Invisible Disability by Rachel

Invisible Disability by Rachel - March 2014 Scholarship Essay

Sitting in the classroom, everyone is quiet and on task. The classroom door slowly starts to open and my instincts go into high alert. I don’t want to look. I know who it is without even casting my eyes towards them. In my peripheral vision, I see my classmates stop working to look at the individual. The footsteps approach me as time stands still. I don’t want what’s coming, I didn’t ask for it nor did I do anything wrong. The person is now standing directly next to me. I can feel her clothing touching my arm; I pretend to work furiously hoping they will not interrupt me. ”Come on Rachel, it’s time to go.” I stand, not making eye contact with anyone. I walk out of the room as quickly as I can as I feel the stares from my friends as they continue to look. Their thoughts pound my brain making me feel insecure, stupid, and an outsider. I vow to one day end this torment; I vow not to let the looks shatter my self-esteem; I vow to rise above it all.

I started in Special Education classes when I was in first grade being diagnosed with a visual processing disorder. Being clumsy is a small part of my disability. I miss the seat when I sit down, I sit the glass on the edge of the counter letting it fall off, and I trip over the curb. These are things I laugh at along with my friends. What cut me to my inner core was when my friends would laugh at me because I couldn’t read or do math as well as them. When I entered middle school I met my savior, Ms. Bascom, my Resource Teacher. She told me that with a lot of hard work and perseverance, I would be able to adapt to my disability and be successful. She took my crumbled self-esteem, laid it flat on the table, and slowly started ironing out all the wrinkles.

The most important thing she taught me was how to be in control of my learning disability and not let the disability be in control of me. Ms. Bascom taught me tricks for math. By reading more, I actually started to enjoy it. By the end of eighth grade I had my final IEP, yes I said my final. They had retested me and I was no longer qualified for Special Education Services! I have never felt so successful and accomplished in my life. I still have to work twice has hard as my peers but that has only taught me that hard work pays off. I have been so successful in high school that I’ve received the scholar athlete award and Principals Honor Roll. Having a learning disability and going through resource classes has helped me to decide my future career. I aspire to be a life skill teacher and help others learn how to adapt to their disabilities so they can be productive members in their communities. Making my students feel positive about their selves and showing them that having a disability is just an ability to look at the world a different way is two of the things I want to teach my students. I will be able to accomplish this when I receive my degree.

At California State University-Fresno, I hope to work towards my goal of making students feel positive about their selves by obtaining my Master’s Degree in Special Education with an emphasis on mild to moderate disabilities and a Minor Degree in Deaf Studies. With these degrees I will become a Life Skills Instructor at the elementary school level. Working with individuals with intellectual disabilities is my passion in life. I have already taken steps toward my career in this field. For the past two years I have been fortunate to be able to Intern at our local schools in their Life Skills programs. Being able to be in a classroom and help set up lessons has shown me that I made the correct career choice.

Community service is another way in which I have been able to work toward my career goal. Jr. Coaching for the Special Olympics has changed my life. Being able to help these inspirational individuals build endurance and learn new skill is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done in my life. To see the humongous smile on their face when they finished a race or to see the determination when they are trying to win is something that can’t be put into words; it has to be experienced. As Winston Churchill said,” We make a living by what we do, but we make a life by what we give.” I hope to give of myself at my job and through my community to help others feel independent to the best of their abilities. I want to be a Ms. Bascom .