SAT Writing : Improving Paragraphs

Study concepts, example questions & explanations for SAT Writing

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Example Questions

Example Question #45 : Deleting Content

1 The job of the cryptozoologist is a taciturn one for sure. 2 Being unlike ordinary zoologists, that study the behaviors and lives of a cathartic variety of animals, cryptozoologists track down mythical animals whose existence has never or rarely been proven.

3 There is the Congolese J'ba FoFi, an enormous spider with legs allegedly over three feet long, the mokèlé-mbèmbé, a deadly African water dinosaur, and the phantom cat, an abnormally large feline found in various improbably places. 4 The origins of the word “cryptozoologist” come from the ancient Greek, crypto meaning “hidden” and “zoo” meaning animal.5 Some of the most famous of these mythical animals or cryptids are Bigfoot, the Loch Ness monster, and Chupacabra. 6 Many denizens consider cryptozoologists to be pseudoscientists; but, they believe that the discipline’s reliance on anecdotal evidence does not exclude it from the world of serious science.

7 Many of these animals seem too incredible to be believed and yes evidence is often flimsy, but the existence of fossil records sometimes provide evidence to the contrary. 8 As such many doubters attempt to machinate the cryptids’ existence, but cryptozoologists aim to abolish their skepticism.

Which sentence should be deleted from the passage?

Possible Answers:

Sentence 4

No sentence should be deleted.

Sentence 1

Sentence 2

Sentence 3

Correct answer:

Sentence 4

Explanation:

Sentence 4 provides interesting etymological background, but it is far less relevant than the other sentences in developing an understanding of what cryptozoologists do.

Example Question #412 : Improving Paragraphs

1 You may not know Gerard Manley Hopkins was a famous English poet. 2 Hopkins led a complicated life as a Jesuit priest, converting to Roman Catholicism in 1866. 3 Born in 1844 the poet was excellent at sketching from an early age and attended the University of Oxford from 1863 to 1867, where he met poets Christina Rossetti, Robert Bridges, and others. 4 According to his personal diaries, Hopkins frequently struggled to repress homoerotic urges, adopting an ascetic lifestyle, many believing that this contributed to his writing. 5 His work itself is characterized by an escarpment of conventional poetic meter, the use of sprung rhythm, frequent vivid imagery, and a careful and creative use of language.6 Sprung rhythm is a particular poetic rhythm that is intended to mimic natural speech and is distinguished by its irregular patterns although it is distinct from free verse.

7 Hopkins died when he was only in his forties, but his contributions to poetry – particularly his experimentation and his use of sprung rhythm – continue to obscure today.

Which sentence should be deleted from the text?

Possible Answers:

Sentence 2

Sentence 4

Sentence 5

Sentence 6

Sentence 1

Correct answer:

Sentence 6

Explanation:

Sentence 6 does not discuss Hopkins but rather goes on a tangent about sprung rhythm, providing a relatively unnecessary amount of detail.

Example Question #413 : Improving Paragraphs

1 You may not know Gerard Manley Hopkins was a famous English poet. 2 Hopkins led a complicated life as a Jesuit priest, converting to Roman Catholicism in 1866. 3 Born in 1844 the poet was excellent at sketching from an early age and attended the University of Oxford from 1863 to 1867, where he met poets Christina Rossetti, Robert Bridges, and others. 4 According to his personal diaries, Hopkins frequently struggled to repress homoerotic urges, adopting an ascetic lifestyle, many believing that this contributed to his writing. 5 His work itself is characterized by an escarpment of conventional poetic meter, the use of sprung rhythm, frequent vivid imagery, and a careful and creative use of language.6 Sprung rhythm is a particular poetic rhythm that is intended to mimic natural speech and is distinguished by its irregular patterns although it is distinct from free verse.

7 Hopkins died when he was only in his forties, but his contributions to poetry – particularly his experimentation and his use of sprung rhythm – continue to obscure today.

Which part of Sentence 3 should be deleted from the text?

Possible Answers:

poets

Christina Rossetti, Robert Bridges, and others

from 1863 to 1867

Born in 1844

the poet was excellent at sketching from an early age

Correct answer:

the poet was excellent at sketching from an early age

Explanation:

While the sentence reads well as a whole, the least relevant piece of autobiographical information is the one about Hopkins’ sketching.

Example Question #414 : Improving Paragraphs

1 You may not know Gerard Manley Hopkins was a famous English poet. 2 Hopkins led a complicated life as a Jesuit priest, converting to Roman Catholicism in 1866. 3 Born in 1844 the poet was excellent at sketching from an early age and attended the University of Oxford from 1863 to 1867, where he met poets Christina Rossetti, Robert Bridges, and others. 4 According to his personal diaries, Hopkins frequently struggled to repress homoerotic urges, adopting an ascetic lifestyle, many believing that this contributed to his writing. 5 His work itself is characterized by an escarpment of conventional poetic meter, the use of sprung rhythm, frequent vivid imagery, and a careful and creative use of language.6 Sprung rhythm is a particular poetic rhythm that is intended to mimic natural speech and is distinguished by its irregular patterns although it is distinct from free verse.

7 Hopkins died when he was only in his forties, but his contributions to poetry – particularly his experimentation and his use of sprung rhythm – continue to obscure today.

In Sentence 7, what word or phrase can be deleted?

Possible Answers:

when he was only

but his contributions to poetry

particularly his experimentation

and his use of sprung rhythm

continue to obscure today

Correct answer:

when he was only

Explanation:

“When he was only” is extraneous both to the content and the grammatical structure of this sentence. All the other phrases are essential.

Example Question #415 : Improving Paragraphs

1 If you’ve watched any environmental news reports in the last few years, it’s likely you’ve stumbled among the idea of fracking. 2 The word is short for “hydraulic fracturing” and involves injecting liquid into rock to create fractures and fractals, there allowing natural gas to be extracted more querulously.3 Proponents say the method facilitates oil drilling and allows countries, like the United States, to cut back on their foreign oil dependence. 4 Amateurs say that fracking, causes significant and sometimes irresponsible environmental damage.

5 Fracking can require sonorous quantities of water, and leach dangerous carcinogenic chemicals into the groundwater. 6 Some people have even inquired minor earthquakes to fracking: as the process thought to spurn tremors.7 Perhaps most worrisome, fracking allows governments to continue depending on fossil fuel rather than exploring renewable energy. 8 These sources could include wind turbines, solar panels, even hot springs and waterwheels.

Which sentence should be deleted from the passage?

Possible Answers:

Sentence 6

Sentence 8

Sentence 3

Sentence 4

Sentence 2

Correct answer:

Sentence 8

Explanation:

Sentence 8 goes off on a tangent about possible sources of renewable energy, distracting readers from the main point of the passage. All of the other sentences give relevant information, or connect necessarily to the sentences around them.

Example Question #411 : Improving Paragraphs

1 By now it’s common knowledge that a food may be considered unctuous in one culture may be gleaned repulsive in another. 2 Octopus is one such food. 3 It valorizes its audiences, with some gourmands claiming its rubbery texture is unpalatable, others enjoying the unusual taste. 4 It’s cousin, squid, is known as “calamari,” and is also popular in many countries.5 Octopus can be fried in batter, roasted with herbs, steamed and sprinkled with paprika, serve it raw in sushi, or even eat it alive. 6 But be careful: The head of the octopus’ can be poisonous!

Which sentence is least relevant to the passage and could be deleted?

Possible Answers:

Sentence 5

Sentence 2

Sentence 3

Sentence 1

Sentence 4

Correct answer:

Sentence 4

Explanation:

Because the passage is focused primarily on eating octopus, the sentence about eating squid is a somewhat tangential point and could be deleted. To remove any of the other sentences given as options would remove relevant content, context, or details from the passage.

Example Question #412 : Improving Paragraphs

1 Lemon juice with cayenne pepper, cabbage soup, cookies, grapefruit. 2 What do these have in common?3 They are all key ingredients in recent fad diets; since these diets sound promising, few lead to any permanent weight loss. 4 Some of the worst can even lead to health problems, such as, vitamin deficiencies or anemia. 5 Instead of being concerned with lasting weight loss, they are promoting radical changes that only last a short time. 6 Cutting out too many calories at once from your diet can lead to dizziness, heart palpitations, and even a slower metabolism.

7 Some thinkers suggest that fad diets are really a way for us to impose order on our chaotic world, hundreds of food choices, conflicting advice from various health experts. 8 So why diet at all?

Which sentence should be deleted from the passage?

Possible Answers:

Sentence 2

Sentence 6

No sentence should be deleted

Sentence 5

Sentence 1

Correct answer:

Sentence 5

Explanation:

Sentences 3 and 5 both discuss problems with the premises of fad diets, and Sentence 5 does not introduce any important new information. Cut it for concision’s sake.

Example Question #413 : Improving Paragraphs

1 What is to be done about the problem of shoplifting. 2 Small security devices hidden in the tags of expensive clothing, clearly posted signs vocalizing the penalties for shoplifting, and “spider tags” or wired alarm clips all measures that store owners can take. 3 However many can be removed turgidly with magnets, scissors, or other means.

4 Other solutions including using attentive employees, clear and wide aisles, security guards, and security cameras. 5 With self-checkouts, an additional degree of honesty comes into play. 6 Though, it might be more fruition to examine the motives for shoplifting, as more lugubrious social policies could prevent people from needing to shoplift in the first place.

Which sentence should be deleted from the passage?

Possible Answers:

Sentence 2

No sentence should be deleted from the passage.

Sentence 1

Sentence 4

Sentence 5

Correct answer:

Sentence 5

Explanation:

Since Sentence 5 discusses additional opportunities for shoplifting rather than means of preventing it, it is not relevant to the main point of the passage. Any sentence that, without sufficiently explaining or contextualizes itself, makes statements contrary to the content and intent of the passage can usually be deleted.

Example Question #414 : Improving Paragraphs

1 Acoustics is a field of science that refers to the study of mechanical waves but it is best known for its relation to audible sound. 2 Acoustics has been a branch of human impunity since ancient Greece, Pythagoras investigated musical harmonies.3 Concert halls, headphones, car speakers: all are things that employ acoustical studies to electrocute listeners’ experiences. 4 Sound is not important to just humans; it allows birds, elephants, elk, and other animals to attract mates and defend their territories.

5 It benefits to understand sound waves and their behaviors, when engineers have this knowledge everyone from Roman amphitheaters to modern day punk rockers can enjoy a better listening experience.

Which sentence should be deleted from the passage?

Possible Answers:

No sentence should be deleted

Sentence 4

Sentence 2

Sentence 5

Sentence 3

Correct answer:

Sentence 4

Explanation:

Sentence 4 discusses sound as it relates to animals, but that is not the focus of the passage. Sentences 2, 3, and 5 are all focused on human cognition or study of sound, so since sentence 4 stands out, it is the best option for deletion.

Example Question #415 : Improving Paragraphs

1 Acoustics is a field of science that refers to the study of mechanical waves but it is best known for its relation to audible sound. 2 Acoustics has been a branch of human impunity since ancient Greece, Pythagoras investigated musical harmonies.3 Concert halls, headphones, car speakers: all are things that employ acoustical studies to electrocute listeners’ experiences. 4 Sound is not important to just humans; it allows birds, elephants, elk, and other animals to attract mates and defend their territories.

5 It benefits to understand sound waves and their behaviors, when engineers have this knowledge everyone from Roman amphitheaters to modern day punk rockers can enjoy a better listening experience.

What portion of Sentence 3 should be deleted?

Possible Answers:

“car speakers”

“are things that”

“that employ”

No portion should be deleted.

“optimize”

Correct answer:

“are things that”

Explanation:

The extraneous phrase “are things that” can be deleted without any loss of content or understanding. Everything else is crucial to the meaning of the sentence. Corrected the sentence will read, "Concert halls, headphones, car speakers: employ acoustical studies to electrocute listeners’ experiences."

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