Invisible to Invincible by Natalie

Invisible to Invincible by Natalie - May 2021 Scholarship Essay

“She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails” (Elizabeth Edwards). This quote speaks to me as a student who was faced with and overcame obstacles and adversity. I was honored to be invited to take the admissions test to one of the most prestigious high schools in the area, and was ecstatic when I was accepted. During this process, my dad was also offered - and accepted - a teaching and coaching position. We would both become Vikings. While I had envisioned high school as being the best four years of my life, and was excited to meet new people and make new friends, I quickly learned that being the “new girl” in a small, private school full of kids who had grown up together would be more difficult than I had imagined.
My expectations of attending a faith-based high school were far from reality. Though I anticipated being welcomed with open arms, and hoped that my volleyball teammates would provide me with a sisterhood, I quickly realized that this dream bore little resemblance to my new normal. I had assumed I would spend time meeting new people and trying to find my “tribe.” But as time progressed, I just wasn’t connecting. It seemed as though I didn't fit in with anyone. Instead of hanging out with classmates before school, I would wait in my car for the bell to ring. Instead of having lunch with teammates, I ate in the nurse's office or in my dad's classroom. I began to wonder if there was something wrong with me. Why didn't anyone want to be my friend? I was nice to everyone, and I never wanted anyone to feel left out. But here I was, seemingly invisible.
The night before my junior year began, a realization hit me like a ton of bricks: I did not want to return to my school with it’s halls of familiar-looking strangers. But volleyball tryouts had concluded, our season would commence in three days, and school was to begin in eight very short hours. I spent the entire evening in tears, and begged my parents to allow me stay home. Of course, that wasn’t an option, and within a few days, I realized that nothing was going to change. I was still invisible and feeling lonelier than ever. Despite my misery, I managed to persevere, completing the semester with excellent grades, winning stats on the volleyball court and the awareness that this renowned school was not the place for me.
As Christmas break wound down, the feelings of panic and dread of returning to the place I didn’t belong washed over me, once again. So in the middle of my junior year, I made the difficult decision to put my fear aside and change schools. Well-meaning friends and family members shared their concerns and cautioned me that the proverbial grass wasn’t always greener. Some even said that I should “stick it out and learn how to persevere.” But after two-and-a-half years of feeling invisible, I felt I already knew the meaning of perseverance.
So, off I went to a huge, public school. It has been, without a doubt, the best decision I ever made. Complete strangers welcomed and accepted me immediately and I had more new friendships within a week than I’d ever had a my former school. Through this difficult journey, I have learned that expectations are often preconceived disappointments. I’ve also found that my genuine care and concern for others may not always be reciprocated. Although frightening, change is inevitable and this challenge has taught me that there are no obstacles that are insurmountable if you believe in yourself.