Finding Treasure in Despair by Miriam

Finding Treasure in Despair by Miriam - February 2017 Scholarship Essay

I’ve known for a long time that life would be hard, and that I would need to work on my own to achieve whatever I wanted.
I was very young when my parents divorced. I didn’t remember the fighting, yelling, and confusion that came with my parents saying they didn't love each other anymore. All I remember was going back and forth from mom’s house to dad’s house. The closest thing I ever saw to happy, fairy-tale families were my friends and neighbors.
I learned at a young age that no relationship is perfect. Being from a divorced family can be an advantage. You learn that things will not always go your way, such as hearing “no” more than “yes” when beginning your career. Loving parents may give you permission to do things, compared to hearing “no” more than “yes” in households with separate rules. Because my dad lived far away, it was difficult to get together with friends for school activities. Living in separate houses meant that I could get away with things at mom’s house that might get me grounded at my dad’s house.
Now that I am older, I can look back at life in two households and anticipate painful future truths. Being from a divorced family may not necessarily be a curse, but a helpful wake-up call to what the real world may be like.
I probably first realized that I was not alone in my suffering by comparing my life to that of my friends. My routine was going to class, doing my homework, and going home. But one day, in 1st period JROTC, my whole composure crumbled. The previous week I had gotten into a huge fight with my mom. Words that couldn’t be retracted were spoken, but I had found solace in my dad’s house over the weekend. Because I had completely wrecked my relationship with my mom, I was ridden with anxiety and grief, knowing that I would have to face her later that day after school. I started to break down in JROTC class in the middle of attendance formation, and ran to the bathroom. A few minutes later my company XO and commander, both whom I now consider to be great friends, followed me into the restroom. After a long explanation, lots of tears, our unorthodox conversation turned into a contest of seeing whose parents were the worse. That’s when I realized that I’m not the only person who comes to school bearing incredible emotional hardships. I have come to find solace in school which has become a safe place between my two houses and their baggage.
As I grow older life becomes more manageable, and I can trade stress into the anticipation of a more hopeful future. I have learned to find treasure in the heap of despair. My journey might be long, and I know that life might be hard, but I will be able to do whatever I will need to achieve my goals.