Safety in Numbers by Youha

Safety in Numbers by Youha - November 2020 Scholarship Essay

I live on campus through university housing, which has made all the friends I have made in my dorm building the aspect of my education I am most thankful for. I am at the very least acquainted with all the girls on my floor and close with some guys below. We all socialize together responsibly, which is helpful during a pandemic.
When we socialize, I receive a therapeutic form of emotional support. During high school, I struggled to connect with my peers around me due to social anxiety I developed after a messy separation with previous friends. I reflected on myself for a while, I was finally able to connect with other friends. Going out to basketball games, sitting together during class, and attending dances together all filled my heart up with happiness.
That happiness reinvigorated my physical health; I was more consistent with my eating habits, lost a healthy amount of weight, and felt more comfortable with my body. When I realized what was happening, I worked hard to maintain this so that I would not have to worry about any health concerns. Thus, my emotional and physical health are maintained through socializing, but what about my mental health?
My mental health is closely tied in with my emotional and physical health through stress. If I get stressed, I will pay close attention to my emotional and physical needs first because they are the easiest to fix without help. Currently, however, I feel stuck when it comes to dealing with stress. Due to my student schedule and being the oldest out of five children, I need to balance both my education and financial stability. Thankfully, I am on a full-tuition scholarship program at my university, so I only pay for my housing. However, I recently found out that my single mother and I are not on the same financial page. I feel confused, burdened, and annoyed that a preventable mistake was still made, despite my efforts.
When I encountered this bump in the road, I did not go to my mother for help. Instead, I needed an outlet to feel validated, not irritated at someone. That is when I step out of my room and into the hallway where I would usually find my neighbors chatting. I tell them how I feel and all they need to say is, “that sucks”, and I feel 100% validated. Feeling heard is hard to get in times of civil turmoil and confusion, so in comparison, revealing my domestic troubles can feel insignificant. However, these issues way down my mind to the point where I feel paralyzed and alone with my thoughts. That is why if I can feel validated sooner than later, the process of my depression can go by faster, and I continue forward to tackle problems and find solutions.
The simple presence of another person also calms me down. My roommate recently returned home, so I am alone in my room. It increased the isolation I was experiencing, which fed depressed moods. It was harder to get any work done because I feel immobile and stuck. With a support network of friends who are in similar situations, I could just sit with one of them to receive much needed comfort. Sometimes I need to have someone who will just supervise me, but it is more so that I feel supported through encouragement that I am capable of completing all the tasks I have to complete.
I am so grateful to have made new friends who endure similar struggles but are all working hard to accomplish goals. I feel relief through knowing that everybody struggles and that I am not alone. Moving into a dormitory was a great decision for me because I have benefitted immensely by connecting with those around me. If I did not try to become friends with these people, I know I would be in a worse state of health.