Sailing Towards Success by Rebecca

Sailing Towards Success by Rebecca - February 2017 Scholarship Essay

I’m swimming in the frigid water of Lake Washington with the wind howling at my back trying desperately to right my capsized sailboat. Each attempt is another reminder of my failure. I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes with the disappointment I feel in myself. It’s my third year on my high school sailing team but only my first regatta steering the boat (skippering). Before the first race had even started for the weekend, the powerful winds had proved to be too strong for my freshman crew and myself and our boat flipped over. As if this in itself were not humiliating enough, I had so much trouble righting the boat that a safety boat had to come help me. After twenty minutes, the boat was finally upright, and I sailed dejectedly into shore, missing the first two races of the regatta, garnering the disappointment of my teammates, and feeling like an utter failure.

My personality is such that I like to succeed. I perform well in my extracurriculars, in my schoolwork, in forming lasting relationships with my friends and family, and in serving my community. For this reason, failure hits me hard. The experience replays on endless repeat in my head, and I beat myself up mentally when things don’t go according to plan. My failure on Lake Washington occurred in early October of this year and I can still remember every painstaking minute of capsizing, righting the boat, and sailing back to shore as a disappointment to myself. It’s that same mentality which made this failure so humiliating that has allowed me to grow from the experience to where I am today. I am now one of the top skippers on my sailing team. I consistently place in the top three at regattas and am captain of the team. I accredit all of these successes to this failure and the growth that I gained from the experience, not just in sailing but also as a person.

After swimming in Lake Washington and wallowing in self-hatred and disappointment, I developed a steely resolve. This resolve began to formulate as I sat on shore and watched everyone race while I warmed up from the cold. Before long, I had convinced myself that it didn’t matter if I got last in all the races. I was going to set a goal to get back out on the water and at the very least finish those races. My crew and I sailed back to the start and finished every race for the rest of the regatta. Our results may have been poor, but setting this small goal after my failure allowed me to feel like I had accomplished something magnificent. The next week at practice, I made it my goal to place in the top half during practice races. The week after, I made it my goal to finish top three in a practice race. Eventually, these small goals and small achievements accumulated. Two months after my disastrous capsize, I placed in the top three overall at a competitive regatta. This failure which had been utterly mortifying had given me the strength and the insight into the steps which had led to my success.

This experience has been humbling and incredibly useful. Before this experience, I tried to hide my failures and because of this I was never able to grow from them. I had too much pride and desire for perfection to be able to reflect on moments where I wasn’t at my best. Turning this failure into a route for success has allowed me to see the merit and immense value in reflection upon failure. I may have a drive to succeed, but this cannot get me anywhere without an acceptance and an ability to build upon failures. Because of my failure, I am able to take a bad test grade in school, or a rejection from a college, or a struggle in organizing an extracurricular and take steps towards improvement. Because of my failure, I am resilient.