SAT Writing : Improving Paragraphs
Study concepts, example questions & explanations for SAT Writing
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Example Questions
Example Question #2 : Rewriting A Sentence Fragment
Adapted from "Common Sense" by Thomas Paine (1776)
These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is expense only that gives every thing its value. Heaven knows how to put a proper price upon its goods. And it would be strange indeed if so heavenly an article as freedom should not be highly rated. Britain, with an army to enforce her tyranny, has declared that she has a right (not only to tax) but "to bind us in all cases whatsoever," and if being bound in that manner, is not slavery, than is there not such a thing as slavery upon earth. Even the expression is sacrilegious; for so unlimited a power can belong only to God.
Replace the underlined portion of the sentence with the answer choice that results in a sentence that is clear, precise, and meets the requirements of standard written English.
is not easily conquered but yet
is not easily conquered yet
is not easily conquered; yet
is not easily conquered and yet
is not easily conquered; yet
Since the underlined portion above joins two complete sentences with a similar topic, the semicolon would be most appropriate here to avoid a run-on sentence.
Example Question #3 : Rewriting A Sentence Fragment
Adapted from "Common Sense" by Thomas Paine (1776)
These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is expense only that gives every thing its value. Heaven knows how to put a proper price upon its goods. And it would be strange indeed if so heavenly an article as freedom should not be highly rated. Britain, with an army to enforce her tyranny, has declared that she has a right (not only to tax) but "to bind us in all cases whatsoever," and if being bound in that manner, is not slavery, than is there not such a thing as slavery upon earth. Even the expression is sacrilegious; for so unlimited a power can belong only to God.
Replace the underlined portion of the sentence with the answer choice that results in a sentence that is clear, precise, and meets the requirements of standard written English.
manner is not slavery;
manner is not slavery,
manner is not, slavery
manner, is not slavery,
manner is not slavery,
The comma after "manner" is not needed, but one is needed after "slavery" since this is the end of the "if" clause in a traditional "if/then" statement.
Example Question #1 : Rewriting A Sentence Fragment
Adapted from "Common Sense" by Thomas Paine (1776)
These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is expense only that gives every thing its value. Heaven knows how to put a proper price upon its goods. And it would be strange indeed if so heavenly an article as freedom should not be highly rated. Britain, with an army to enforce her tyranny, has declared that she has a right (not only to tax) but "to bind us in all cases whatsoever," and if being bound in that manner, is not slavery, than is there not such a thing as slavery upon earth. Even the expression is sacrilegious; for so unlimited a power can belong only to God.
Replace the underlined portion of this sentence with a version that is clear, precise, and meets the requirements of standard written English.
sacrilegious: for
sacrilegious; for [No Change]
sacrilegious for
sacrilegious. For
sacrilegious; for [No Change]
The original punctuation, using the semicolon to combine two complete but related sentences, would be most appropriate here.
Example Question #315 : Sat Writing
Adapted from "Common Sense" by Thomas Paine (1776)
These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is expense only that gives every thing its value. Heaven knows how to put a proper price upon its goods. And it would be strange indeed if so heavenly an article as freedom should not be highly rated. Britain, with an army to enforce her tyranny, has declared that she has a right (not only to tax) but "to bind us in all cases whatsoever," and if being bound in that manner, is not slavery, than is there not such a thing as slavery upon earth. Even the expression is sacrilegious; for so unlimited a power can belong only to God.
Replace the underlined portion of this sentence with a version that is clear, precise, and meets the requirements of standard written English.
but whoever serves the country now deserves our love and gratitude
but whoever can stand the crisis now should have our thanks
but he who can stand serving the country now deserves to be loved
but he who can shrink from the service of our country should be thanked
but whoever serves the country now deserves our love and gratitude
The phrase "but whoever serves the country now deserves our love and gratitude" comes closest to reproducing the idea of the original text in contemporary English.
Example Question #316 : Sat Writing
Adapted from "Common Sense" by Thomas Paine (1776)
These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is expense only that gives every thing its value. Heaven knows how to put a proper price upon its goods. And it would be strange indeed if so heavenly an article as freedom should not be highly rated. Britain, with an army to enforce her tyranny, has declared that she has a right (not only to tax) but "to bind us in all cases whatsoever," and if being bound in that manner, is not slavery, than is there not such a thing as slavery upon earth. Even the expression is sacrilegious; for so unlimited a power can belong only to God.
Replace the underlined portion of this sentence with a version that is clear, precise, and meets the requirements of standard written English.
country but
has been
country. But
country; but
country: but
country; but
The original punctuation, using a semicolon between two complete sentences on the same topic, is the most appropriate choice here.
Example Question #101 : Rewriting A Full Sentence
Adapted from "Common Sense" by Thomas Paine (1776)
These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is expense only that gives every thing its value. Heaven knows how to put a proper price upon its goods. And it would be strange indeed if so heavenly an article as freedom should not be highly rated. Britain, with an army to enforce her tyranny, has declared that she has a right (not only to tax) but "to bind us in all cases whatsoever," and if being bound in that manner, is not slavery, than is there not such a thing as slavery upon earth. Even the expression is sacrilegious; for so unlimited a power can belong only to God.
Replace the underlined portion of this sentence with a version that is clear, precise, and meets the requirements of standard written English.
a right (not only to tax) but [No Change]
a right not only to tax but
a right, not only to tax but
a right not only to tax, but
a right (not only to tax) but [No Change]
The original phrase works well here, since the parentheses take the place of the commas we would normally use to surround a nonrestrictive phrase such as "not only to tax," but none of the other choices surround the phrase with commas like that.
Example Question #1 : Separating, Combining, Or Moving Sentences
(1) The sport of lacrosse, while perhaps not as widely popular today in the United States as baseball or football, is far older. (2) These games served many important cultural functions. (3) They were used to settle disputes between tribes, as festival events, and to train young men to become warriors and hunters.
(4) Hundreds of men and women from rival tribes or villages would gather to play at once. (5) The playing field was sometimes several miles long. (6) The original game was very different from the organized sport played today. (7) A single game would be played from dawn until sunset, and be followed by dancing and feasting.
(8) Modern, standardized versions of lacrosse started to be played in the 1850s and soon became very popular throughout Canada and the United States. (9) For over a century, it has been one of the most widely played sports in high schools in both nations.
Which is the best way to combine Sentences 4 and Sentence 5?
Hundreds of men and women from rival tribes would gather to play at once and they would play on fields sometimes several miles long.
Hundreds of men and women from rival tribes would gather at once to play on fields sometimes several miles long.
Hundreds of men and women from rival tribes or villages would gather to play at once, but the playing field was sometimes several miles long.
On playing fields sometimes several miles long, gathering to play would be hundreds of men and women from rival tribes.
Gathering at once were hundreds of men and women from rival tribes, who played on fields sometimes several miles long.
Hundreds of men and women from rival tribes would gather at once to play on fields sometimes several miles long.
Simplicity is the best option here. Keep the sentence direct, eliminate redundancies, and complicate the sentence structure as little as possible. The correct answer is "Hundreds of men and women from rival tribes would gather at once to play on fields sometimes several miles long."
Example Question #1 : Combining Sentences
(1) Cowboys have long been a symbol in American society. (2) On the one hand, they represent American strength, adventurousness, and indefatigability. (3) But they also call up images of oppression, racism, and exploitation. (4) However, both of these romanticized views of cowboys betray the dull routine and everyday realities of the lives that many cowboys lived.
(5) Some cowboys worked at the same farms for much of their lives, while others periodically moved cattle from place to place without ever participating in a gun fight or being harangued by unexpected or hidden enemies. (6) Today, their figurative descendants can still be found living in agricultural areas, working hard to ensure that steady supplies of milk, meat and other agricultural products find their ways to stores and your dining room table.
Which of the following is the best option for combining Sentences 2 and 3?
On the one hand, they represent American strength, adventurousness, and indefatigability; on the other hand, they call up images of oppression, racism, and exploitation.
On the one hand, they represent American strength, adventurousness, and indefatigability, on the other, they call up images of oppression, racism, and exploitation.
On the one hand, they represent American strength, adventurousness, and indefatigability, because they call up images of oppression, racism, and exploitation.
On the one hand they represent American strength, adventurousness, and indefatigability on the other, they call up images of oppression, racism, and exploitation.
On the one hand, they represent American strength, adventurousness, and indefatigability; moreover, on the other, they call up images of oppression, racism, and exploitation.
On the one hand, they represent American strength, adventurousness, and indefatigability; on the other hand, they call up images of oppression, racism, and exploitation.
Using a semicolon to connect the two clauses is the best option here. In the sentence's original form, the second sentence is actually a fragment because it is a dependent clause because it begins with the conjunction "but." If the period at the end of the first sentence were changed to a comma, it would be correct to use a conjunction like "but"; however, the answer choice that does this uses the conjunction "because," which suggests that the sentences are related as cause and effect when this isn't the case. Of the two answer choices that introduce a semi-colon, one adds the extraneous word "moreover"; the simpler option is the correct one.
Example Question #1 : Analyzing, Combining, And Moving Content
[1] Modern ice hockey was developed in Canada during the nineteenth century. [2] Two students from McGill University came up with the first rules. [3] A couple of years later, the sport made its way to the United States. [4] The game became a part of the Olympics in 1924.
[5] I first learned about hockey during the sixth grade. [6] When I watched my first game on the television. [7] After that first game, I begged my parents to let me play. [8] They agreed, and I started playing on my first team later that year.
[9] For the first year, I was not very good. [10] I could barely skate! [11] However, after years of practicing, I finally made it on to my high school varsity team. [12] Ice hockey was first played in the United States by universities. [13] Now, as I start applying to colleges, I hope to be able to play for my college. [14] I want to continue playing to achieve my dream of playing for the United States Olympic ice hockey team.
Which is the best way to combine Sentence 5 and Sentence 6?
I learned about ice hockey, in the middle of sixth grade, and watching a game on the television.
When, in the sixth grade, I first learned about ice hockey on the television.
During the sixth grade, I learned about ice hockey despite watching a game on the television.
The sixth grade is where I first learned about hockey by watching a game on the television.
I first learned about ice hockey in the sixth grade when I watched my first game on the television.
I first learned about ice hockey in the sixth grade when I watched my first game on the television.
As written in the passage, sentence 6 is a fragment and needs to be combined with sentence 5 to make a grammatically correct sentence. Because the writer is trying to tell us about the time he or she learned about ice hockey, "when" is the correct relative pronoun to use when combining the two sentences.
Example Question #4 : Combining Sentences
[1] The contemporary feminist movement had its origins more than two thousand years ago. [2] Because many people don’t realize it, some of the first feminists were men. [3] Early feminists such as Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton were most concerned in achieving education and legal recognition such as property and voting rights. [4] Other early feminists avidly rejected society’s narrow domestic vision for women. [5] These feminists ranged from Jane Austen to George Eliot.
[6] Still other feminists were concerned with obtaining equal educational and employment opportunities for women. [7] In the field of medicine, there was Florence Nightingale, Clara Barton, and Margaret Sanger, in the field of education there was Virginia Woolf and Mary Wollstonecraft. [8] During the twentieth century, issues such as reproductive rights, pay equality, and protection against sexual harassment would arise. [9] Recently, men’s rights activists have been opposing the work of contemporary feminists, claiming that the movement seeks to divest men of power and oppress them for the benefit of women. [10] Thanks largely to the efforts of these courageous early feminists, women today enjoy more equal rights than at any other time in Western history.
What is the best way to combine Sentences 4 and 5?
Other early feminists avidly rejected society’s narrow domestic vision for women, such as Jane Austen or George Eliot.
Other early feminists, avidly rejecting society’s narrow domestic vision for women, were including Jane Austen and George Eliot.
Other early feminists, such as Jane Austen and George Eliot, avidly rejected society’s narrow domestic vision for women.
Other early feminists avidly rejected society’s narrow domestic vision for women; however, these feminists ranged from Jane Austen to George Eliot.
Because other early feminists avidly rejected society’s narrow domestic vision for women, these early feminists ranged from Jane Austen to George Eliot.
Other early feminists, such as Jane Austen and George Eliot, avidly rejected society’s narrow domestic vision for women.
The combination that best preserves the original meaning of the two sentences is the one that adds Jane Austen and George Eliot to the first sentence as examples of early feminists: “Other early feminists, such as Jane Austen and George Eliot, avidly rejected society’s narrow domestic vision for women.”
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