The Impact of My Childhood Dreams by Molly

The Impact of My Childhood Dreams by Molly - June 2017 Scholarship Essay

When I was young, I was full of aspirations. Fresh faced, sheltered from the world.. I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. My answer then was that I wanted to be a ballerina. They were graceful, donning pink tulle and toes pointed. Everything looked so effortless. I adored the way they spun on stage and smiled at the crowd like they knew they were being enjoyed. Of course, as I grew older, I became a little more grounded, and a little more realistic with what I wanted in life, but a little part of that has always shaped who I am and the way I handle life.

Currently, I would like to attend college as a psychology major. My goal is to become a therapist because I would like to aid those with mental illnesses through talking and taking one step at a time as opposed to instantly putting them on prescription pills. I understand that there is no real ‘cure’ for depression and that sometimes anxiety medicine really is required, but I would like to help patients lessen their issues naturally so they don’t have to rely on drugs as much.

One of the ways my goals as a child has shaped this is because it has left me hopeful. Despite knowing I won’t be a ballerina as an adult, the same hope that was instilled in me when I dressed up as a ballerina for Halloween. My goals stray a little from societal norms that believe prescribed medicine can be the best form of help we can give, but that will not prevent me from working hard and throwing myself into research to test out my own beliefs. For example, as a part of my IB requirements, a list of things I must complete as part of a program I am in that prepares me for college, I must write a 4,000 word essay on a topic. I was advised to do something that interests me or something that will benefit my future, and I chose to write about the psychology of color and its effects on the human mind. Something I learned from the research I conducted for the paper was that red can often have a very violent effect on the mind, or create alertness. This shows me that in my future, I should stray away from that in my environment, or try to somehow work calmer colors into my therapy sessions. I have a plethora of ideas for my future, and the hope that I will one day impact someone’s life or help them, even in the smallest sense, will never fade, even if it is a little out of touch with reality.

Another way my goals as a child affected me was through the fact that it left me ambitious. To not give up. This has moreso impacted my work ethic and drive than it has anything else. I will admit to a flaw I have that can prove to be fatal if I don’t actively work against it— I can be extremely lazy. When schoolwork begins to pile up, a wave of anxiousness will rise within me and sometimes, I will shamefully let it stay there for weeks. Sophomore year, I ended my second semester of physics barely hanging onto a C because of this. However, Junior year, I became a lot more proactive and productive. I remembered the perseverance I had as a child, the persistence I used when my father hadn’t originally let me take dance classes. I begged for weeks, watched videos every day, even at 6 I wanted to get something and I put my mind to it. Eventually, I did get it. Now, at 16, just 10 years later, I do the same. I work on a schedule, planning out my weeks and my days by the hour. Of course, I don’t forget to give myself some leisure time, but knowing the difficulty and the amount of competition there is in my field, I do have to work hard, even though I am still just in high school. I stay one step ahead of my laziness so I don’t fall behind, and I plan on doing the same during Senior year. Even during the summer, I don’t like to give myself too much resting time. I would prefer to volunteer, or go to the gym, or even do some leisure reading instead of laying in bed all the time.

The impact that our childhood has on us can sometimes go by unnoticed, but when we take the time to reflect, we can realize that it was little things that affected us. Our experiences and our differing goals as we grow older can change the course of our life, but the initial foundation was set through childhood. My desire to be a ballerina affected me through the fact that it instilled perseverance and hope in me, and my educational career has shown just that. Being proactive in my life choices and taking the time to realize who I am and why I am is one of the more important, but overlooked aspects of my life. I work endlessly to fix that.