Suffering and Change: My Journey to Happiness by Nora

Suffering and Change: My Journey to Happiness by Nora - February 2014 Scholarship Essay

The thing I love (and fear) most about the world is that it changes constantly. The first of Siddhartha Gautama’s Noble Truths translates to “There is suffering,” or even simpler, “Suffering is,” but some Buddhists translate it differently, interpreting it as “There is change.” Impermanence is an important concept in Buddhism and many other religions because the constant changing of situations and circumstances can be confusing and worrisome, especially to people who have adjusted well to a particular circumstance. Change, though, isn’t always just annoying or unwanted; it can be terrifying. I am on a mission, however, to embrace fluidity wholeheartedly, to be more welcoming of the change that each new day brings, and to realize life for the adventure it is.

Peace is, at a very basic level, something we all crave for ourselves; whether we think we can accomplish peace by buying a new car, impressing our schoolmates or co-workers, or marrying into an upper echelon of society, we all tend to work toward things that we think will make us happy and content. For the past few years, I have struggled to define and reach peace within myself; I struggled throughout school with confidence, body image, unnecessary anxiety, weight, and an inordinate amount of stress I put on myself to perform well in school. It was not until the end of my junior year, however, that I confronted myself about the stress I was putting on myself. I wasn’t able to enjoy myself with friends; I didn’t like to look at myself in the mirror; I was gaining weight and developing serious insomnia that made me feel exhausted during the day. On top of all this, my search for the “right” college was beginning, and my friends, teachers, parents, and mentors were all pushing me in the direction they thought fit for me. I didn’t have a chance to speak for myself, which only added to the anxiety that I might make the wrong choice and end up feeling even more dismal than I did. Only when I confronted myself about the whirlwind of fear and anxiety that rushed through me could I begin to make positive changes.

Gradually, I began to stop reaching for the Doritos when I felt that I was too stressed. I started working out every day, including a lot of yoga, which may well be the best discovery I’ve ever made. I set regular sleep patterns for myself until I started being able to fall asleep before 2 or 3 a.m., and now I get 7-8 hours of sleep a night. After months of wringing my hands, I finally talked to my parents about what I wanted in a school, not what they wanted for me. By the time my first day of senior year rolled around, I felt happy and healthy for the first time in as long as I could remember. Because my mind was no longer cluttered by unnecessary, petty anxieties, I could turn my focus inward and examine, as the college application process began, what I really wanted to get out of life. Although abstractly at first, my ideas for the future began to take shape.

I want to apply what I learn in college to make a positive difference. I want to work toward peace between cultures and religions. I believe the majority of violence stems from ignorance and misunderstanding, so the first step toward peace is to recognize this ignorance in order to dissipate it with knowledge. My goal is to travel around the world telling the stories of people who do not yet have a loud enough voice to make themselves heard—women who deserve and have been cheated of an education, farmers whose land has been taken by the government, and citizens who are being denied basic rights, for example. I think everyone has a story to be told, and we must learn to stop judging other people just because they are “other.” People can overcome any boundary if they are open-minded, and I would like to start a movement to open people’s minds—to inspire a more cooperative spirit between people. I have hope that my generation can lay the foundation for lasting peace, but we have a lot of work to do.

I have big goals for the future, but I am confident that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. I hope to meet people who are like me—who have goals but are flexible to allow for the challenges life throws our way; who are hopeful but realistic; who are curious and intellectual; who are fun and know how to balance school and a social life—and make lasting friends or even people who share my mission of making the world a totally awesome place to live. I will strive to excel, for with the gift of opportunity comes great responsibility, and this opportunity I will not take lightly.