SAT Writing : Improving Paragraphs
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Example Questions
Example Question #531 : Improving Paragraphs
1 One of the most famous modern dancers of all times, the choreography of Martha Graham had a profound influence of the ballet world. 2 Based on “contraction and release,” the Graham technique, creating theatrical dramatic tension and deeply impassioned routines for audiences to see. 3 Graham used her inconsiderate flexibility to develop many innovative moves originating from the abdomen, back, and pelvis.4 Graham’s work rejected not only the tenants of classical ballet but instead the reactionary rebellions of early modern dance. 5 Like the work of dancer choreographers Helen Tamiris and Agnes de Mille. 6 After age forced her to retire from the stage; Graham sank into a deep depression and had difficulty watching other ballerinas dance her choreography. 7 Today, the Graham technique is taught almost universally between various dance academies, clinics, and universities. 8 Without it the world of modern day dance would indubitably not be the same.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 2 be rewritten?
the Graham technique, created theatrical dramatic tension
the Graham technique was being created by theatrical dramatic tension
the Graham technique created theatrical dramatic tension
the Graham technique, had created theatrical dramatic tension
the Graham technique, creating theatrical dramatic tension (no change)
the Graham technique created theatrical dramatic tension
We have to change “creating” from a gerund to an active present tense conjugation in order to keep the sentence from being a fragment. No comma is necessary in this portion of the sentence.
Example Question #532 : Improving Paragraphs
1 One of the most famous modern dancers of all times, the choreography of Martha Graham had a profound influence of the ballet world. 2 Based on “contraction and release,” the Graham technique, creating theatrical dramatic tension and deeply impassioned routines for audiences to see. 3 Graham used her inconsiderate flexibility to develop many innovative moves originating from the abdomen, back, and pelvis.4 Graham’s work rejected not only the tenants of classical ballet but instead the reactionary rebellions of early modern dance. 5 Like the work of dancer choreographers Helen Tamiris and Agnes de Mille. 6 After age forced her to retire from the stage; Graham sank into a deep depression and had difficulty watching other ballerinas dance her choreography. 7 Today, the Graham technique is taught almost universally between various dance academies, clinics, and universities. 8 Without it the world of modern day dance would indubitably not be the same.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 8 be rewritten?
Without the world of modern day dance
Without it the modern day dance world
Without it the world of modern day dance
Without its world of modern day dance
Without it, the world of modern day dance
Without it, the world of modern day dance
“Without it” is an introductory phrase that requires a comma to separate it from the rest of the sentence.
Example Question #531 : Improving Paragraphs
1 Want to book a copacetic hotel, or dine at a premier restaurant? 2Your best bet may be: to consult a Michelin Red Guide. 3 These guides have been published by a French company since 1900 and using anonymous “inspectors” to award establishments either zero, one, two, and three stars. (4 Yes, the same company also manufactures tires. 5 It employs more than 100,000 people. 6 The guides were actually established in order for encouraging people to take more car trips to slavish hotels and exclusive restaurants.) 7 Nowadays the Michelin Guides are regarded by some as the ultimate abetters of taste.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 3 be rewritten?
either zero, through three, stars.
either zero or one, two or three stars.
either zero, one, two, or three stars.
either zero to three stars.
either zero, one, two, and three stars. (no change)
either zero, one, two, or three stars.
“Either” always appears with “or”; there are no exceptions to this rule.
Example Question #532 : Improving Paragraphs
1 Want to book a copacetic hotel, or dine at a premier restaurant? 2 Your best bet may be: to consult a Michelin Red Guide. 3 These guides have been published by a French company since 1900 and using anonymous “inspectors” to award establishments either zero, one, two, and three stars. (4 Yes, the same company also manufactures tires. 5 It employs more than 100,000 people. 6 The guides were actually established in order for encouraging people to take more car trips to slavish hotels and exclusive restaurants.) 7 Nowadays the Michelin Guides are regarded by some as the ultimate abetters of taste.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 2 be rewritten?
Your best bet maybe to consult
Your best bet may be to consult
Your best bet may be, consulting
Your best bet, may be consulting
Your best bet may be: to consult (no change)
Your best bet may be to consult
Colons generally appear after a full independent clause and function to introduce a list, neither of which is the case in this sentence. No punctuation is needed in the underlined phrase, and “may be” remains as two words.
Example Question #83 : Correcting Grammatical Errors In A Sentence Fragment
1 Want to book a copacetic hotel, or dine at a premier restaurant? 2Your best bet may be: to consult a Michelin Red Guide. 3 These guides have been published by a French company since 1900 and using anonymous “inspectors” to award establishments either zero, one, two, and three stars. (4 Yes, the same company also manufactures tires. 5 It employs more than 100,000 people. 6 The guides were actually established in order for encouraging people to take more car trips to slavish hotels and exclusive restaurants.) 7 Nowadays the Michelin Guides are regarded by some as the ultimate abetters of taste.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 6 be rewritten?
The guides were actually established in order for encouraging people
The guides were actually establishing in order to encourage people
The guides were actually established in order to encourage people
The guides were actually established, in order for encouraging people
The guides were actually establishing in order for encouraging people
The guides were actually established in order to encourage people
The correct construction is always “in order to” + infinitive, not “in order for” + gerund. No commas are necessary in this part of the sentence.
Example Question #533 : Improving Paragraphs
1 Want to book a copacetic hotel, or dine at a premier restaurant? 2Your best bet may be: to consult a Michelin Red Guide. 3 These guides have been published by a French company since 1900 and using anonymous “inspectors” to award establishments either zero, one, two, and three stars. (4 Yes, the same company also manufactures tires. 5 It employs more than 100,000 people. 6 The guides were actually established in order for encouraging people to take more car trips to slavish hotels and exclusive restaurants.) 7 Nowadays the Michelin Guides are regarded by some as the ultimate abetters of taste.
In Sentence 7, where should a comma be inserted?
No comma should be inserted
After “Nowadays”
After “arbiter”
After “some”
After “regarded”
After “Nowadays”
Since “Nowadays” is an introductory word, it requires a comma to separate it from the rest of the sentence.
Example Question #534 : Improving Paragraphs
1 It may seem counterinsurgency, but people all around the world are now proposing the legalization of dangerous recreational drugs. 2 Advocates argue that legalization could reduce the schemata of drug addiction, as well as the incarcerated population in jails. 3 If drugs were sold in stores, the government could tax them and benefit from the revue. 4 Whereas, the incidence of drug-related malfeasance and crime could decrease as well. 5 However there are also dangers to legalization; with opponents asserting that it would only lead to more addiction. 6 While countries such as Portugal and the Netherlands have already implemented drug decriminalization with positive affects, only time will tell if such a policy could be beneficial in the United States.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 5 be rewritten?
However, there are also dangers
However, there also being dangers,
However there are also dangers (no change)
However, there are also dangers,
However there are also dangers,
However, there are also dangers
Other than the addition of a comma after the introductory word “However,” this part of Sentence 5 does not require any rewriting.
Example Question #108 : Rewriting A Sentence Fragment
1 It may seem counterinsurgency, but people all around the world are now proposing the legalization of dangerous recreational drugs. 2 Advocates argue that legalization could reduce the schemata of drug addiction, as well as the incarcerated population in jails. 3 If drugs were sold in stores, the government could tax them and benefit from the revue. 4 Whereas, the incidence of drug-related malfeasance and crime could decrease as well. 5 However there are also dangers to legalization; with opponents asserting that it would only lead to more addiction. 6 While countries such as Portugal and the Netherlands have already implemented drug decriminalization with positive affects, only time will tell if such a policy could be beneficial in the United States.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 5 be rewritten?
legalization; with opponents asserting that it would only lead to more addiction. (no change)
legalization, with opponents asserted that it would only lead to more addiction.
legalization, opponents asserting that it would only lead to more addiction.
legalization, with opponents asserting that it would only lead to more addiction.
legalization, opponents asserting the leading to of more addiction.
legalization, with opponents asserting that it would only lead to more addiction.
“With opponents asserting that it would only lead to more addiction” is a dependent clause, so the proper punctuation to separate it from the rest of the sentence (an independent clause) is a comma and not a semicolon. Otherwise, no rewriting is necessary.
Example Question #109 : Rewriting A Sentence Fragment
1 One of the most famous modern dancers of all times, the choreography of Martha Graham had a profound influence of the ballet world. 2 Based on “contraction and release,” the Graham technique, creating theatrical dramatic tension and deeply impassioned routines for audiences to see. 3 Graham used her inconsiderate flexibility to develop many innovative moves originating from the abdomen, back, and pelvis. 4 Graham’s work rejected not only the tenants of classical ballet but instead the reactionary rebellions of early modern dance. 5 Like the work of dancer choreographers Helen Tamiris and Agnes de Mille. 6 After age forced her to retire from the stage; Graham sank into a deep depression and had difficulty watching other ballerinas dance her choreography. 7 Today, the Graham technique is taught almost universally between various dance academies, clinics, and universities. 8 Without it the world of modern day dance would indubitably not be the same.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 4 be rewritten?
but also it rejected the reactionary rebellions of early modern dance
but also being a rejection of the reactionary rebellions of early modern dance
but instead rejecting the reactionary rebellions of early modern dance
but instead the reactionary rebellions of early modern dance (no change)
but also the reactionary rebellions of early modern dance
but also the reactionary rebellions of early modern dance
Regardless of subject, the correct grammatical construction is always “not only __________ but also __________,” with the two blanks functioning as parallel items.
Example Question #231 : Improving And Correcting Sentences
1 Want to book a copacetic hotel, or dine at a premier restaurant? 2Your best bet may be: to consult a Michelin Red Guide. 3 These guides have been published by a French company since 1900 and using anonymous “inspectors” to award establishments either zero, one, two, and three stars. (4 Yes, the same company also manufactures tires. 5 It employs more than 100,000 people. 6 The guides were actually established in order for encouraging people to take more car trips to slavish hotels and exclusive restaurants.) 7 Nowadays the Michelin Guides are regarded by some as the ultimate abetters of taste.
How should the underlined portion of Sentence 3 be rewritten?
These guides been published by a French company since 1900, used
These guides have been published by a French company since 1900 and used
These guides have been published by a French company since 1900 and using (no change)
These guides, having been published by a French company since 1900 and using
These guides, have been published by a French company since 1900, used
These guides have been published by a French company since 1900 and used
We need parallel structures in this sentence, which means that “using” must be changed to match the past participle “published.”
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