Being Weak by Mary

Being Weak by Mary - October 2021 Scholarship Essay

The lights were off and the windows were covered. Everything was surrounded by darkness, except for my face that was lit by the light from my laptop. I was wrapped in blankets, wearing the comfiest pajamas I had. I had been laying in my bed, in the same spot from when I came back from getting something to eat. I was reading one of my favorite manga, Black Clover, by Yūki Tabata.
Because of Covid, schools were closed and I was stuck at home all day. Since I had nothing to do, I decided that I was just going to stay in bed and read mang all day. However, since I did not have the book, I had to read it online from my laptop. There was this one character that stood out to me and his name was Fuegoleon. He was a very strong and motivating character. While reading the book, there was a certain line he said that stood out to me. He says, “Being weak is nothing to be ashamed of. Staying weak is”. When I read this, it felt like it changed everything.
This was the first time I heard that there is nothing wrong with starting off weak. I have always felt like if I was not perfect from the beginning then I was a failure. For example, in school, if I could not master a subject on the first try, then I was a stupid idiot. This kind of thinking led me to struggle with anxiety and develop a fear of failure. However, when I read this, I felt like there was change happening in me. And while it did not happen overnight, I slowly stopped expecting myself to be perfect at everything. When I was learning how to juggle, I was nowhere near perfect at the beginning. I even had to start off with only one ball, even though juggling required three. Since I was not expecting perfection, the process of learning was not stressful and I even enjoyed it. Even though I was really bad at the beginning, I kept working hard and now I can juggle three balls. This line that this character changed my life and I will always keep it in my mind.