Respect by Shelby

Respect by Shelby - August 2014 Scholarship Essay

Mother Teresa once said, “If you judge someone, you have no time to love them.” I first saw this quote when it was posted on my fifth-grade classroom wall, and I disliked it. Or more along the lines of, I disliking Mother Teresa’s intention, but I knew that the quote’s veracity was inarguable. I felt that it was better to judge people to know if they’ll bring you down with them to not have to love them, because some people don’t deserve a chance if they’re only going to cause you to not be able to move forward. Judgments are shields, and mine was impenetrable I was like the man of steel.

Mr. Perez my martial arts instructor who replaced my previous one. The first three months of our relationship were characterized solely by my hatred toward him, manifested in my hurting him, each moment hurting myself twice as much. From the moment I laid eyes on him, he was the object of my unabated hatred, not because of anything he had ever done, but because of everything he represented.

I judged him to be a heartless, soulless, two-dimensional figure: he was a representation of my loneliness and pain. I left whenever he entered a room, I slammed car doors in his face. Over those three months, I took pride in the fact that I had not spoken a word to him or made eye contact with him.

I treated Mr. Perez with such resentment and anger because my hate was my protection, my shield. I, accustomed to viewing him as the embodiment of my pain, was afraid to let go of the anger and hate, afraid to love the person who allowed me to hold onto my anger, afraid that if I gave him a chance, I might be friends with him.

For those three months, Mr. Perez didn't have malice toward me; he understood me. He understood my anger and my confusion, and Mr. Perez put his faith in me, although he had every reason not to. To him, I was essentially a good person, just confused and scared; trying to do her best, but just not able to get a hold of herself. He saw me as I wished I could see myself.

None of this became clear to me overnight. Instead, over the next two years, the one-dimensional image of him in my mind began to take the shape of a person. As I let go of my hatred, I gave him a chance. He became an Instructor who, like me, loves The Beatles and drinks a lot of smoothies. We ended up being Master and student team after a couple weeks I ended up winning a martial art competition and got better and better with my instructor.

Three weeks ago, I saw that same Mother Teresa quote again, but this time I smiled, because I finally understood what she meant as I learned from my mistake. Mr. Perez never gave up on me, and the chance he gave me to respect him was a chance that changed my life. Because of this, I know the value of the “chance”, of having faith in a person, of seeing others as they wish they could see themselves. I’m glad I have a lot of time left, because I definitely have a lot of chances left to give, and a lot of people left to love the same way they did to me.