Fighting Through it All by Nicole

Fighting Through it All by Nicole - February 2017 Scholarship Essay

For one to truly fail, they must first struggle, only then will they know how to succeed. As a word that relies on ever-changing circumstances, "struggle" can have several different meanings. Some might see a struggle as a simple obstacle, others might consider it to be a lifetime battle. Truth be told, there is no way to define a word without concrete meaning. While it might lead to failure, these challenges that we face lead to the most important lessons you will learn. My biggest struggle in life has always been speaking up, and expressing myself proudly. With my goal to become an educator, I knew that this was a hurdle that I had to overcome. Over several years in school, throughout many failed attempts, I have finally found my voice. There is a process to finding success; attempt and fail, become determined to try again, and learn from the past mistakes.

I was coming into a new school, in fact, in the middle of 6th grade at Northwood. Many of these people have known each other for months, if not more. For a while, I was shy, secluded, and quiet. When it came a time that I needed to speak up, you could hear the shaking sound of my voice and the occasional stumble on my words. The overall awkwardness that I expressed made it even harder for me to make friends. I tried to show off my true colors, the spark that I knew was hidden away somewhere. Nothing ever seemed to work out quite right for me. Spending most of my middle school years hidden away in that silence, and only opening up to a select few, I felt a sense of disconnection to my peers. It wasn't until the end of 8th grade that it occurred to me that I was not alone, and it just took one person to start a chain reaction.

The class of 2017 was ready to face a new challenge: high school. However, some of us happened to be more ready than others. I was still in that stage of not wanting to let my voice out. At the same time, there was a feeling of excitement coming face to face with an opportunity to change my image. Starting high school was a struggle in of itself. We had to learn how to adapt to the new environment, new people, and harder classes. I still had my mind set on one ultimate goal; be heard. Once used to high school, I decided to take a huge leap forward and leave all aspects of my comfort zone. The S.T.A.R mentoring program was created to help middle school students transition comfortably into high school. This was my chance. I enrolled into the program as a sophomore, and it finally happened. Instead of being the one to listen quietly and keep my opinions to myself, I was the one who assisted others and gave them a safe environment to speak up comfortably. I created an image for myself that could be described as confident, helpful, and a leader. What was once my biggest fear, became my strongest trait. The next few years were full of mentoring, tutoring, school clubs, teacher assistant, and even choir. My days of hiding in the shadows were over.

Every challenge that I faced along the way helped shape me into the person I am today. Throughout the embarrassment, the teasing, and the fear to speak out, emerged a new me. This version of myself is outspoken to say the least. I learned that you cannot let something like other peoples opinions control you. If I listened to every bit of criticism that was directed towards me, there wouldn’t be a chance for me to change for the one person who it matters for most: myself. Regardless of the impact that my change had on my community and peers, this was a change meant to improve my future. Whatever lies ahead of me will bring forth new challenges and new obstacles. Being able to share my thoughts with others, have meaningful conversations, and speak up confidently will forever be the most important thing I could have done for myself.