SAT Writing : Improving Paragraphs
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Example Questions
Example Question #1 : Avoiding Ambiguity And Redundancy In A Full Sentence
There once was a shepherd boy whom sat on the hillside watching the village sheep. He was hot and exhausted fanning himself, rapidly in a feeble attempt to cool himself down. On top of that, he had never been so bored before. To amuse himself, he decided to play a joke. He put his hands around his mouth and yelled in a loud voice, "Wolf! Wolf! A wolf is chasing the sheep!”
They came running. They asked the boy, “What’s going on? Did you yell ‘A wolf is chasing the sheep?’”
The boy laughed. “It was just a joke, everyone.”
The people fumed, but they all returned to their homes.
The next day, the boy bored again decided to amuse himself again. He bellowed, “Wolf! Wolf!” Again, the townspeople came running. Once they arrived and witnessed the laughing boy, they realized they’d been tricked a second time. Nonetheless, they returned home and irritated resolved to never fall for the trick again for third time.
The next day, the boy was watching his sheep. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a wolf appeared from behind the bushes. With its teeth bared, the boy cowered as the wolf approached the sheep. Terrified, he called, “Help! A wolf! A wolf is here!” The people ignored his cries. “That mischievous boy,” they all said to one another. “He must think he can fool us again.” But not one of them came running.
No one was there to witness as the wolf ate every last sheep on the hillside, as the boy helplessly cowered behind a bush. As the boy hid, he shook his head. “I shall never fib again,” he resolved to himself.
How should the underlined section be corrected?
He or she came running.
They came, running.
The townspeople came running.
NO CHANGE
They all came running.
The townspeople came running.
The phrase "they" is ambiguous. The replacement of "they" with "the townspeople" clarifies who the pronoun refers to. "They all" does not fix the problem of ambiguity, "he or she" is illogical in this sentence, and the addition of a comma is unnecessary. "The townspeople came running" is the best answer.
Example Question #121 : Improving And Correcting Sentences
1 Ethnography: sounds erogenous but is simply a study of a culture or group of people.2 Originating in the field of anthropology, later becoming popular in sociology and other disciplines. 3 Ethnographies typically include: descriptions of geography, religion, economy, social behaviors, rituals and histories. 4 Most early ethnographies were written by ex-patriot European explorers traveling outside their home continent; though by some standards the Greek historian Herodotus was producing protoplasmic ethnographies hundreds of years before the Age of Exploration. 5 Ethnographies can take forms ranging from the confessional, the feminist, the critical, and the realist but most are qualitative and descriptive rather than quantitative and statistical. 6 Some attempt to provide fairly objective observations of a group or society, others have the anterior motive of empowering marginalized or repressed cultures.7 This group or culture may include anything from a fraternity to a particular Uruguayan village. 8 Today ethnographers often immerse themselves fully in the lives of their subjects, be they powerful politicians and impoverished blue-collar workers.
How should Sentence 2 be rewritten?
Its originating in the field of anthropology, later becoming popular in sociology and other disciplines.
Originating in the field of anthropology; later becoming popular in sociology and other disciplines.
Originating in the field of anthropology, it later became popular in sociology and other disciplines.
Originating in the field of anthropology, later becoming popular in sociology and other disciplines. (no change)
Originating in the field of anthropology, with it later becoming popular in sociology and other disciplines.
Originating in the field of anthropology, it later became popular in sociology and other disciplines.
Since the only verbs in the original sentence are gerunds, we need to change one to an active tense and add a subject to avoid a run-on.
Example Question #2571 : Sat Writing
In Swift's works, he has given very different specimens both of sentiment and expression. His "Tale of a Tub" has little resemblance to his other pieces. It exhibits a vehemence and rapidity of mind, a copiousness of images, and vivacity of diction, such as he afterwards never possessed, or never exerted. It is of a mode so distinct and peculiar, that it must be considered by itself; what is true of that, is not true of any thing else which he has written.
How can the significance of the underlined sentence to the overall passage best be described?
The writer is claiming that Tale of a Tub bears very little resemble to Swift's other works.
The writer is stating that Tale of a Tub greatly resembles Swift's other works, but not backing this up with any evidence.
The writer is using evidence to demonstrate how very much Tale of a Tub resembles Swift's other works.
The writer is citing specific details to demonstrate how little Tale of a Tub resembles Swift's other works.
The writer is claiming that Tale of a Tub bears very little resemble to Swift's other works.
The final sentence of the passage emphasizes how very little resemblance Tale of a Tub bears to Swift's other works.
(Passage adapted from "Swift" in Volume III of Lives of the Most Eminent English Poets by Samuel Johnson, 1781)
Example Question #2572 : Sat Writing
In Swift's other works is found an equable tenor of easy language, which rather trickles than flows. His delight was in simplicity. That he has in his works no metaphor, as has been said, is not true; but his few metaphors seem to be received rather by necessity than choice. He studied purity; and though perhaps all his strictures are not exact, yet it is not often that solecisms can be found; and whoever depends on his authority may generally conclude himself safe. His sentences are never too much dilated or contracted; and it will not be easy to find any embarrassment in the complication of his clauses, any inconsequence in his connections, or abruptness in his transitions.
How can the significance of the underlined sentence to the overall passage best be described?
The underlined sentence explains how Swift's easy language is an example of simplicity.
The underlined sentence explains how Swift's metaphors are an example of simplicity.
The underlined sentence explains how Swift's authority is an example of simplicity.
The underlined sentence explains how Swift's way of structuring sentences is an example of simplicity.
The underlined sentence explains how Swift's way of structuring sentences is an example of simplicity.
The underlined sentence has to do with the simplicity of Swift's sentence structure, as is demonstrated by the references to "clauses," "connections," and "transitions."
(Passage adapted from "Swift" in Volume III of Lives of the Most Eminent English Poets by Samuel Johnson, 1781)
Example Question #2573 : Sat Writing
Those who would gladly pass their days together may be separated by the different course of their affairs; and friendship, like love, is destroyed by long absence, though it may be increased by short intermissions. What we have missed long enough to want it, we value more when it is regained; but that which has been lost till it is forgotten, will be found at last with little gladness, and with still less if a substitute has supplied the place. A man deprived of the companion to whom he used to open his bosom, and with whom he shared the hours of leisure and merriment, feels the day at first hanging heavy on him; his difficulties oppress, and his doubts distract him; he sees time come and go without his wonted gratification, and all is sadness within, and solitude about him. But this uneasiness never lasts long; necessity produces expedients, new amusements are discovered, and new conversation is admitted.
How can the significance of the underlined sentence to the overall passage best be described?
It explains how all of the troubles following the loss of a friend do not end quickly.
It explains how all of the troubles following the loss of a friend are exercerbated by new amusements and conversations.
It explains how all of the troubles following the loss of a friend soon pass.
It explains how all of the troubles following the loss of a friend cannot be ameliorated by new amusements and conversations.
It explains how all of the troubles following the loss of a friend soon pass.
After listing the many problems that follow the loss of a friend, the passage ends with a sentence that shows that these problems soon pass when a person finds new amusements and conversations.
(Sentence adapted from "The Decay of Friendship" in Issue 23 of The Idler by Samuel Johnson, September 23rd, 1758.)
Example Question #2574 : Sat Writing
Adapted from “Our Amateur Poets, No. III. — William Ellery Channing” in The Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe — Vol. XI: Literary Criticism by Edgar Allan Poe (1843, ed. 1902)
In speaking of Mr. William Ellery Channing, who has just published a very neat little volume of poems, we feel the necessity of employing the indefinite rather than the definite article. He is a, and by no means the, William Ellery Channing. He is only the son of the great essayist deceased. He is just such a person, in despite of his clarum et venerabile nomen, as Pindar would have designated by the significant term τις.
How can the significance of the underlined sentence to the overall passage best be described?
It makes clear that Channing is the son of a famous essayist.
It makes clear that Pindar would have designated Channing with the Greek term τις.
It makes clear that this is not the William Channing being talked about.
It makes clear that one should not confuse Channing with his more famous father.
It makes clear that one should not confuse Channing with his more famous father.
While all of the other statements may be true based on the entire excerpt, the underlined sentence clarifies that Channing is not the same person as his more famous father.
Example Question #2575 : Sat Writing
Adapted from “Our Amateur Poets, No. III. — William Ellery Channing” in The Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe — Vol. XI: Literary Criticism by Edgar Allan Poe (1843, ed. 1902)
It may be said in [Channing's] favor that nobody ever heard of him. He has always succeeded in keeping himself from being made the subject of gossip. His book contains about sixty-three things, which he calls poems, and which he no doubt seriously supposes so to be. They are full of all kinds of mistakes, of which the most important is that of their having been printed at all.
How can the significance of the underlined sentence to the overall passage best be described?
The writer feels that Channing's "poems" are not poetry at all.
The writer feels that Channing's "poems" are too awful to be published.
The writer feels that the mistake in printing Channing's "poems" is that they open him up to gossip.
The writer feels that Channing's "poems" are not well known enough.
The writer feels that Channing's "poems" are too awful to be published.
The overall sense of the passage is that these "poems" are not poetry at all and are in fact so awful that publishing them was a mistake.
Example Question #2576 : Sat Writing
Adapted from “Our Amateur Poets, No. III. — William Ellery Channing” in The Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe — Vol. XI: Literary Criticism by Edgar Allan Poe (1843, ed. 1902)
[Channing's poems] are not precisely English; perhaps they are Channingese. We may convey some general idea of them by two foreign terms not in common use — the Italian pavoneggiarsi, “to strut like a peacock,” and the German word for “sky-rocketing,” schwarmerei. They are more preposterous, in a word, than any poems except those of the author of “Sam Patch;” for we presume we are right (are we not?) in taking it for granted that the author of “Sam Patch” is the very worst of all the wretched poets that ever existed upon earth.
How can the significance of the underlined sentence to the overall passage best be described?
Channing is the author of "Sam Patch" as well as these poems.
Channing's poetry uses proposterous foreign words which makes them as bad as "Sam Patch."
Channing's poetry is the very worst that ever existed.
Channing's poetry is not the worst, but it is very close to the worst.
Channing's poetry is not the worst, but it is very close to the worst.
The author says that Channing's poems are more proposterous than any others except for "Sam Patch," which he considers the worst.
Example Question #2577 : Sat Writing
Adapted from “Our Amateur Poets, No. III. — William Ellery Channing” in The Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe — Vol. XI: Literary Criticism by Edgar Allan Poe (1843, ed. 1902)
In spite, however, of the customary phrase about a man’s “making a fool of himself,” we doubt if any one was ever a fool of his own free will and accord. A poet, therefore, should not always be taken too strictly to task. He should be treated with leniency, and, even when damned, should be damned with respect.
How can the significance of the underlined sentence to the overall passage best be described?
Since poetry is difficult to write well, even a bad poet must be treated respectfully.
Poets do not make fools of themselves willingly.
Poets cannot be held to the same standards as other writers.
Poets are above the censure reserved for other writers.
Since poetry is difficult to write well, even a bad poet must be treated respectfully.
The author believes that poets should not be taken so strictly to task because poetry demands some respect (presumably because it is so difficult to write well).
Example Question #2578 : Sat Writing
Adapted from “Our Amateur Poets, No. III. — William Ellery Channing” in The Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe — Vol. XI: Literary Criticism by Edgar Allan Poe (1843, ed. 1902)
Nobility of descent, too, should be allowed its privileges not more in social life than in letters. The son of a great author cannot be handled too tenderly by the critical Jack Ketch. Mr. Channing must be hung, that’s true. He must be hung in terrorem — and for this there is no help under the sun; but then we shall do him all manner of justice, and observe every species of decorum, and be especially careful of his feelings, and hang him gingerly and gracefully, with a silken cord, as the Spaniards hang their grandees of the blue blood, their nobles of the sangre azula.
How can the significance of the underlined sentence to the overall passage best be described?
The poet will be treated as harshly as any other writer.
The poet will be criticized, but gently, as befits his pedigree.
The poet will be executed literally and in the same way as the Spaniards execute their nobles.
The poet will not be criticized very harshly.
The poet will be criticized, but gently, as befits his pedigree.
The author here is suggesting that, because of his pedigree, Channing will still be metaphorically executed, but in a gentler way than usual.
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