Calculus by Sabrina

Calculus by Sabrina - February 2017 Scholarship Essay

Failure is a foreign concept. It carries such a negative weight with it- is it really that bad? Pushing myself to try my hardest, I’ve always been one to give it my all. I wouldn’t call it perfectionism; it’s proving to myself that I am capable. So when I fail… I refuse to accept it.
My resilience to failure gave me confidence; I was proud of my tenacious attitude. Just a few weeks into my senior year, calculus became my newest obstacle. The material confused me. I devoted my time to studying in preparation for our first exam; flash forward to a few days ago when I got my score back. My first ever C. Studying had always paid off in the past; what happened to me? Did I lose my touch? Am I incapable? Suddenly I wasn’t so sure.
That’s when reality hit me: I’m not perfect. I made a mistake, maybe I’m not the strongest calculus student, but that doesn’t change who I am. I can’t constantly put myself under that much pressure, because at the end of the day- one mistake doesn’t matter. It won’t affect me in the grand scheme of things; mistakes can only teach me. I have to learn when to let go, when to accept my mistakes, and remember to give it all I’ve got. Realizing that I can’t control failure, I’m trying to learn to accept it, learn from it, and challenge myself to be okay with making more mistakes.