Who and What Will Determine Who You are Going to Be? by Michelle

Who and What Will Determine Who You are Going to Be? by Michelle - November 2013 Scholarship Essay

High school: Full of drama, dances, football games, countless tests and discoveries. Four years are spent preparing you for the future, for the rest of your life. The question: what truly matters in those four years? Is it who you date, what sports you played, or how many clubs you were in? No, no and no. None of these things really matter when you step on the stage at graduation. The thing that really matters and the lesson I have learned during my four years is this: who are you? High school has taught me a lot but the most important lesson I have learned is figuring out if I really know myself.

Entering high school as a freshman, you get to start over. You get a fresh start and get to leave behind the past 7 years of school. That is if you want to; it is all up to you. When I was a freshman I decided to stay on the safe side. I sat with the same girls I knew from middle school and made sure I was never out of my “group”. That year I was defined by the people around me, not as an individual. Being a clueless freshman, this did not bother me. I was making good grades, started on the JV volleyball team and had close guy friends. That was all though, I had no idea who I was outside of those areas of my life. I was comfortable and felt very secure, that was until sophomore year.

Suddenly, the girls I knew were moving away, I hated volleyball and boy were too confusing to deal with. For the first semester I felt extremely awkward and out of place. Second semester I decided to make some choices and change my situation. Some of the changes benefited me greatly but others were stupid and destructive. I was very confused and realized I was very alone. The next year more girls moved away and I became even more alone so I decided to fix my destructive decisions. Thankfully the friendship I had destroyed was easily mended and I easily consider the person my best friend. After two years of searching for my identity as a high school student I finally figured it out. Nothing I though was of any value was worth more than dust. Friendships, true friendships are what truly matters in life. I finally decided that I wanted to be a person who did not have the perfect group of friends but genuine ones.

While this realization was a good one, it was not the only one I needed. Even though I finally found friends, I was a horribly person who did not deserve friends. It took me the rest of my junior year to see who I really was. I was someone who wanted good grades but did not want to help others succeed. I wanted to graduate and earn lots of money so that I could be happy. After graduation I could care less what happened to anyone else. I was in it all for myself. Senior year, my final year, has been a different story though. I desire to see my friends get into their dream college and hope it is not hours away from where I might be. Even though it took my almost four years, I have realized who I am and I am satisfied with the final product.

While most people I know define themselves by how much money they have, what lunch table they sit at or how high their GPA is, but not me. I do not want to be known by any of these things. It took four years but high school finally taught me that I needed to figure out who I want to be. I want to be remembered as what kind of person I am. Am I someone who looks for others needing a friend or am I only looking out for myself? Who am I really? Whatever the answer is, I first have to decide if I want to even ask the question. And that is what high school has taught me.