SAT Writing : Improving Paragraphs
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Example Questions
Example Question #3051 : Sat Writing
1 Generally, a person will tell you they prefer not to have their food burned. 2 Because caramel: a delicious sticky dessert, is actually made by slowly burning sugar. 3 A copper saucepan, a candy thermometer, and sugar and water are all you need to make this lascivious treat. 4 Although some chefs prefer to use their eyes and nose rather than a thermometer. 5 Desserts that will be made from caramel, including ice cream, pies, crème brûlée, candy apples, nougats, flan, and pralines. 6 However it may take many disastrous attempts and scorched pans while the amateur caramel maker achieves the golden, buttery perfection of this tasty dessert.
In Sentence 6, where should a comma be inserted?
no comma should be inserted in the sentence
after “amateur”
after “However”
after “many”
after “attempts”
after “However”
When used as a conjunctive adverb, “However” must be followed by a comma.
Example Question #3052 : Sat Writing
1 Whether or not you are superstitious. 2 Fortunetelling has played a major role in many cultures.3 Also known as divination. 4 Western fortunetelling arose from the Romani people and such as reading tea leaves’, gazing into crystal balls, tarot reading, palmistry, and observing the flights, innards, or eating patterns of birds. 5 In William Shakespeare’s famous play “Julius Caesar,” for example, a soothsayer warns the soon to be assassinated Caesar to beware the Ides of March. 6 Western fortunetelling has also been influenced by Eastern divination methods such as the I Ching and to read coffee beans. 7 Unfortunately several major religions prescribe fortunetelling with very degrees of severity. 8 Despite, fortunetelling still thrives in contemporary culture, psychics and Magic-8 balls are just two of many fun ways to attempt to see into the future.
Where should a comma be inserted in Sentence 7?
after “religions”
after “Unfortunately”
after “very”
after “several”
after “fortunetelling”
after “Unfortunately”
“Unfortunately” is an introductory adverb that requires a comma after it.
Example Question #84 : Rewriting A Sentence Fragment
1 Whether or not you are superstitious. 2 Fortunetelling has played a major role in many cultures.3 Also known as divination. 4 Western fortunetelling arose from the Romani people and such as reading tea leaves’, gazing into crystal balls, tarot reading, palmistry, and observing the flights, innards, or eating patterns of birds. 5 In William Shakespeare’s famous play “Julius Caesar,” for example, a soothsayer warns the soon to be assassinated Caesar to beware the Ides of March. 6 Western fortunetelling has also been influenced by Eastern divination methods such as the I Ching and to read coffee beans. 7 Unfortunately several major religions prescribe fortunetelling with very degrees of severity. 8 Despite, fortunetelling still thrives in contemporary culture, psychics and Magic-8 balls are just two of many fun ways to attempt to see into the future.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 8 be rewritten?
culture; psychics and Magic-8 balls, are just
culture, psychics, and Magic-8 balls are just
culture; psychics and Magic-8 balls are just
culture, psychics and Magic-8 balls are just
culture, psychics and Magic-8 balls, are just
culture; psychics and Magic-8 balls are just
Without a semicolon, we have a comma splice: two independent clauses incorrectly joined with a comma.
Example Question #85 : Rewriting A Sentence Fragment
1 While maybe he wasn’t as well known as Bluebeard or Captain Kidd, Bill Johnston was still known as a feared pirate and river smuggler in his day. 2 That day being the War of 1812. 3 You see, he came from a British Loyalist family and settled in Upper Canada before beginning a career as a Lake Ontario schooner captain, he carried legal cargo as well as smuggled tea and rum into Canada. 4 When the War of 1812 began he spied on the British for several years. 5 In 1838, his most famous escapade occurred: in the capture and burning of the enemy ship Sir Robert Peel. 6 Because Johnston was arrested many times during his life (including for this crime against the Sir Robert Peel), he always either escaped jail or was not convicted because of juries sympathetic view of his activities. 7 Many people do not know that another name for pirate is “corsair.” 8 Nevertheless, Johnston played many roles in his lifetime – everything from fugitive and corsair, criminal and hero.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 3 be rewritten?
captain, he carried legal cargo, as well as smuggled tea, and rum into Canada.
captain; he carried legal cargo as well as smuggled tea and rum into Canada.
captain, he carried legal cargo, as well as smuggled tea and rum into Canada.
captain; he carried legal cargo, as well as smuggled tea and rum into Canada.
captain, he carried legal cargo as well as smuggled tea and rum into Canada. (no change)
captain; he carried legal cargo as well as smuggled tea and rum into Canada.
To address the original sentence’s comma splice, we must change the comma to a semicolon. No other punctuation needs to be added.
Example Question #3053 : Sat Writing
1 No one wants to live in the swamp. 2 But swamps are an incredibly important part of the Earth’s ecosystem. 3 They are defined as forested wetlands and can be found from Africa and Asia and in Europe and the Americas. 4 In fact: the only continent to not contained swamps is Antarctica. 5 Because swamps are rarely arid, meaning able to be farmed, and because it usually is not conducive to hunting, they are undervalued by human society. 6 In swamps, a portion of dry land that protects from the water is known as a “hammock.” 7 Moreover, swamps are actually integrity to our world, providing clean water and oxygen for people as well as breeding grounds for animals big and small.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 4 be rewritten?
to not contained (no change)
to not contain
to not be containing
to not be contained
to not have contained
to not contain
The grammatically correct choice happens to be the simplest in this case: “to not contain.” (To avoid splitting the infinitive, it could also be written as “not to contain.”)
Example Question #87 : Rewriting A Sentence Fragment
1 No one wants to live in the swamp. 2 But swamps are an incredibly important part of the Earth’s ecosystem. 3 They are defined as forested wetlands and can be found from Africa and Asia and in Europe and the Americas. 4 In fact: the only continent to not contained swamps is Antarctica. 5 Because swamps are rarely arid, meaning able to be farmed, and because it usually is not conducive to hunting, they are undervalued by human society. 6 In swamps, a portion of dry land that protects from the water is known as a “hammock.” 7 Moreover, swamps are actually integrity to our world, providing clean water and oxygen for people as well as breeding grounds for animals big and small.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 5 be rewritten?
and, usually, it isn’t conducive to hunting,
and, they usually wouldn’t be conducive to hunting,
and, it usually is not conducive to hunting,
and they usually are not conducive to hunting,
and it usually is not conducive to hunting,
and they usually are not conducive to hunting,
To create as parallel a sentence as possible, we want to change this clause so that it perfectly mirrors the first part of the sentence. This involves changing the singular subject pronoun “it” to the plural “they” and conjugating the verb accordingly.
Example Question #3057 : Sat Writing
1 Whether or not you are superstitious. 2 Fortunetelling has played a major role in many cultures.3 Also known as divination. 4 Western fortunetelling arose from the Romani people and such as reading tea leaves’, gazing into crystal balls, tarot reading, palmistry, and observing the flights, innards, or eating patterns of birds. 5 In William Shakespeare’s famous play “Julius Caesar,” for example, a soothsayer warns the soon to be assassinated Caesar to beware the Ides of March. 6 Western fortunetelling has also been influenced by Eastern divination methods such as the I Ching and to read coffee beans. 7 Unfortunately several major religions prescribe fortunetelling with very degrees of severity. 8 Despite, fortunetelling still thrives in contemporary culture, psychics and Magic-8 balls are just two of many fun ways to attempt to see into the future.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 8 be rewritten?
Despite this fortunetelling still thrives
Despite fortunetelling, still thrives
Despite fortunetelling still thrives
Despite, fortunetelling still thrives
Despite this, fortunetelling still thrives
Despite this, fortunetelling still thrives
The correct construction is always “despite [noun or pronoun],” then the rest of the clause. It is always incorrect to separate "despite" from its accompanying noun or pronoun with a comma.
Example Question #88 : Rewriting A Sentence Fragment
1 Whether or not you are superstitious. 2 Fortunetelling has played a major role in many cultures.3 Also known as divination. 4 Western fortunetelling arose from the Romani people and such as reading tea leaves’, gazing into crystal balls, tarot reading, palmistry, and observing the flights, innards, or eating patterns of birds. 5 In William Shakespeare’s famous play “Julius Caesar,” for example, a soothsayer warns the soon to be assassinated Caesar to beware the Ides of March. 6 Western fortunetelling has also been influenced by Eastern divination methods such as the I Ching and to read coffee beans. 7 Unfortunately several major religions prescribe fortunetelling with very degrees of severity. 8 Despite, fortunetelling still thrives in contemporary culture, psychics and Magic-8 balls are just two of many fun ways to attempt to see into the future.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 6 be rewritten?
such as to read the I Ching and read coffee beans
such as the I Ching and the reading of coffee beans
such as the I Ching and to read coffee beans
such as the I Ching and the reading coffee beans
such as the reading of the I Ching and to read coffee beans
such as the I Ching and the reading of coffee beans
The problem with the original phrase is its faulty parallelism. Since "such as the I Ching" sets up a "the"-based formation, this formulation should remain consistent in the second half of the construction.
Example Question #89 : Rewriting A Sentence Fragment
1 While maybe he wasn’t as well known as Bluebeard or Captain Kidd, Bill Johnston was still known as a feared pirate and river smuggler in his day.2 That day being the War of 1812. 3 You see, he came from a British Loyalist family and settled in Upper Canada before beginning a career as a Lake Ontario schooner captain, he carried legal cargo as well as smuggled tea and rum into Canada. 4 When the War of 1812 began he spied on the British for several years. 5 In 1838, his most famous escapade occurred: in the capture and burning of the enemy ship Sir Robert Peel. 6 Because Johnston was arrested many times during his life (including for this crime against the Sir Robert Peel), he always either escaped jail or was not convicted because of juries sympathetic view of his activities. 7 Many people do not know that another name for pirate is “corsair.” 8 Nevertheless, Johnston played many roles in his lifetime – everything from fugitive and corsair, criminal and hero.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 8 be rewritten?
everything from: fugitive and corsair, criminal and hero.
everything from fugitive and corsair to criminal and hero.
everything from fugitive and corsair, criminal and hero. (no change)
everything from: fugitive and corsair to criminal and hero.
everything, from fugitive and corsair, criminal and hero.
everything from fugitive and corsair to criminal and hero.
The correct construction is always “everything from __________ to __________” with no punctuation.
Example Question #64 : Correcting Grammatical Errors In A Sentence Fragment
1 While maybe he wasn’t as well known as Bluebeard or Captain Kidd, Bill Johnston was still known as a feared pirate and river smuggler in his day.2 That day being the War of 1812. 3 You see, he came from a British Loyalist family and settled in Upper Canada before beginning a career as a Lake Ontario schooner captain, he carried legal cargo as well as smuggled tea and rum into Canada. 4 When the War of 1812 began he spied on the British for several years. 5 In 1838, his most famous escapade occurred: in the capture and burning of the enemy ship Sir Robert Peel. 6 Because Johnston was arrested many times during his life (including for this crime against the Sir Robert Peel), he always either escaped jail or was not convicted because of juries sympathetic view of his activities. 7 Many people do not know that another name for pirate is “corsair.” 8 Nevertheless, Johnston played many roles in his lifetime – everything from fugitive and corsair, criminal and hero.
In Sentence 8, what punctuation mark could not stand replace the em dash ( – )?
Colon
Comma
Semicolon
All of these punctuation marks could be used.
Em dash
Semicolon
Here, a colon, comma, and em dash would all be correct to separate the independent clause from the additional information at the end of the sentence. Because this end of the sentence is not another independent clause, however, the semicolon would not be correct.
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