Emotion and Social Processing by Nikki

Emotion and Social Processing by Nikki - August 2015 Scholarship Essay

Emotion and Social Processing

By: Nikai Clark

We are all taught from the time of our birth, to think, to solve and to learn by participating and interacting with our surrounding environments. As children, we are taught to learn how to control ourselves and that it is not socially acceptable to do and say everything we may want to. As adolescents, we are expected to think for ourselves and to become individuals who can solve complex mathematical and scientific problems, producing solutions to intricate conundrums. Like the old adage says, “Reading, Writing, and Arithmetic.” That’s what it’s all about! Or is it?

As a psychology major (and a human being) one thing that I’ve noticed these days is a lack of compassion. Society teaches us to GO, GO, GO and that it’s a Dog Eat Dog world out there. Doing what we have to do to stay one step ahead of the game has become a necessity. Schools teach us proper theorems to use when solving geometric formulas, but they don’t teach us the proper steps for expressing our feelings, learning how to effectively communicate with one another, or learning how to deal with our emotions. Schools teach us how to succeed academically, but what about succeeding emotionally?

In today’s society, talking to someone about the way we feel inside can be seen as a major weakness, because it carries with it the stigma of being crazy or unstable. Before they can even walk, little boys are told not to cry and that signs of vulnerability don’t belong to ‘big boys’. No one person ever really wants to admit when they’re feeling blue and usually cover it up with an “I’m fine”. (I bet you’ve used that one a time or two, haven’t you?) And don’t even THINK about telling anyone that you’re actually seeing a therapist! Oh, the horror!
My question to this quarry is ‘Why’? Why is talking to someone seen as such a shortcoming?

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) an astounding 2 million adolescents in the United States attempt suicide each year. In the year 2000, suicide was the third leading cause of death among young adults aged 15-24, with the highest rate in the 20 to 24-age range. These statistics point to a harsh reality: after having the stability of high school taken away and facing the real world for the first time, a lot of these young adults could not effectively function. But, can you imagine the difference that could be made if these kids weren’t scared or embarrassed to talk to someone; if there wasn’t such a nasty shame associated with asking for help?

That’s why, if I could add any subject to the American high school curriculum, it would be an Emotion and Social Processing class (ESP). ESP would be a required course starting in elementary school. Students would attend classes (both group and individual) on a daily basis. ESP would teach the student how to address their emotions, feelings and thoughts and how to effectively communicate with others. Young adults have a lot to deal with these days, including teenage pregnancy, bullying, physical and/or mental disabilities, one-parent homes, divorce, domestic abuse-- all while being expected to excel in their studies. That’s definitely a tall order! So, why not help those who need it, before it’s too late? Why not start these teachings at an early age so that kids realize that it’s OK to talk to someone, and to share your feelings and thoughts with them? Why not hear that cry for help, before it becomes a scream of desperation?

After a tragedy such as a suicide, the comments heard time and time again start to sound like a broken record:

“He seemed like such a nice kid…. He was quiet and didn’t really have any friends…. He stayed to himself a lot….”

If this kid was taught at a young age how to handle his emotions, thoughts and feelings while simultaneously being taught his reading, writing and arithmetic, I believe these horrific events could be avoided. According to Jonathan Fink, medical writer and editor for AboutKidsHealth, “…. reacting to negative events rather than promoting positive ones seems to be the way we behave as a species even though intuitively the opposite approach makes more sense”. I believe that incorporating a program such as ESP directly into the curriculum would ensure that all students would have access to this vital information.

ESP classes wouldn’t be just for students who had a hard time adjusting, either. It would be just as useful to students who were already doing well in academics, by incorporating Positive Psychology techniques such as focusing on more favorable emotions, identifying strengths of character and exercising social problem solving skills. Martin Seligman, founder of Positive Psychology, emphasizes the importance of these teachings in his article, ‘Positive Education: Positive Psychology and Classroom Interventions’.

“The schooling of children has, for more than a century, been about accomplishment, the boulevard into the world of adult work. I am all for accomplishment, success, literacy, and discipline; but imagine if schools could, without compromising either, teach both the skills of well-being and the skills of achievement. Imagine Positive Education”.