are unstable, undesirable, and unhealthy for the environment. 8 Additionally, some are also arguing that consuming GM foods is unsafe for humans, despite much scientific evidence to the contrary.
How should Sentences 7 and 8 be combined?
Opponents of genetic modification argue that the DNA modifications are unstable, undesirable, and unhealthy for the environment. Additionally, some are also arguing that consuming GM foods is unsafe for humans, despite much scientific evidence to the contrary (no change)
Opponents of genetic modification argue that the DNA modifications are unstable, undesirable, and unhealthy for the environment, additionally arguing that consuming GM foods is unsafe for humans, despite much scientific evidence to the contrary.
Opponents of genetic modification argue that the DNA modifications are unstable, undesirable, and unhealthy for the environment; additionally some are also arguing that consuming GM foods is unsafe for humans, despite much scientific evidence to the contrary.
Opponents of genetic modification argue that the DNA modifications are unstable, undesirable, and unhealthy for the environment as well as unsafe for human consumption, despite much scientific evidence to the contrary.
Opponents of genetic modification argue additionally that the DNA modifications are unstable, undesirable, and unhealthy for the environment as well as unsafe for humans, despite much scientific evidence to the contrary.
Opponents of genetic modification argue that the DNA modifications are unstable, undesirable, and unhealthy for the environment as well as unsafe for human consumption, despite much scientific evidence to the contrary.
While each sentence is grammatically correct on its own, the two sentences do contain redundancies. They can be combined and shortened to address these redundancies.
Example Question #24 : Combining Sentences
1 The legend of Billy the Kid, one of the most famous outlaws of the Wild West. 2 Allied Henry McCarty and William H. Bonney, Billy the Kid was a gunfighter who was rumored to have killed nearly two dozen men in 19th century America. 3 Friendly and charming, his status was relatively unknown until a price was put on his head in 1881 by the governor of New Mexico, than a territory. 4 He lived in New York City, Indiana, Kansas, and Arizona at various points within his life. 5 Billy the Kid’s various crimes include: murder, horse thievery, stealing firearms, and escaping from jail. 6 Many of these various crimes were committed as part of his membership in Old West gangs. 7 He was finally, captured and killed by Sheriff Pat Garrett in New Mexico in 1881.
How should Sentences 5 and 6 be combined?
Billy the Kid’s various crimes, many of which were committed as part of his membership in Old West gangs, including: murder, horse thievery, stealing firearms, and escaping from jail.
Billy the Kid’s various crimes include: murder, horse thievery, stealing firearms, and escaping from jail. 6 Many of these various crimes were committed as part of his membership in Old West gangs. (no combination)
Billy the Kid’s various crimes include: murder, horse thievery, stealing firearms, and escaping from jail; many of these various crimes, were committed as part of his membership in Old West gangs.
Billy the Kid’s many various crimes including those committed as part of his membership in Old West gangs: murder, horse thievery, stealing firearms, and escaping from jail.
Billy the Kid’s various crimes, many of which were committed as part of his membership in Old West gangs, include: murder, horse thievery, stealing firearms, and escaping from jail.
Billy the Kid’s various crimes, many of which were committed as part of his membership in Old West gangs, include: murder, horse thievery, stealing firearms, and escaping from jail.
While grammatically correct on their own, Sentences 5 and 6 contain redundancies and can be combined for greater concision.
Example Question #25 : Combining Sentences
1 If you’re wearing clothes right now you’re likely wearing something a sewing machine has produced. 2 But what you may not know is the history of the sewing machine that made your clothes. 3 The device was invented in England during the Industrial Revolution in the late 18th-century. 4 Greatly increasing efficiency by mechanizing the process. 5 Early machines were often used for stitching leather and canvas for various purposes including, horse tack, sails, and shoes. 6 Gradually, other machines emerged that were superior in Europe and America. 7 Famous brands today; include those by 19th century inventor Isaac Singer. 8 As the 1800s progressed sewing machines became purchases for not just clothing manufacturers but individuals.
How should Sentences 4 and 5 be combined?
Greatly increasing efficiency by mechanizing the process; with early machines often being used for stitching leather and canvas for various purposes including, horse tack, sails, and shoes.
Greatly increasing efficiency by mechanizing the process. Early machines were often used for stitching leather and canvas for various purposes including, horse tack, sails, and shoes. (no change)
Early machines, greatly increasing efficiency by mechanizing the process, were often used for stitching leather and canvas for various purposes including, horse tack, sails, and shoes.
Greatly increasing efficiency by mechanizing the process, early machines were often used for stitching leather and canvas for various purposes including, horse tack, sails, and shoes.
Greatly increasing efficiency by mechanizing the process; and early machines were often used for stitching leather and canvas for various purposes including, horse tack, sails, and shoes.
Greatly increasing efficiency by mechanizing the process, early machines were often used for stitching leather and canvas for various purposes including, horse tack, sails, and shoes.
Since Sentence 4 is a dependent clause and Sentence 5 is an independent clause, the two can be combined simply by removing the period and replacing it with a comma.
Example Question #26 : Combining Sentences
1 The tornado, a dreaded meteorological phenomena and a verifiable force of nature. 2 But what is it really? 3 Also known as a twister or a cyclone, tornadoes are rapidly rotating funnels of air linked between a cloud and either the surface of the earth or water. 4 They are caused by the creation of strong thunderstorms by rotating columns of air, resultantly increased rainfall causes increased downward air movement. 5 Rather than the Richter scale measures the strength of hurricanes the Fujita scale measures the strength of a tornado. 6 This natural disasters’ destructive mite is commemorated in such classic films as the 1996, movie, Twister. 7 And the 2014 “Into the Storm” and even the 2013 sparse “Sharknado.” 8 The Fujita scale, also called the F-scale, was named after an employee at the University of Chicago and originally had 13 different levels. 9 The thirteenth level of the scale is used to describe only the most awe inspiring of tornadoes.
How should Sentences 6 and 7 be combined?
This natural disasters’ destructive mite is commemorated in such classic films as the 1996, movie, Twister as well as the 2014 “Into the Storm” and also even the 2013 sparse “Sharknado.”
This natural disasters’ destructive mite is commemorated in such classic films as the 1996, movie, Twister; and the 2014 “Into the Storm”; and, even, the 2013 sparse “Sharknado.”
This natural disasters’ destructive mite is commemorated in such classic films as the 1996, movie, Twister. And the 2014 “Into the Storm” and even the 2013 sparse “Sharknado.” (no change)
This natural disasters’ destructive mite is commemorated in such classic films as the 1996, movie, Twister, the 2014 movie “Into the Storm,” and even the 2013 sparse “Sharknado.”
This natural disasters’ destructive mite is commemorated in such classic films as the 1996, movie, Twister, the 2014 “Into the Storm,” and even the 2013 sparse “Sharknado.”
This natural disasters’ destructive mite is commemorated in such classic films as the 1996, movie, Twister, the 2014 movie “Into the Storm,” and even the 2013 sparse “Sharknado.”
The most efficient way to combine the sentences is to make the three movies into a parallel list.
Example Question #141 : Improving Paragraphs
1 Think about medieval Christianity. 2 What do you see? 3 Likely you’re imagining monks, gloomy Gothic cathedrals with flying buttresses, or witches burned at the stake. 4 But what you may not be cognitive of is: the concept of the anchorite. 5 This is the moniker for a religious recluse who elects to be walled up in a small room inside a church. 6 The anchorite was not left to die, however, they were fed through small windows and used the imprisonment to participate more fully in the spiritual life of the community. 7 It is a spiritual calling that is now very rare; few if any anchorites still exist in the world today.
How should Sentences 1 and 2 be combined?
Think about medieval Christianity, what do you see?
They should not be combined
Think about medieval Christianity – what do you see?
Think about medieval Christianity; what do you see?
Think about: medieval Christianity, what do you see?
They should not be combined
The sentences work best as individual sentences, since each one is complete and serves a distinct purpose on its own. No combination is necessary.
Example Question #31 : Combining Sentences
1 Most of you probably know essays to be boring, tendentious assignments required for English class. 2 However the essay has a fascinating history.3 Did you know that the first known example of an essay came in the 16th-century? 4 Its author was Michel de Montaigne the French philosopher. 5 Today the genre includes such disparate types as the dialectic, the narrative, the critical, the historical, the descriptive, and the lyric essay. 6 The genre progressed with essays such as Robert Burton’s The Anatomy of Melancholy, Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s On Poesy or Art, and Virginia Woolf’s A Room of Her Own.” 7 It remains to be, see how the essay will evolve in the future.
How should Sentences 3 and 4 be combined?
The first known example of an essay came from Michel de Montaigne, the 16th-century French philosopher.
Did you know that the first known example of an essay came in the 16th-century; its author was Michel de Montaigne the French philosopher?
Did you know that the first known example of an essay came in the 16th-century? Its author was Michel de Montaigne the French philosopher. (no change)
Michel de Montaigne the French philosopher, is who came up with the first known example of an essay in the 16th-century.
The first known example of an essay came in the 16th-century by Michel de Montaigne the French philosopher.
The first known example of an essay came from Michel de Montaigne, the 16th-century French philosopher.
While grammatically correct, these two sentences could be combined and reworded for maximum concision and effectiveness.
Example Question #32 : Combining Sentences
1 Generally, a person will tell you they prefer not to have their food burned. 2 Because caramel: a delicious sticky dessert, is actually made by slowly burning sugar. 3 A copper saucepan, a candy thermometer, and sugar and water are all you need to make this lascivious treat. 4 Although some chefs prefer to use their eyes and nose rather than a thermometer. 5 Desserts that will be made from caramel, including ice cream, pies, crème brûlée, candy apples, nougats, flan, and pralines. 6 However it may take many disastrous attempts and scorched pans while the amateur caramel maker achieves the golden, buttery perfection of this tasty dessert.
How should Sentences 4 and 5 be combined?
Although some chefs prefer to use their eyes and nose rather than a thermometer, a copper saucepan, a candy thermometer, and sugar and water are all you need to make this lascivious treat.
All you need to make this lascivious treat are, although some chefs prefer to use their eyes and nose rather than a thermometer, a copper saucepan, a candy thermometer, and sugar and water are.
A copper saucepan, a candy thermometer, and sugar and water (although some chefs prefer to use their eyes and nose rather than a thermometer) – are all you need to make this lascivious treat.
A copper saucepan, a candy thermometer (although some chefs prefer to use their eyes and nose), and sugar and water are all you need to make this lascivious treat.
A copper saucepan, a candy thermometer, and sugar and water are all you need to make this lascivious treat; although some chefs prefer to use their eyes and nose rather than a thermometer.
A copper saucepan, a candy thermometer (although some chefs prefer to use their eyes and nose), and sugar and water are all you need to make this lascivious treat.
While “Although some chefs prefer to use their eyes and nose rather than a thermometer, a copper saucepan, a candy thermometer, and sugar and water are all you need to make this lascivious treat” is are grammatically correct, “A copper saucepan, a candy thermometer (although some chefs prefer to use their eyes and nose), and sugar and water are all you need to make this lascivious treat” is a more concise and therefore superior option.
Example Question #33 : Combining Sentences
1 Whether or not you are superstitious. 2 Fortunetelling has played a major role in many cultures.3 Also known as divination. 4 Western fortunetelling arose from the Romani people and such as reading tea leaves’, gazing into crystal balls, tarot reading, palmistry, and observing the flights, innards, or eating patterns of birds. 5 In William Shakespeare’s famous play “Julius Caesar,” for example, a soothsayer warns the soon to be assassinated Caesar to beware the Ides of March. 6 Western fortunetelling has also been influenced by Eastern divination methods such as the I Ching and to read coffee beans. 7 Unfortunately several major religions prescribe fortunetelling with very degrees of severity. 8 Despite, fortunetelling still thrives in contemporary culture, psychics and Magic-8 balls are just two of many fun ways to attempt to see into the future.
How should Sentences 2 and 3 be combined?
Fortunetelling has played a major role in many cultures, also known as divination.
Also known as divination: fortunetelling has played a major role in many cultures.
Fortunetelling has played a major role in many cultures; also known as divination.
Also known as divination; fortunetelling has played a major role in many cultures.
Also known as divination, fortunetelling has played a major role in many cultures.
Also known as divination, fortunetelling has played a major role in many cultures.
“Also known as divination” is a dependent clause that modifies “fortunetelling,” the first word in an independent clause. A comma is the correct punctuation mark to separate these two rearranged clauses.
Example Question #34 : Combining Sentences
1 No one wants to live in the swamp. 2 But swamps are an incredibly important part of the Earth’s ecosystem. 3 They are defined as forested wetlands and can be found from Africa and Asia and in Europe and the Americas. 4 In fact: the only continent to not contained swamps is Antarctica. 5 Because swamps are rarely arid, meaning able to be farmed, and because it usually is not conducive to hunting, they are undervalued by human society. 6 In swamps, a portion of dry land that protects from the water is known as a “hammock.” 7 Moreover, swamps are actually integrity to our world, providing clean water and oxygen for people as well as breeding grounds for animals big and small.
How should Sentences 1 and 2 be combined?
No one wants to live in the swamp but swamps are an incredibly important part of the Earth’s ecosystem.
No one wants to live in the swamp, but swamps are an incredibly important part, of the Earth’s ecosystem.
No one wants to live in the swamp; but swamps are an incredibly important part of the Earth’s ecosystem.
No one wants to live in the swamp; but, swamps are an incredibly important part of the Earth’s ecosystem.
No one wants to live in one, but swamps are an incredibly important part of the Earth’s ecosystem.
No one wants to live in one, but swamps are an incredibly important part of the Earth’s ecosystem.
The most efficient and grammatically correct choice is one that replaces the first noun with a pronoun and remembers to combine two independent clauses with a comma and conjunction.
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