Piano Please by Emily

Piano Please by Emily - February 2017 Scholarship Essay

The first time I failed at piano was in elementary school. My mom made my brother take guitar lessons and I had to take piano. I really did not like going to my teacher's house or having to practice every day on my own. I was embarrassed to play the songs for her because I was scared I would mess up and felt I wasn't good enough. Lucky for me, the lessons didn't last long. My teacher had to move away and my mom couldn't find anyone to replace her. I was thankful I no longer had to take the lessons but I was just beginning to enjoy them. Even though it wasn't my fault that the teacher moved away, I felt like I had failed myself. I was starting to enjoy playing the piano and all of a sudden couldn't learn any more and had no way to change that. I immediately wished I hadn't taken the lessons for granted.
Fast forward to middle school, I was interested in piano again. My mom is a great piano player and hearing her play all the time made me wish I could do the same. There were still no teachers in my area but we did know someone who played really well and was willing to teach me. By this time, I wanted to skip learning notes and just play chords. I was being lazy and didn't want to put in that much effort, but I also knew that I could play the songs I wanted by just knowing the chords. This time around, things were much better. It was easier for me to pick it up because I had a little background in playing. I enjoyed the lessons and felt really good when I was able to learn a new song. It wasn't long before once again my teacher had to move. This was frustrating but I had a plan.
Shortly after my new piano teacher moved away I decided I could teach myself! I was not going to let this inconvenience become another failure. I looked up some videos on YouTube and found a bunch of lessons! I had already forgotten the chords I learned with my teacher, but quickly remembered them through my online lessons. I was feeling good again and learned even more songs! It was really helpful that my mom knew how to play because she could assist me when the videos weren't enough. I continued learning this way for a long time. Since I did not have a real teacher to report to it was difficult to keep myself motivated and stay on top of practicing. Eventually there came a time where I hit a wall with the video lessons. They just couldn't teach me anymore, I needed a real person. Even my mom wasn't able to help me and we just ended up frustrating each other.
Three times I felt like I had failed at piano. Why wasn't I able to be disciplined enough to stick with it? Why wasn't my passion to want to play enough to keep me motivated? For years, I tried to push piano out of my mind and forget about wanting to play. I was humiliated at all my failed attempts and hoped I would eventually be disinterested in playing again. I wanted to wallow in my failure and refused to learning anything from it.
For some reason, I couldn't let the whole idea go. Whenever I listened to a song with a beautiful piano piece, I wished so badly I could play it. I was jealous whenever I heard someone talk about playing. Finally, I came to terms with all my struggling and decided enough was enough. I am going to learn how to play the piano. It has not been an easy journey and I still find myself struggling. I tried to enroll in a course where I could learn piano and get college credit and it didn't end up working out but I stayed positive! Instead of letting this get me down, I decided to look for a regular teacher even though it would cost more money and take up more of my time. I am so excited to be on this journey yet again.
It has been a long and rough time trying to learn how to play the piano. I have felt very discouraged throughout the process, but in the end realized that it has all happened for a reason. I have discovered something new about piano and myself each time I have tried to learn. I am thankful it wasn't easy because I would have taken playing the piano for granted. I have realized that sometimes you have to work for what you want, but that's ok! I can't wait to continue playing the piano and learn even more from the experience.