SAT Writing : Improving Paragraphs

Study concepts, example questions & explanations for SAT Writing

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Example Questions

Example Question #21 : Improving And Correcting Sentences

1 Have you ever went hang gliding? 2 Sailing smoothly across the sky, hang gliders are a sight to behold and capture humans’ longstanding fascination with self propelled flight. 3 Whereas, it is also a dangerous pastime. 4 Personally, I know many people who are aware of the sport’s relative danger but still enjoy it on a regular basis. 5 With proper technical training and certification, it is possible to avoid some of the most common hang gliding catamounts, stalling near the ground, aerobatic stunts gone wrong, and failure to use helmets or parachutes.

7 In the United States, hang gliding is a relatively new sport and most hang gliders are wealthy and educated devotees. 8 Hang gliding actually originated in the 500s in China, with man-sized kites allowing people to sustain flight for short distances. 9 Continual advances in material technologies’ result in constantly improving hang glider equipment – specialized nylon parachutes and lightweight aluminum alloy frames, for example. 10 Popular hang gliding destinations in the United States include Salt Lake City, Utah, Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, and Jackson Hole, Wyoming. 11 The most ardent affiliates say there’s absolutely nothing like the joy of soaring miles above the ground for hours.

Which of the following sentences should have a comma added to it?

Possible Answers:

Sentence 7

Sentence 3

Sentence 6

Sentence 4

Sentence 5

Correct answer:

Sentence 7

Explanation:

When separating two independent clauses with a conjunction, a comma is always needed immediately before the conjunction. Correctly punctuated, Sentence 7 would read “In the United States, hang gliding is a relatively new sport, and most hang gliders are wealthy and educated devotees.”

Example Question #21 : Correcting Grammatical Errors In A Full Sentence

1 Have you ever went hang gliding? 2 Sailing smoothly across the sky, hang gliders are a sight to behold and capture humans’ longstanding fascination with self propelled flight. 3 Whereas, it is also a dangerous pastime. 4 Personally, I know many people who are aware of the sport’s relative danger but still enjoy it on a regular basis. 5 With proper technical training and certification, it is possible to avoid some of the most common hang gliding catamounts, stalling near the ground, aerobatic stunts gone wrong, and failure to use helmets or parachutes.

7 In the United States, hang gliding is a relatively new sport and most hang gliders are wealthy and educated devotees. 8 Hang gliding actually originated in the 500s in China, with man-sized kites allowing people to sustain flight for short distances. 9 Continual advances in material technologies’ result in constantly improving hang glider equipment – specialized nylon parachutes and lightweight aluminum alloy frames, for example. 10 Popular hang gliding destinations in the United States include Salt Lake City, Utah, Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, and Jackson Hole, Wyoming. 11 The most ardent affiliates say there’s absolutely nothing like the joy of soaring miles above the ground for hours.

How should Sentence 9 be rewritten?

Possible Answers:

Continual advances in material technologies’ result in constantly improving hang glider equipment; specialized nylon parachutes and lightweight aluminum alloy frames, for example.

Continual advances in material technologies’ result in constantly improving hang glider equipment: specialized nylon parachutes and lightweight aluminum alloy frames, for example.

Continual advances in material technologies’ result in constantly improving hang glider equipment – specialized nylon parachutes and lightweight aluminum alloy frames, for example. (no change)

Continual advances in material technologies result in constantly improving hang glider equipment, specialized nylon parachutes and lightweight aluminum alloy frames, for example. 

Continual advances in material technologies result in constantly improving hang glider equipment – specialized nylon parachutes and lightweight aluminum alloy frames, for example.

Correct answer:

Continual advances in material technologies result in constantly improving hang glider equipment – specialized nylon parachutes and lightweight aluminum alloy frames, for example.

Explanation:

Here, we have an apostrophe error. “Technologies” is not a possessive word in this case, so it should not have an apostrophe. Either a colon or an em dash is fine to separate “equipment” and “specialized.”

Example Question #23 : Improving And Correcting Sentences

1 Have you ever went hang gliding? 2 Sailing smoothly across the sky, hang gliders are a sight to behold and capture humans’ longstanding fascination with self propelled flight. 3 Whereas, it is also a dangerous pastime. 4 Personally, I know many people who are aware of the sport’s relative danger but still enjoy it on a regular basis. 5 With proper technical training and certification, it is possible to avoid some of the most common hang gliding catamounts, stalling near the ground, aerobatic stunts gone wrong, and failure to use helmets or parachutes.

7 In the United States, hang gliding is a relatively new sport and most hang gliders are wealthy and educated devotees. 8 Hang gliding actually originated in the 500s in China, with man-sized kites allowing people to sustain flight for short distances. 9 Continual advances in material technologies’ result in constantly improving hang glider equipment – specialized nylon parachutes and lightweight aluminum alloy frames, for example. 10 Popular hang gliding destinations in the United States include Salt Lake City, Utah, Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, and Jackson Hole, Wyoming. 11 The most ardent affiliates say there’s absolutely nothing like the joy of soaring miles above the ground for hours.

How should Sentence 10 be rewritten?

Possible Answers:

Popular hang gliding destinations in the United States include: Salt Lake City, Utah; Kitty Hawk, North Carolina; and Jackson Hole, Wyoming.

Popular hang gliding destinations in the United States include Salt Lake City, Utah; Kitty Hawk, North Carolina; and Jackson Hole, Wyoming.

Popular hang gliding destinations in the United States include Salt Lake City, Utah, Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, and Jackson Hole, Wyoming. (no change)

Popular hang gliding destinations in the United States include Salt Lake City, Utah – Kitty Hawk, North Carolina – and Jackson Hole, Wyoming.

Popular hang gliding destinations in the United States: include Salt Lake City, Utah, Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, and Jackson Hole, Wyoming.

Correct answer:

Popular hang gliding destinations in the United States include Salt Lake City, Utah; Kitty Hawk, North Carolina; and Jackson Hole, Wyoming.

Explanation:

Because the items in this list are compound items (phrases or things that contain commas), using only commas to punctuate the list can be confusing or unclear. For this reason, we turn to the semicolon’s second usage and use it as a sort of enhanced comma. We don’t use a colon in this sentence, since the part preceding the list is not an independent clause.

Example Question #24 : Improving And Correcting Sentences

1 Although agritourism is a fairly recent phenomenon in the Western world; it is proving popular in many countries. 2 Agritourism is broadly defined as any activity or attraction that draws visitors to a farm, and it can include anything from corn mazes and apple picking to vineyard tours, workshops on animal husbandry, and work-stay exchange programs. 3 The practice is particularly prevocalic in North America, Europe, and Australia. 4 With a huge variety of farms and activities available to agritourists. 5 For example: visitors can learn how to run a cattle drive in Wyoming, make cheese in France, harvest olives in Sicily, or pick kiwi fruit in New Zealand.

6 Income generated from agritourism can help small family farms remain soluble as well as educate the public about where their food comes from. 7 Henceforth, most people agree that agritourism is benevolent for everyone involved. 8 While there are some who argue that it is a cheap ploy designed to make selfish tourists feel better about their vacations. 9 All in all, it will be interesting to see how agritourism continues to develop in the future. 

How should Sentence 1 be rewritten?

Possible Answers:

Although agritourism is a fairly recent phenomenon in the Western world it is proving popular in many countries.

Although agritourism is a fairly recent phenomenon in the Western world, it is proving popular in many countries.

Although agritourism is a fairly recent phenomenon in the Western world; it is proving popular in many countries. (no change)

Although, agritourism is a fairly recent phenomenon in the Western world, it is proving popular in many countries.

Although, agritourism is a fairly recent phenomenon in the Western world; it is proving popular in many countries.

Correct answer:

Although agritourism is a fairly recent phenomenon in the Western world, it is proving popular in many countries.

Explanation:

In the original sentence, a semicolon is incorrectly separating a dependent clause from an independent clause. The correct punctuation is a comma. Generally speaking, no comma is necessary after the word “although.”

Example Question #25 : Improving And Correcting Sentences

1 Although agritourism is a fairly recent phenomenon in the Western world; it is proving popular in many countries. 2 Agritourism is broadly defined as any activity or attraction that draws visitors to a farm, and it can include anything from corn mazes and apple picking to vineyard tours, workshops on animal husbandry, and work-stay exchange programs. 3 The practice is particularly prevocalic in North America, Europe, and Australia. 4 With a huge variety of farms and activities available to agritourists. 5 For example: visitors can learn how to run a cattle drive in Wyoming, make cheese in France, harvest olives in Sicily, or pick kiwi fruit in New Zealand.

6 Income generated from agritourism can help small family farms remain soluble as well as educate the public about where their food comes from. 7 Henceforth, most people agree that agritourism is benevolent for everyone involved. 8 While there are some who argue that it is a cheap ploy designed to make selfish tourists feel better about their vacations. 9 All in all, it will be interesting to see how agritourism continues to develop in the future. 

How should Sentence 2 be rewritten?

Possible Answers:

Agritourism, broadly defined as any activity or attraction that draws visitors to a farm, and it can include anything from corn mazes and apple picking to vineyard tours, workshops on animal husbandry, and work-stay exchange programs.

Agritourism is broadly defined as any activity or attraction that draws visitors to a farm; and it can include anything from corn mazes and apple picking to vineyard tours, workshops on animal husbandry, and work-stay exchange programs.

Agritourism is broadly defined as any activity or attraction that draws visitors to a farm, including corn mazes and apple picking to vineyard tours, workshops on animal husbandry, and work-stay exchange programs.

Agritourism, broadly being defined as any activity or attraction that draws visitors to a farm, and including anything from corn mazes and apple picking to vineyard tours, workshops on animal husbandry, and work-stay exchange programs.

Agritourism is broadly defined as any activity or attraction that draws visitors to a farm, and it can include anything from corn mazes and apple picking to vineyard tours, workshops on animal husbandry, and work-stay exchange programs. (no change)

Correct answer:

Agritourism is broadly defined as any activity or attraction that draws visitors to a farm, and it can include anything from corn mazes and apple picking to vineyard tours, workshops on animal husbandry, and work-stay exchange programs. (no change)

Explanation:

Sentence 2 is already clear, concise, and grammatically correct. No rewriting is necessary.

Example Question #26 : Improving And Correcting Sentences

1 Although agritourism is a fairly recent phenomenon in the Western world; it is proving popular in many countries. 2 Agritourism is broadly defined as any activity or attraction that draws visitors to a farm, and it can include anything from corn mazes and apple picking to vineyard tours, workshops on animal husbandry, and work-stay exchange programs. 3 The practice is particularly prevocalic in North America, Europe, and Australia. 4 With a huge variety of farms and activities available to agritourists. 5 For example: visitors can learn how to run a cattle drive in Wyoming, make cheese in France, harvest olives in Sicily, or pick kiwi fruit in New Zealand.

6 Income generated from agritourism can help small family farms remain soluble as well as educate the public about where their food comes from. 7 Henceforth, most people agree that agritourism is benevolent for everyone involved. 8 While there are some who argue that it is a cheap ploy designed to make selfish tourists feel better about their vacations. 9 All in all, it will be interesting to see how agritourism continues to develop in the future. 

How should Sentence 6 be rewritten?

Possible Answers:

Income generated from agritourism can help small family farms remain soluble, and the farms can help educate the public about from where their food is coming.

Income generated from agritourism can help small family farms remain soluble as well as educate the public about where their food comes from. (no change)

Income generated from agritourism can help small family farms remain soluble, as well as educate the public about from where their food comes.

Income generated from agritourism can help small family farms remain soluble as well as educate the public about from where their food is coming.

Income generated from agritourism can help small family farms remain soluble, and the farms can help educate the public about where their food comes from.

Correct answer:

Income generated from agritourism can help small family farms remain soluble, and the farms can help educate the public about where their food comes from.

Explanation:

The original sentence implies that it is the income that helps educate the public, not the farms themselves, which is incorrect. By adding a few words to the second half of the sentence, we can be more precise. It is not necessary to rewrite the sentence in a convoluted way to avoid ending with a preposition; that’s an outdated rule that can be acknowledged when convenient but ignored when not.

Example Question #27 : Improving And Correcting Sentences

1 Although agritourism is a fairly recent phenomenon in the Western world; it is proving popular in many countries. 2 Agritourism is broadly defined as any activity or attraction that draws visitors to a farm, and it can include anything from corn mazes and apple picking to vineyard tours, workshops on animal husbandry, and work-stay exchange programs. 3 The practice is particularly prevocalic in North America, Europe, and Australia. 4 With a huge variety of farms and activities available to agritourists. 5 For example: visitors can learn how to run a cattle drive in Wyoming, make cheese in France, harvest olives in Sicily, or pick kiwi fruit in New Zealand.

6 Income generated from agritourism can help small family farms remain soluble as well as educate the public about where their food comes from. 7 Henceforth, most people agree that agritourism is benevolent for everyone involved. 8 While there are some who argue that it is a cheap ploy designed to make selfish tourists feel better about their vacations. 9 All in all, it will be interesting to see how agritourism continues to develop in the future. 

Which of the following is a sentence fragment?

Possible Answers:

none of the other choices

Sentence 5

Sentence 6

Sentence 8

Sentence 7

Correct answer:

Sentence 8

Explanation:

Sentence 8 is a dependent clause lacking an independent clause, which makes it a sentence fragment. Here is one way to rewrite it correctly: “However, there are some who argue that it is a cheap ploy designed to make selfish tourists feel better about their vacations.”

Example Question #28 : Improving And Correcting Sentences

1 Tattoos have even been found on ancient Icelandic, Egyptian, and South American mummies.2 On their various voyages to the South Pacific, Captain Cook and other European explorers brought back accounts of colorfully inked natives, and their sailors soon began to adopt the practice. 3 Early medieval Northern European tribes such as the Picts and Visigoths were often heavily tattooed; particularly the warriors. 4 Over the centuries, various cultures have described various meanings to tattoos, with indelible ink signifying everything from royalty to gang membership to magical powers.

5 Interestingly modern-day tattooing’s popularity evolved out of its adoption by wealthy British nobility, and by American celebrities, musicians, and actors. 6 While tattoos do have a dark past, most notably at Auschwitz, where Nazi’s identified prisoners by tattooing numbers on their arms. 7 Tattoos can be signs of joy, belief, or even healing, such as the colorful tattoos that breast cancer survivors use to cover mastectomy scars.

8 Today, there are more options than ever before, tattoo artists often have fine arts training, lengthy apprenticeships, and can offer specialty inks that glow in the dark or are easier to remove. 9 The internet is full of design ideas, tattoo parlor rankings, and even horror stories about bad tattoo experiences. 10 Now more than ever, information about ink abounds. 11 Choose wisely!

Which of the following sentences needs an apostrophe deleted from it?

Possible Answers:

Sentence 4

Sentence 5

Sentence 7

Sentence 6

Sentence 3

Correct answer:

Sentence 6

Explanation:

The plural of Nazi is Nazis, not "Nazi's." (Generally, apostrophes are not used to change a singular noun into a plural one.)

Example Question #29 : Improving And Correcting Sentences

1 Some of the best-known badlands occur in North America; Badlands National Park in South Dakota, Theodore Roosevelt National Park in North Dakota, Dinosaur National Monument in Colorado and Utah, and the Big Muddy Badlands in Saskatchewan. 2 Have you ever been to the badlands? 3 Despite their name, badlands are often fascinating topographical regions. 4 With beautiful vistas as well. 5 Elsewhere badlands can be found in Italy, New Zealand, Spain, and Argentina.6 Badlands are distinguished by their stark, dry terrain, their sharply eroded landscapes, their lack of vegetation, and their colorful, clay-rich rocks. 7 They often include geological features such as canyons, gullies, mesas, buttes, and hoodoos. 8 Nevertheless, visiting badlands can be an uncommon but rewarding experience.

What punctuation mark should be added to Sentence 6 to provide clarity?

Possible Answers:

:

,

;

none of the other answers

– 

Correct answer:

;

Explanation:

Sentence 6 presents complex items in a list. Because these items themselves contain commas, adding a semicolon as a sort of “super comma” keeps the items in the list distinct from each other. The correction would look like this: “Badlands are distinguished by their stark, dry terrain; their sharply eroded landscapes; their lack of vegetation; and their colorful, clay-rich rocks.”

Example Question #30 : Improving And Correcting Sentences

1 All in all, aviation will likely continue to fascinate people for centuries to come. 2 Long before the famous Wright brothers humans were attempting to fly. 3 The ancient Greek myth of Icarus and Daedalus shows the tantalizing allusion of flight. 4 With large kites’ in China may have been the first successful instance of human flight several thousand years ago. 5 Hundreds of years later and despite many hazings; the Montgolfier brothers and other pioneering aviators began experimenting with manned hot-air balloon flights. 6 Therefore, technology has advanced to the point of supersonic and hypersonic flight, but people are still trying to break new barriers and invent new methods of flight.

How should Sentence 2 be rewritten?

Possible Answers:

Long before the famous Wright brothers; humans were attempting to fly.

Long before, the famous Wright brothers; humans were attempting to fly.

Long before, the famous Wright brothers humans were attempting to fly.

Long before the famous Wright brothers humans were attempting to fly. (no change)

Long before the famous Wright brothers, humans were attempting to fly.

Correct answer:

Long before the famous Wright brothers, humans were attempting to fly.

Explanation:

Here, we have a dependent clause “Long before the famous Wright brothers” and an independent clause “humans were attempting to fly,” so we need to separate them with a comma.

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