From Academically Hopeless to an Aspiring Scholar by Melanie

From Academically Hopeless to an Aspiring Scholar by Melanie - July 2014 Scholarship Essay

I recall early in my sophomore year in college being in the dean of students' office and stating, "I give up on all life and humanity at this point." In response, the dean chuckled a little. From the beginning of my college career to the middle of my junior year, I did hold on to those thoughts of giving up on society. I felt alienated and unwanted by my college community and didn't value my education as a result. The only driving reason that prevented me from dropping out of college were my goals of being a successful independent individual.

Between the fall and spring semesters of my junior year, I talked to a professor I had a course with during my freshman year. Freshman year was very difficult for me socially, but I managed to obtain an A- in her class. The professor offered to work with me and co-write a paper for an academic journal as part of an independent study for college credit. Although I was very nervous I agreed and together we worked on studying whether the Americans' with Disabilities Act needed to go beyond compliance to meet the needs of students with hidden disabilities. We are still working on the project together and the editor of the journal already gave us a deadline for our manuscript.

I'm a blunt person, and I'm going to be honest with myself. Before spring 2014, I was a bum of a student who felt unmotivated, useless in the world, and was an emotional wreck. However, after raising my GPA and receiving a 3.11 for the spring 2014, it occurred to me that I do have the potential to do well and that I don't give up on humanity as a whole. This professor didn't revive my hope in myself and my society because she gave me an A for this independent study. She revived my hope because I found that I do have a passion for education and disability studies. Even though we are in a higher education setting, when I struggled, she took time to understand me and asked me what she could do to make the load of work easier on me. At first, this confused me, because I always believed that professors cannot accommodate in place of academic rigor, but she showed me that you can have both.

Now I'm a senior at The College of New Jersey still working on the submitting the manuscript to Disability Studies Quarterly. Before becoming a senior, I always thought I would graduate with a bachelor's of arts in psychology and get out of higher education as soon as possible. But now, I want to go to graduate school and get a master's or certificate in disability studies. I hope to further my education in the field. Although I have affirmed I want to get out of the mental health field, I found a new home in a new field. Although this is not an immediate concern of mine, doctoral programs are in my peripheral. I am very grateful to this professor. She has helped me tremendously through that one semester than counseling services and student affairs has throughout my college career.