From a Caterpillar to a Butterfly by Mercedes

From a Caterpillar to a Butterfly by Mercedes - April 2021 Scholarship Essay

Five years ago, it was 2016, and I was a Freshman in College. I was studying Musical Theatre and dealing with a lot of personal trauma. I was also bottling up my emotions and trying to be who I thought people wanted me to be. Looking back, five years seems like ages ago. I have changed and grown so much since then. And there are a few things I had wish I had known back then.

One of the first pieces of advice I would have given myself would be to put myself first. I held a lot of things in and tried to please others and make others happy. I would tell myself that it's okay to be vulnerable and to be yourself. Those who are worth being around will accept you for who you are. It also accomplishes nothing to hold everything in. It's like putting mentos in diet coke and closing the lid. Over time there will be so much pressure inside that it will explode. That doesn't help anyone. Use your past and learn from it and inspire others. Even though you feel alone, I can promise you that you are not. There are millions and millions of people out in the world who feel the same as you and need some inspiration or someone to look up to.

My second advice would be not to be ashamed of who you are or feel like you somehow deserved things that happened to you. That's not true in the slightest. No matter how cliche it is, it's true "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." All of that energy you are channeling to hide away and avoid things could be used on more productive things like; school, friends, family, hobbies, work.

My third and final advice to myself would be to have fun and embrace every opportunity that comes your way. Always try to find something positive in your life even when everything seems dark and scary. Some of the best, most fulfilling moments of your life come from the darkest and most difficult parts. At the very least, they are the results. By finding the positive in your life, you are able to focus on the good. It is incredibly easy to focus solely on the bad, and that gets you nowhere. It's much harder to focus on the good, but I can promise you it is worth it.

From 2016 to now in 2021, I have grown so much in knowledge and the physical sense and emotionally. I have lived through plenty of horrendous events, a pandemic, losing a baby, and so much more. It took five years to become the person I am today, like a caterpillar going into a chrysalis and emerging a butterfly. I have become the butterfly. Reflecting on all of this now, I don't think the previous advice is what I would give at all. While it's all excellent advice, it wouldn't give me the time I needed to grow into the butterfly I have become.

I think I would rather say, keep doing what you're doing. I know it's hard, but I promise you it will be worth it. It's the reason we are who we are today. There will be dark spots; I'm not going to lie. But you'll get through it, and in the end, we will become the butterfly we were always meant to be. And we will continue to grow and go on to inspire many more caterpillars along the way so that they, too, can transform and emerge into their own butterfly.

*Together, we will all become butterflies and help change the world—one caterpillar at a time.*