Passion and Fear: Determining Success Through Failure by Alora

Passion and Fear: Determining Success Through Failure by Alora - February 2017 Scholarship Essay

When emotion becomes uncontrollable, so much that your blood begins raging with every thought of devotion, passion has awakened itself. It was the third quarter, the first game of many to come this season, or so I thought. My blue, worn out sneakers were tightly laced, all of my muscles were stretched and my game face was on. My eyes pierced through the souls of my opponents, realizing that we all had the same goal, win. However, at this point, the score was far from close and we were on the weak end. Being a young team, we were told to ignore the scoreboard and play; I wanted to pursue this command until I found myself lying on the gym floor with an unfamiliar, harsh pain in my left knee. Although I’d never experienced this discomfort before, it became a reoccurrence as I tried to tough it out the next three games. Unfortunately, I constantly found myself back down on the floor, instead of back peddling down the court. A few days later, the doctor confirmed I had torn my ACL and was going to need surgery if I wanted to play sports again, words no athlete ever wants to hear.
With an IV plunged deep into my vein, heart racing and gown on, I was at the beginning to what would result in a very long six month recovery process. I’d never been so afraid, afraid of not waking up, afraid of the unknown. I said goodbye to my family and was wheeled away into the room that was supposed to make circumstances worse, only to get better. When I woke up, I was lying on a bed, harder than the gym floors I’d landed on, with a very awkward brace on my leg. It felt like I was asleep for just a few seconds, but the next step I knew would feel longer. I began physical therapy a week after my procedure.
With arms aching from crutches, knee weak, jelly muscles, frustration and embarrassment flooded my cheeks; I was a firefly stuck in a mason jar just itching to be free. People could see the light I illuminated, but all I could notice was the blackened failure I perpetrated. My physical therapist said I was doing great, but I didn’t feel it. I went from jumping and playing ball everyday, to struggling to stand on my own two feet. This was going to be arduous, that I knew, but all I could do was continue to push myself harder and harder.
I accomplished the leg lifts, the stretches, a ninety degree bend was my goal, I surpassed that. Sweat, blood and tears escaped my tired body only to show others of my accomplishments. Little did they know, on the inside my triumphs were more than physical. I was fulfilled, capable and proud. Months later, I was able to walk, to jog with ease, to run again! At the beginning of my journey all of this seemed so impossible, but now I was here, I was ready, I could play again.
The day your devotions are ripped from your life is a moment of unforgettable agony. My failure resulted in a new hope and opportunity for myself to understand the obstacles one must face to reach their goals. Now my left leg is more durable than my right, cushioned by solid secure muscle. My arms are strong, masters of crutches, nothing can get in my way. The amount of pride and satisfaction that currently light my determined eyes reveal the success I have achieved. I am thankful for those hard times spent in a room with white walls and encouraging quotes filling the emptiness, because they have made me who I am today. As Micheal Jordan once said, “To learn to succeed, you must learn to fail.”