SAT Writing : Improving Paragraphs
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Example Questions
Example Question #481 : Improving Paragraphs
1 The legend of Billy the Kid, one of the most famous outlaws of the Wild West. 2 Allied Henry McCarty and William H. Bonney, Billy the Kid was a gunfighter who was rumored to have killed nearly two dozen men in 19th century America. 3 Friendly and charming, his status was relatively unknown until a price was put on his head in 1881 by the governor of New Mexico, than a territory. 4 He lived in New York City, Indiana, Kansas, and Arizona at various points within his life. 5 Billy the Kid’s various crimes include: murder, horse thievery, stealing firearms, and escaping from jail. 6 Many of these various crimes were committed as part of his membership in Old West gangs. 7 He was finally, captured and killed by Sheriff Pat Garrett in New Mexico in 1881.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 2 be rewritten?
in the 19th century of America.
in the 19th century America.
in the 19th-century America.
in 19th century America. (no change)
in 19th-century America.
in 19th-century America.
Compound adjectives that immediately precede nouns must be hyphenated. No article is necessary in this phrase.
Example Question #172 : Improving And Correcting Sentences
1 The legend of Billy the Kid, one of the most famous outlaws of the Wild West. 2 Allied Henry McCarty and William H. Bonney, Billy the Kid was a gunfighter who was rumored to have killed nearly two dozen men in 19th century America. 3 Friendly and charming, his status was relatively unknown until a price was put on his head in 1881 by the governor of New Mexico, than a territory. 4 He lived in New York City, Indiana, Kansas, and Arizona at various points within his life. 5 Billy the Kid’s various crimes include: murder, horse thievery, stealing firearms, and escaping from jail. 6 Many of these various crimes were committed as part of his membership in Old West gangs. 7 He was finally, captured and killed by Sheriff Pat Garrett in New Mexico in 1881.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 3 be rewritten?
the governor of New Mexico, than a territory.
the governor of New Mexico than a territory.
New Mexico’s governor, than a territory.
New Mexico’s governor, then a territory.
the governor of New Mexico, than a territory. (no change)
the governor of New Mexico, than a territory.
Here, the only problem is the use of “than,” a comparative term, with “then,” a term that indicates time. We want to use “then” to indicate that New Mexico was a territory in the past.
Example Question #173 : Improving And Correcting Sentences
1 The legend of Billy the Kid, one of the most famous outlaws of the Wild West. 2 Allied Henry McCarty and William H. Bonney, Billy the Kid was a gunfighter who was rumored to have killed nearly two dozen men in 19th century America. 3 Friendly and charming, his status was relatively unknown until a price was put on his head in 1881 by the governor of New Mexico, than a territory. 4 He lived in New York City, Indiana, Kansas, and Arizona at various points within his life. 5 Billy the Kid’s various crimes include: murder, horse thievery, stealing firearms, and escaping from jail. 6 Many of these various crimes were committed as part of his membership in Old West gangs. 7 He was finally, captured and killed by Sheriff Pat Garrett in New Mexico in 1881.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 7 be rewritten?
He was finally captured, and killed by
He was finally, captured, and killed by
He was finally, captured and killed by (no change)
He was finally captured and killed by
He was finally, captured and killed, by
He was finally captured and killed by
“Finally” is an adverb modifying the verbs “captured” and “killed” in this sentence, and commas are generally not needed to separate adverbs from their verbs.
Example Question #174 : Improving And Correcting Sentences
1 The legend of Billy the Kid, one of the most famous outlaws of the Wild West. 2 Allied Henry McCarty and William H. Bonney, Billy the Kid was a gunfighter who was rumored to have killed nearly two dozen men in 19th century America. 3 Friendly and charming, his status was relatively unknown until a price was put on his head in 1881 by the governor of New Mexico, than a territory. 4 He lived in New York City, Indiana, Kansas, and Arizona at various points within his life. 5 Billy the Kid’s various crimes include: murder, horse thievery, stealing firearms, and escaping from jail. 6 Many of these various crimes were committed as part of his membership in Old West gangs. 7 He was finally, captured and killed by Sheriff Pat Garrett in New Mexico in 1881.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 3 be rewritten?
Friendly and charming, his status being relatively unknown
Being friendly and charming, he was relatively unknown
Friendly and charming, he was relatively unknown
Friendly and charming, his status was relatively unknown (no change)
Being friendly and charming, his status was relatively unknown
Friendly and charming, he was relatively unknown
Here, we have a misplaced modifier. It wasn’t Billy’s status that was friendly and charming; it was Billy himself who had those attributes. We need to rewrite the phrase to make this relationship clear. We don’t need to add the word “being” anywhere; the phrase is sufficient without it.
Example Question #175 : Improving And Correcting Sentences
1 If you’re wearing clothes right now you’re likely wearing something a sewing machine has produced. 2 But what you may not know is the history of the sewing machine that made your clothes. 3 The device was invented in England during the Industrial Revolution in the late 18th-century. 4 Greatly increasing efficiency by mechanizing the process. 5 Early machines were often used for stitching leather and canvas for various purposes including, horse tack, sails, and shoes. 6 Gradually, other machines emerged that were superior in Europe and America. 7 Famous brands today; include those by 19th century inventor Isaac Singer. 8 As the 1800s progressed sewing machines became purchases for not just clothing manufacturers but individuals.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 8 be rewritten?
As the 1800s progressed, sewing machines became purchases
As the 1800s progressed, sewing machines became purchases,
As, the 1800s progressed, sewing machines became purchases
As the 1800s progressed sewing machines became purchases,
As the 1800s progressed sewing machines became purchases (no change)
As the 1800s progressed, sewing machines became purchases
A comma is almost always needed to separate a dependent clause (“As the 1800s progressed”) from an independent clause (“sewing machines became purchases…”)
Example Question #176 : Improving And Correcting Sentences
1 The tornado, a dreaded meteorological phenomena and a verifiable force of nature. 2 But what is it really? 3 Also known as a twister or a cyclone, tornadoes are rapidly rotating funnels of air linked between a cloud and either the surface of the earth or water. 4 They are caused by the creation of strong thunderstorms by rotating columns of air, resultantly increased rainfall causes increased downward air movement. 5 Rather than the Richter scale measures the strength of hurricanes the Fujita scale measures the strength of a tornado. 6 This natural disasters’ destructive mite is commemorated in such classic films as the 1996, movie, Twister. 7 And the 2014 “Into the Storm” and even the 2013 sparse “Sharknado.” 8 The Fujita scale, also called the F-scale, was named after an employee at the University of Chicago and originally had 13 different levels.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 3 be rewritten?
Also known as twisters or cyclones
Also known as twisters or cyclones,
Also known as: a twister or a cyclone,
Also known as: twisters or cyclones,
Also known as a twister or a cyclone, (no change)
Also known as twisters or cyclones,
For parallelism’s sake, we want to make all the nouns in the sentence plural. No punctuation changes are necessary here.
Example Question #177 : Improving And Correcting Sentences
1 The tornado, a dreaded meteorological phenomena and a verifiable force of nature. 2 But what is it really? 3 Also known as a twister or a cyclone, tornadoes are rapidly rotating funnels of air linked between a cloud and either the surface of the earth or water. 4 They are caused by the creation of strong thunderstorms by rotating columns of air, resultantly increased rainfall causes increased downward air movement. 5 Rather than the Richter scale measures the strength of hurricanes the Fujita scale measures the strength of a tornado. 6 This natural disasters’ destructive mite is commemorated in such classic films as the 1996, movie, Twister. 7 And the 2014 “Into the Storm” and even the 2013 sparse “Sharknado.” 8 The Fujita scale, also called the F-scale, was named after an employee at the University of Chicago and originally had 13 different levels.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 3 be rewritten?
between – a cloud and either the surface of the earth or water.
between a cloud, and the surface of either the earth or water.
between a cloud and the surface of either the earth or water.
between a cloud and either the surface of the earth or water. (no change)
between: a cloud and either the surface of the earth or water.
between a cloud and the surface of either the earth or water.
When constructing an “either… or” clause, we want to make sure that the two objects in the clause are as similar as possible. The surface of the earth (1) and the water (2) are not as similar as the earth and the water. No punctuation is required after the word “between.”
Example Question #482 : Improving Paragraphs
1 The tornado, a dreaded meteorological phenomena and a verifiable force of nature. 2 But what is it really? 3 Also known as a twister or a cyclone, tornadoes are rapidly rotating funnels of air linked between a cloud and either the surface of the earth or water. 4 They are caused by the creation of strong thunderstorms by rotating columns of air, resultantly increased rainfall causes increased downward air movement. 5 Rather than the Richter scale measures the strength of hurricanes the Fujita scale measures the strength of a tornado. 6 This natural disasters’ destructive mite is commemorated in such classic films as the 1996, movie, Twister. 7 And the 2014 “Into the Storm” and even the 2013 sparse “Sharknado.” 8 The Fujita scale, also called the F-scale, was named after an employee at the University of Chicago and originally had 13 different levels.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 5 be rewritten?
Rather than the Richter scale measures (no change)
Rather like the Richter scale measures
Rather, than the Richter scale measures
Rather, the Richter scale measures
Rather, then, the Richter scale measures
Rather like the Richter scale measures
Here we’re making a comparison between two meteorological scales. “Rather like” is the construction used to make comparisons; the rest of the answers do not create the proper syntax for a comparison.
Example Question #179 : Improving And Correcting Sentences
1 The tornado, a dreaded meteorological phenomena and a verifiable force of nature. 2 But what is it really? 3 Also known as a twister or a cyclone, tornadoes are rapidly rotating funnels of air linked between a cloud and either the surface of the earth or water. 4 They are caused by the creation of strong thunderstorms by rotating columns of air, resultantly increased rainfall causes increased downward air movement. 5 Rather than the Richter scale measures the strength of hurricanes the Fujita scale measures the strength of a tornado. 6 This natural disasters’ destructive mite is commemorated in such classic films as the 1996, movie, Twister. 7 And the 2014 “Into the Storm” and even the 2013 sparse “Sharknado.” 8 The Fujita scale, also called the F-scale, was named after an employee at the University of Chicago and originally had 13 different levels.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 5 be rewritten?
the Richter scale: measures the strength of hurricanes; the Fujita scale measures
the Richter scale measures the strength of hurricanes, the Fujita scale measures
the Richter scale with the strength of hurricanes, the Fujita scale measures
the Richter scale, measuring the strength of hurricanes the Fujita scale,
the Richter scale measures the strength of hurricanes the Fujita scale measures (no change)
the Richter scale measures the strength of hurricanes, the Fujita scale measures
“Rather than the Richter scale measures the strength of hurricanes” is a dependent clause, so a comma must be used to separate it from the independent clause.
Example Question #482 : Improving Paragraphs
1 The tornado, a dreaded meteorological phenomena and a verifiable force of nature. 2 But what is it really? 3 Also known as a twister or a cyclone, tornadoes are rapidly rotating funnels of air linked between a cloud and either the surface of the earth or water. 4 They are caused by the creation of strong thunderstorms by rotating columns of air, resultantly increased rainfall causes increased downward air movement. 5 Rather than the Richter scale measures the strength of hurricanes the Fujita scale measures the strength of a tornado. 6 This natural disasters’ destructive mite is commemorated in such classic films as the 1996, movie, Twister. 7 And the 2014 “Into the Storm” and even the 2013 sparse “Sharknado.” 8 The Fujita scale, also called the F-scale, was named after an employee at the University of Chicago and originally had 13 different levels.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 5 be rewritten?
measures the strength and the tornado.
measuring the tornado’s strength.
measures the strength of a tornado. (no change)
measures the strength within the tornado.
measures the strength of tornados
measures the strength of tornados
As always, our comparison should employ parallel objects. Since “hurricanes” is plural, “tornado” should be, too.
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