The Pros and Cons of Ignoring Organs by Rebecca

The Pros and Cons of Ignoring Organs by Rebecca - August 2014 Scholarship Essay

My heart pounded in my chest, papers quivering between my shaky fingers as I rose and stood at the front of the room. This was the first oral book report I had ever given, and everyone who had gone before me had acted like it was a second nature, revealing complicated plotlines and cliffhangers with wide gestures and even wider smiles. I was dizzy with nervousness as all eyes settled on me.

I have always loved to read, and when I learned we would have to give book reports, I was ecstatic. We hadn't even gone home before I had already started writing what I was going to say. I had thought my speech was brilliant, giving just enough information to hook my classmates in. The day after the report had been assigned I approached my teacher with my speech written on a neon pink note card and asked if it sounded good. She barely glanced up at me.
"You don't want to give away the whole book," she'd said.

I looked down at my note card, dismayed, unsure of whether or not I had given too much away. It had seemed like the perfect synopsis at the time.
That night, I went home, ripped up my old speech, and wrote two lines on a new green note card.

My voice shook as I raised my visual aid, a map I'd traced from the book, and explained that it was a map of a psychiatric facility the characters explored.
"This is a great book," I said. "Anyone who likes to read will love it."

There were my two lines―hardly worthy of wasting a note card for. The class clapped warily as I sat back down and took a deep breath. I knew from the looks on my classmates' faces that my report had gone poorly. I suddenly wished I hadn't listened to my teacher and had read my first speech like I'd wanted.
When my grade came, a solid F, I wasn't surprised. I was just more disappointed in myself that I hadn't trusted my gut and read the first speech.

It wasn't long after that when we moved to a new state. I attended a new school far away from anyone I knew, and suddenly, seventh grade became much easier. With no one to tell me differently, I began trusting my gut like I should have on that book report, and my grades quickly began to rise. It was easier to take risks when I wasn't trying to impress a group of kids I had known for several years, and my grades were proof that the risks were paying off.

As for the book report, I wish I wouldn’t have made a fool of myself and failed the assignment, but without that experience, I wouldn't have learned to trust my gut, and my grades would still be the same low scores they were back in the seventh grade. By failing that book report, I learned to try harder, and with that, I discovered what it felt like to succeed.