My Journey Home by Siari

My Journey Home by Siari - May 2021 Scholarship Essay

It is the summer of 2020, and Falls Church isn’t going to be home for much longer. In another few weeks, I will cross the globe to venture off into the unknown and start a new life in a completely foreign land. Which is home? Arrival or departure? The place I’m leaving or the place I’m going? Like a compass near iron, I can’t decide my true North.

I know other people have had similar experiences, but my story is about how I developed my own internal stability to remain still when the world around me moved. This essential part of myself that shapes who I am today and what I aspire to be; a physician.

I’ve always known that my family has been a little different from most, but that’s never really bothered me. My story, that which distinguishes me, is not that I’ve relocated as many times as the number of fingers on my hands or that I will be eternally associated for being the “new girl”. I’m not defined by the number of friends I’ve whispered “we’ll definitely stay in touch” to, or by the smell of a freshly cleaned empty house forever etched in my memory.

Over the quarantine, I’ve learned something happens outside of our control, one must accept it and make do with what one is given. Growing up in a household that upholds this philosophy — to make the most out of situations — has forged me into the person I am today and given me the fortitude to cultivate my own internal perseverance.

Because I often change schools, usually every two or three years, I can’t invariably devote myself to the same sports or extracurricular activities. This is usually never a problem for me, but during my 9,000-mile move from Washington DC to Phnom Penh, Cambodia in my senior year of high school, I quickly realized that this wouldn’t be the case.

I found myself homesick, depressed, and constantly missing my friends. My new school, six times smaller than my previous one, didn’t offer any clubs similar to the debate and service clubs I had used for the past two years to fulfill my longing for acceptance and belonging. It lacked that extra “oomph” I needed to feel at home again. Nonetheless, based on what was offered, I adapted and fulfilled this vital yearn by creating my own clubs, which were popular among my new classmates beyond my wildest expectations.

Of course, I’m not going to say that I don’t feel blue for leaving part of my persona behind with each friendship I’ve left behind. What kind of person would I be if I didn’t? I’m grateful that my generation can take advantage of technological advances as without these innovations, these developments, I wouldn’t have been able to have stayed in touch with friends through social media. I frequently view my friends’ Instagram posts and Snapchat stories and regularly think about the friends I used to have a move or moves ago… I don’t wonder if they miss me; just if they remember me, if they realize the grand influence they’ve had on me, or if they’d be able to recognize how I’ve fundamentally changed as a person due to my experiences.

Living in two different places over the course of 2020 has impacted my worldview and influenced what makes me feel at home. With every move, we add something to our family’s traditions: dying Easter eggs and filling them with confetti from Mexico, watching Star Wars marathons from Florida, opening one gift on Christmas Eve from Texas, calling cars “wawas” from Puerto Rico, completing 1,000 piece puzzles from Virginia, and removing shoes when entering the house from Cambodia.

This fall I will be attending Saint Louis University- Madrid Campus and majoring in biology with a pre-med concentration. Why medicine? Why undergo eight years full of late nights and stress? Studying medicine is a privilege, and for me, medicine is the ultimate career.

I want to be a doctor because I love solving problems, being encompassed by stories of humanity, and turning theories into actions. I want to be a doctor because I’m a geek; I love science and medicine allows me to integrate this interest, inherent to my being, and apply it to a highly practical profession. I want to be a doctor because I yearn to be strong like my parents and adaptable like my younger self.

Moving a multitudinous number of times is inherent to my person not because of the novelty; I’m not necessarily a better person, more well-versed, or “quirky” because of my transient lifestyle. It’s inherent because it’s indispensable to my identity; it epitomizes my resilience, adaptability, and closeness with my family; valuable traits to possess as a future physician.

The biggest lesson I can take away from this is that home is neither arrival nor departure, neither in the United States nor Cambodia. Home is the feeling of shared comfort of a warm blanket with a family member, a long-distance FaceTime with a friend, and most importantly, the countless memories I’ve made along the way.