Big Church by Sydney

Big Church by Sydney - June 2025 Scholarship Essay

It began when I was old enough to stay in “big church." I had been promoted from the nursery to the toddler class, exhibiting signs that I had successfully learned “Jesus Loves Me” and knew hand motions to the days of the creation story. The first day I stayed in the worship service, sitting on the gold velvet covered pews in my floral dress, I gazed at people surrounding me. Although I do not specifically remember this day, I remember the warmth of my faith community throughout the past seventeen years. It was in these years I realized the value of relationships.
Learning how to relate to senior adults should be a necessary required course. Imagine never learning how to engage older adults or be able to learn from their years of experience and wisdom? Learning from Coach Bain was one of the most impactful memories of my lifetime. Coach Bain was, unknowingly to me, a retired local coaching legend. His years at Amarillo High School made him quite famous in the local sports community, with him even being inducted into the Panhandle Sports Hall of Fame. His assistant coach always sat with Coach Bain on the back row. Everyone knew that was Coach’s pew except the occasional visitor. We always sat right in front of Coach, checked in on local games, and learned the latest upsets on the field. Our relationship was always conversational until his assistant coach moved out of state. It was that Sunday that my family moved back a pew to sit with Coach Bain. At the time it did not seem monumental, but it opened the door even wider for a relationship to blossom with me for years to come.
Holidays became richer. Coach Bain joined me and my family for Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, Thanksgiving, and even dining at his favorite BBQ joint Dyer’s. The waiters knew him by name and knew to bring him the “regular” with a side of ribs to take home to his overfed dogs Amos and Andy. He always joked with the cashier when he paid out and complained of the increase of food costs. We would often pick him up for events that occurred after dark. We would drop off loaves of pumpkin bread and plates of chocolate chip cookies, always remembering this picky eater did not like nuts. He became part of our family – and extension of us - and helped ease the pain of me losing my grandfather. It felt like a beautiful gift was specifically placed right in front of me to ease my grief. Imagine had that first conversation on that gold velvet pew never happened!
I recall the Sunday that Coach Bain was not sitting in our pew when worship began. My parents seemed worried, and mom stepped out to make a phone call. When he answered he seemed confused as to why church was starting early. She gently explained that it was 10:15am, just like always. He eventually made his way downtown, parked, and entered the worship area. Over the next several months, we noticed his memory slipping, and he began covering his fading memory.
In April Coach Bain’s brother shared he had made the decision to move Coach to assisted living. I felt heartbroken that someone that I loved was starting to decline, but my other concern was for his best friends, Andy and Amos. Would the facility let his dogs come with him? Would they receive good care? Questions swirled in my mind.
Throughout the next several months, we visited Coach regularly. We attended the Father’s Day cookout, took photos, brought Oreos, and squished together as we sat on his bed. Saturday morning Coach did not seem quite like himself. Soon had been admitted to the hospital. He commented how he was already home and did not even notice that Andy and Amos were missing. Watching someone you love struggle is painful – seeing glimpses of them but realizing pieces are lost. We said our goodbyes, hugged, and he pulled me in for an extra embrace. He teared up and tearfully told me that I did not know how much I meant to him. I deeply felt those words – because he meant that much to me, too. It was six hours later that he passed – peacefully – in his sleep. Feelings of grief infiltrated my body and soul. I realized that day how much this relationship deeply impacted me. Although he did not have children of his own, it became very apparent that he had adopted many students. It was meaningful having so many people calling to see if he had watched the latest football rivals. The impact of one man’s life rippled through our community.
Sharing love for senior adults is a big part of who I am. I never want the memories of those we love to be forgotten or grief to settle and never spur us forward. Without these learned skills, other teens my age will not know how to relate or connect with senior adults. Volunteer at a local memory care facility. Create awareness of diseases that affect our senior adults, like Alzheimer’s. Be vulnerable enough to make them a part of your family. Our world is better with our senior adults, and I hope by requiring courses to learn how to build relationships with senior adults, we can impact the future.