SAT Writing : Improving Paragraphs

Study concepts, example questions & explanations for SAT Writing

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Example Questions

Example Question #2971 : Sat Writing

Are you trying to stick to a budget? Using coupons for purchases, also known as “couponing,” is a great way to save money on groceries. Coupons are a little piece of paper that can give you a discount on what you buy. You will be amazed at the great bargains and amazing savings you can get!

It’s easy to get started. When you open up your daily newspaper, one might find a glossy insert full of coupons. Some of the coupons will be for things you don’t buy, some will be for things you buy all the time. Go through the coupons and chop out the ones you can use.

The key to successful couponing is getting multiple copies of coupon circulars. Ask your friends, your neighbors, and family if they have any extras. Some coupon users even go through the recycling at their office to find more coupons! Have you ever heard of such a thing in your life! Completely devoted, these circulars help coupon users to get even more savings.

Couponing might sound like hard work, but for many people, it’s also a hobby. Not only does it help them save hundreds of dollars per year, but also it gives them a fun challenge every time they do their shopping. 

How can the underlined sentence be separated into two distinct and grammatically complete sentences?

Possible Answers:

Also known as using coupons. For purchases, “couponing” is a great way to save money on groceries.

These two clauses cannot be separated

Having had use of the coupons for purchases. "Couponing” is a great way to save money on groceries.

Couponers use coupons for purchases. Having saved one's coupons, also known as "couponing."

Using coupons for purchases; also known as “couponing” is a great way to save money on groceries.

Correct answer:

These two clauses cannot be separated

Explanation:

The underlined sentence includes a dependent introductory clause, and thus cannot be separated without significant alteration to the meaning and content of the sentence. All of the other answers either create a sentence fragment, or make the sentence too wordy while altering its meaning.

Example Question #1 : Revising Introductions And Transitions In A Sentence Fragment

The plot of modern political television usually revolves around several key themes. First, there is a political conflict at the national level between major parties. Second, there are emotional and practical concerns related to office politics; furthermore, there are a number of subplots that usually have to do with local politics and tit-for-tat agreements. Finally, things resolve themselves later on in the show because much television just works itself out.

 

Pick an appropriate revision for the underlined phrase below, taken from the first sentence in the passage: 

The plot of modern political television usually revolves around several key themes.

Possible Answers:

around several comedic and dramatic tropes that matter greatly

No change

many key themes

around nothing substantive

around ideas that surprise audiences

Correct answer:

No change

Explanation:

The phrasing offered here is good, useful, and direct. This opening thesis statement does not need to be complicated; "around nothing substantive" changes the meaning of the sentence; "many key themes" introduces a grammatical error, changing the verb "revolves" from instransitive to transitive; "around several comedic and dramatic tropes that matter greatly" is prolix (wordy); "around ideas that surprise audiences" again changes the intended meaning, as key themes need not be surprising.

Example Question #121 : Improving And Correcting Sentences

1 All in all, aviation will likely continue to fascinate people for centuries to come. 2 Long before the famous Wright brothers humans were attempting to fly. 3 The ancient Greek myth of Icarus and Daedalus shows the tantalizing allusion of flight. 4 With large kites’ in China may have been the first successful instance of human flight several thousand years ago. 5 Hundreds of years later and despite many hazings; the Montgolfier brothers and other pioneering aviators began experimenting with manned hot-air balloon flights. 6 Therefore, technology has advanced to the point of supersonic and hypersonic flight, but people are still trying to break new barriers and invent new methods of flight.

In Sentence 1, what transitional word or phrase could not replace “All in all”?

Possible Answers:

All things considered

By and large

Where this will hold true

In the long run

On balance

Correct answer:

Where this will hold true

Explanation:

“Whereas” is a word that indicates contrast and not conclusion, so “Whereas this will hold true” could not logically replace “All in all.” All the other choices indicate conclusion.

Example Question #2971 : Sat Writing

1 The Moluccas is a chain, or archetype, of islands belonging to Indonesia. 2 Historically, these islands were known as the Spice Islands for their abundance of nutmeg, cloves, mace, and pepper, this profundity of spices eventually drew colonial attention. 3 Spices such as cloves, cinnamon, cardamom, anise, and pepper were particularly popular during the medieval times. 4 In the 1600s, the Spice Wars arose as a result of competing Portuguese and Dutch interest’s in the Spice Islands. 5 The bloody conflict ended in the deaths of many native Moluccans as well as European traders, wherefore both Portugal and the Netherlands gained and lost territories ranging from Africa and South America. 6 For this day, strife occasionally breaks out on the islands although it is now motivated by religious and not colonial disagreements.7 It is located just west of New Guinea in the Pacific Ocean, and its more than 1,000 islands are home to more than 2 million people today.

What would be a better transitional phrase to begin Sentence 6?

Possible Answers:

For this day (no change)

While those days

To this day

In those days

After these days

Correct answer:

To this day

Explanation:

The sentence is explaining that a conflict still exists in the Moluccas up to and including the present day. The proper phrase to indicate this kind of temporal relationship is “To this day.” 

Example Question #1 : Rewriting A Sentence Fragment

1 The purpose of this agricultural practice is to produce large amounts of meat, milk, eggs, and textiles, such as wool and leather, at low costs. 2 It has many negative consequences; however, and many activists have raised concerns about sustainability, environmental risks, and ethics. 3 Factory farming, sometimes known euphonically as intensive animal farming, or industrial farming, is the practice of raising livestock at very high densities in order to decrease the costs of production. 4 On most factory farms, animals are reduced to commodities: bred unnaturally, confined in uncomfortably small cages, and dosed with high strength antibiotics to reduce concomitant infections. 5 Although, the livestock suffers considerately, drug-resistant bacteria become more common, and significant environmental hazards arise from the high quantities of animal waste. 6 Does the phrase manure lagoons sound familiar? 7 As a light of this issue, many people choose to become vegetarian or join anti-factory farming campaigns. 8 What will you do?

What would be a better transition to begin Sentence 5?

Possible Answers:

Effectively

Even though

All things considered

As a result

In this way

Correct answer:

As a result

Explanation:

Sentence 5 discusses consequences of Sentence 4, so “As a result” is the best transition to indicate this relationship.

Example Question #1 : Rewriting A Sentence Fragment

1 The purpose of this agricultural practice is to produce large amounts of meat, milk, eggs, and textiles, such as wool and leather, at low costs. 2 It has many negative consequences; however, and many activists have raised concerns about sustainability, environmental risks, and ethics. 3 Factory farming, sometimes known euphonically as intensive animal farming, or industrial farming, is the practice of raising livestock at very high densities in order to decrease the costs of production. 4 On most factory farms, animals are reduced to commodities: bred unnaturally, confined in uncomfortably small cages, and dosed with high strength antibiotics to reduce concomitant infections. 5 Although, the livestock suffers considerately, drug-resistant bacteria become more common, and significant environmental hazards arise from the high quantities of animal waste. 6 Does the phrase manure lagoons sound familiar? 7 As a light of this issue, many people choose to become vegetarian or join anti-factory farming campaigns. 8 What will you do?

How should the underlined portion of Sentence 7 be rewritten? 

Possible Answers:

As a light

As a light of this issue (no change)

In light of this issue

In lighting of

In the light of these issues

Correct answer:

In light of this issue

Explanation:

The standard phrase is “In light of.” There are no variants to it.

Example Question #1 : Rewriting A Sentence Fragment

1 E.J. Bellocq, who was he? 2 Those outside the photography coterie may not have heard of him, but his life’s work inspired innumerable films and works of literature. 3 Born into a rich family in the French Quarter of New Orleans Bellocq made a living, taking official photographs of ships, machinery, and other commercial items for local companies. 4 As a result, he became known for his portraits of Chinatown opium dens, and prostitutes in Storyville, one of the seediest districts of early 20th century New Orleans.

5 Bellocq’s work is categorized by its attention to detail and its rich aesthetic sensibility. 6 In his personal life, he was known for being eccentric, unfriendly, partially crippled, and possibly insane. 7 In his veritable Storyville portraits, the women are nude or clothed, looking at or away from the camera, and posed reclining or standing up, revealing great versatility on Bellocq’s part. 8 Tragically many of his negatives and prints were destroyed or damaged by an uncertain hand (mostly likely his or his Jesuit brother).

In Sentence 4, what transitional word or phrase should replace “As a result”?

Possible Answers:

Henceforth

However

Wherefore

Arguably

Today

Correct answer:

However

Explanation:

The sense of Sentence 4 is that, despite Bellocq’s official line of work, he became famous for a different kind of photography although. “However” is the only transitional word on the list that indicates that contrast satisfactorily.

Example Question #131 : Improving And Correcting Sentences

1 Since its inception in the 19th century, photography has played various and complex roles. 2 Crude pinhole cameras first appeared in antiquity. 3 Silver salts, the colloidon process, and daguerreotypes were all developed during the 1800s as photography took form and it’s technology evolved.

4 By the 1900s, photography was often considered an equal of, or at least analgesic to, painting and other visual art forms. 5 In much the same way that portrait painters used to memorialize their subjects in gilded frames and oil paints, photography now serves to document people’s daily lives, experiences, and possessions, such as what someone has eaten for dinner or seen on a road trip. 6 For example, on social media sites.

7 Photography can capture such minuet, intimate details that some aboriginal peoples famously believed cameras could steal the subject’s soul. 8 Perhaps this is why paparazzi are so victimized by others in their profession: Their intrusiveness may reveal more about the subject than he or she would like. 9 Celebrity photographers including Annie Liebovitz, who often favors a black and white composition, who also works for a famous magazine, attempt to portray the essence of famous people through a single photographic portrait. 10 Photography serves to document war atrocities, famine, or other human rights issues. 11 For example, Nick Ut’s famous picture of Vietnamese children being burned by napalm helped turn American public opinion against the Vietnam War, while Dorothea Lange’s photographs of migrant workers during the Great Depression influenced public policy regarding the treatment of these workers. 12 In the end, photography can be journalistic or artistic, significant or intrusive or ephemeral.

What is the best transitional word or phrase to add to the beginning Sentence 10?

Possible Answers:

On the other hand,

Other times

However,

Otherwise

Whereas,

Correct answer:

Other times

Explanation:

Sentence 10 introduces and discusses a different role for photography than the ones previously been mentioned in the passage. For this reason, we need a transitional phrase that indicates this new role. “Other times” is the only choice that adequately suits our criteria. (“On the other hand” implies a direct contrast or a rebuttal to a prior argument, so this phrase isn’t quite right for our purposes.)

Example Question #1 : Revising Introductions And Transitions In A Sentence Fragment

The Moluccas is a chain, or archetype, of islands belonging to Indonesia. Historically, these islands were known as the Spice Islands for their abundance of nutmeg, cloves, mace, and pepper, this profundity of spices eventually drew colonial attention. Spices such as cloves, cinnamon, cardamom, anise, and pepper were particularly popular during the medieval times. In the 1600s, the Spice Wars arose as a result of competing Portuguese and Dutch interest’s in the Spice Islands. The bloody conflict ended in the deaths of many native Moluccans as well as European traders, wherefore both Portugal and the Netherlands gained and lost territories ranging from Africa and South America. For this day, strife occasionally breaks out on the islands although it is now motivated by religious and not colonial disagreements. It is located just west of New Guinea in the Pacific Ocean, and its more than 1,000 islands are home to more than 2 million people today.

How should the underlined section be changed?

Possible Answers:

NO CHANGE

At this day,

After these days,

To this day,

For this day;

Correct answer:

To this day,

Explanation:

The sentence is explaining that a conflict still exists in the Moluccas up to and including the present day. The proper phrase to indicate this kind of temporal relationship is “To this day.” 

Example Question #431 : Improving Paragraphs

There once was a shepherd boy whom sat on the hillside watching the village sheep. He was hot and exhausted fanning himself, rapidly in a feeble attempt to cool himself down. On top of that, he had never been so bored before. To amuse himself, he decided to play a joke. He put his hands around his mouth and yelled in a loud voice, "Wolf! Wolf! A wolf is chasing the sheep!”

They came running. They asked the boy, “What’s going on? Did you yell ‘A wolf is chasing the sheep?’”

The boy laughed. “It was just a joke, everyone.”

The people fumed, but they all returned to their homes.

The next day, the boy bored again decided to amuse himself again. He bellowed, “Wolf! Wolf!” Again, the townspeople came running. Once they arrived and witnessed the laughing boy, they realized they’d been tricked a second time. Nonetheless, they returned home and irritated resolved to never fall for the trick again for third time.

The next day, the boy was watching his sheep. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a wolf appeared from behind the bushes. With its teeth bared, the boy cowered as the wolf approached the sheep. Terrified, he called, “Help! A wolf! A wolf is here!” The people ignored his cries. “That mischievous boy,” they all said to one another. “He must think he can fool us again.” But not one of them came running.

No one was there to witness as the wolf ate every last sheep on the hillside, as the boy helplessly cowered behind a bush. As the boy hid, he shook his head. “I shall never fib again,” he resolved to himself.

Which is the best alternative for the underlined word, "Nonetheless"?

Possible Answers:

On the other hand

Therefore

NO CHANGE

Likewise

Instead

Correct answer:

Therefore

Explanation:

The sentence here is a cause-effect relationship. The townspeople left irritated because they realized that the boy had tricked them. "Nonetheless" and "on the other hand" show a contrast between ideas, which does not apply here. "Instead" shows one action replacing another, while "likewise" shows a similarity of ideas, both of which also don't apply here. "Therefore" is the best answer.

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