Fail to Find What You by Stephanye

Fail to Find What You by Stephanye - March 2017 Scholarship Essay

For those of you who have have failed at your major and have no idea what you want to do with your life, I'm here to tell you, that's ok. I've never been one to accept failure. I always had a firm belief that failure, was not an option. I saw failure as a sign that one was weak and that your spirit was defeated. It wasn't until I hit rock bottom that my feelings on failure changed. Failure, actually turned into becoming my saving grace. Some kids knew what they wanted to be when they grew up. I on the other hand, had no clue. I have always had a passion for multiple things and for creative arts, but I believed that in order to be "successful", I had to find a "practical" career. So when I started college, I decided to become a nurse. When I was younger, my brother was sick so I had grown up in a hospital so I was used to the environment. I also chose this career because I believed that nurses made good money and that I could find a job as a nurse anywhere. That career path unfortunately, was not the path for me. In the past, I had struggled in science courses, and during my fourth semester in taking my pre-requisites for nursing, I did not get the grade I needed to apply for Wright State's program. This was my second time attempting the course and this time, I was .5 points away from the grade I needed to move on to the next course. I was ​devastated. I had come so far and now my dream of being a nurse, came crashing down. I had worked so hard and wanted it so badly. I thought that this was what I was meant to do.

After a period of crying and feeling sorry for myself, I really sat down, and thought about it and I realized, my heart really wasn't in nursing. I didn't fail because I didn't try, I failed because at the end of the day, it wasn't what I really wanted. I chose it because I thought in order to survive in the real world, I had to get a job that would pay the bills. I came to the realization, that even though this didn't work out as I had planned, I didn't fail, I actually saved myself of being in a career that I wasn't passionate about. I had figured out how to turn my failure into a positive. This was my chance to find out what I really wanted to do. After a couple semesters of trying various courses, I found myself drawn to my hidden love for technology. For as long as I can remember, I have always been fascinated by how technology has changed how we interact with the world around us but never took it seriously as a career. I believed this because I thought that a person could only excel at one thing, the arts or the sciences. Seeing how my passion was in the arts and I struggled in science, I didn't think that I would be capable of being an engineer but since I was passionate in the field of technology, I decided to persevere anyway.

This fall, it will have been 4 years since my final semester preparing for the nursing program and I haven't looked back since. From this failure, I learned that a person can be passionate about the arts and engineering. I learned that I didn't fail, but merely grew into the person that I was always meant to be. As I continue my journey into a career as a software engineer, I want to be an example for young people and inspire them. The sky is the limit to what you can achieve. Someone told me once, if you're doing something you love then it doesn't feel like work. I'm not going to lie to you, there will be stressful times, but if you really want something, it will be worth the fight. So if you want to be a baker, you go out there and be the best baker you can be. If it makes you happy do it. I want also want you to know that you don't have to choose a praticial career but rather go for what you love or are passionate about. Know that you can love creative arts and science and through combining those passions be successful in an engineering field. Don't allow the pressure to please someone keep you from following your dreams. This is YOUR life. Live it the way you choose. Be the writers of your own stories. You can fall and while it feels like it feels like you failed, you are merely being taken down your true path.