I Now the Reason We Connected by Sean

I Now the Reason We Connected by Sean - October 2019 Scholarship Essay

Her name was Kathleen Maxson. She was my Disabilities Services Coordinator at the
Fashion Institute of Technology, that is, until one day, she was not. At first, she was a person
who made my life easier by linking me with critical resources and helping me get
accommodations. Over time, she was more like a friend because I could rely on her to be kind,
interested, and engaged, even when no one else seemed to be. For me, these moments of human
connection are often life-sustaining.

At the start of this semester, I attempted to make an appointment with her as usual but
discovered that she was no longer on the contact list. I emailed her directly to request an
appointment and received an automated reply directing me to pick another adviser. I decided to
go directly to the office where I was informed that she had passed away. No details were
provided. I was simply left with a feeling of shock. Later that day at the health clinic, my blood
pressure reading was high. I explained to the doctor that I had recently received some upsetting
news. She expressed empathy, stating that everyone was heartbroken over her suicide. That
word shook me to the core because I understood the pull and the struggle.
Her selflessness has become a source of inspiration, she continued to help others even
while she was in so much pain herself. As I and the millions of others like me intimately
understand, the importance of mental health cannot be overstated. Civil rights leader Dorothy
Height once wrote, “We are not a problem people, we are people with problems.” I hold this
beautiful truth in my mind and heart as I try to carve out my own path, reminding myself that I
am part of a much larger story in which mental health is a basic human rights issue. Her life, as
well as her death, has inspired me to keep moving forward and to do my best to see, appreciate,
and uplift others in the process. Her suicide was a real loss for this world because her kindness is
so desperately needed.

Regardless of my study track or career choice, I still have work to do in mental health –
on a personal level, as well as in terms of community education and outreach. Since her death, it
hit me that maybe she needed to receive what she so freely gave. She was 29 at the time of her
death. She was, by all means, accomplished in her field and her obituary correctly described her
as “a passionate advocate for her students.” I will never know what pushed her to end her life,
but I know that I can best remember and honor her by living my own to my fullest potential, as
this is the message she gave to me each time we met. I will miss her dearly, but I will never forget her.