Not so Plain and Simple by Mariesa

Not so Plain and Simple by Mariesa - June 2017 Scholarship Essay

“My kind of town Chicago is!” I sang from my car seat in the middle row of my mom’s truck. She would look at me in the rear view mirror laughing and smiling as I sang my favorite song at the top of my little lungs. She tells me that even then she knew I was going to have a nice singing voice. I always knew I wanted to be a singer, honestly I think I just wanted to be Frank Sinatra in general. The idea of performing on stage and a crowd roaring with love and applause could literally make me cry. 6-year-old me just wanted to be a singer when she grew up, plain and simple.

Except, it’s not so plain and simple. “Dad, I think I want to go to school to be a singer when I’m older.” I remember saying to my dad in the car on the way home one day when I was 10. He responded by telling me to be a doctor or a lawyer. That wasn’t what I wanted to be though, and I didn’t understand why he didn’t get that. I had notebooks on notebooks filled with short song writing attempts all over my room, couldn’t he see that I was serious? When I was 11, I was finally in middle school, and I got to join the choir, boy was I in for a surprise. There were about 30 6th graders in the choir room hoping to get a spot. I thought, ‘does everyone want to be a singer?’

When I was 12, I met a new group of girls at school. We would gossip, have sleepovers, and tell each other secrets. Eventually I worked up all the courage in my tiny body to tell them “one day I’m going to be a famous singer.” They didn’t laugh at me when I told them. Instead, they all sat down in front of me and convinced me to sing for them. I sang a Hilary Duff song, and they went crazy. The all hugged me and told me they thought I was amazing. One of the girls even would record me singing her favorite song at the time and set it as her ringtone. I felt like I could do anything, and that I really could be a famous singer one day. That is until high school rolled around.

At 14 years old I was finally a freshmen in high school. We got to pick two electives, and of course I picked vocal performance. On my first day of class the teacher had seniors sing for all of the new students. That was the day I realized that I was only an okay singer. Two girls got up in front of the class and belted their songs like there was no tomorrow. I sat there with my mouth gaping; I needed to sing like them. I had my mom find out where they took private singing lessons from, and she took me for an audition the next week. Lauren Greco was their private coaches name, she told me seconds after I auditioned that I got a spot, she was the 3rd person to see something in me.

My junior year I took vocal performance again, 17 years old now. I decided that this year I would challenge myself. I picked songs to perform for my class that were out of my comfort zone. One day I performed ‘Almost lover’ by A Fine Frenzy, and the students in my class cried. It wasn’t a bad thing however, they told me that the way I interpreted the song gave them chills, and that they believed every word I sang. I will never forget that day. Fall cabaret rolled around, which meant that for a grade I had to sing in front of a real audience, full of teachers and parents and some students. After the cabaret was over, the Athletic director approached my mom, and asked her if I would sing the National Anthem for some of the sporting events. That was my favorite year.

Now, I’m 20 years old, and I finally understand that wanting to be a singer, and actually being a singer are two very different things. I was one singer, in one town; I hadn’t fully realized that there are millions of towns, with millions of singers. Except, even now I just don’t feel like any other singer. I’ve learned however, not to put all my eggs in one basket. I plan to go to college and earn my accounting degree, while singing on the side. In the end this worked out nicely for me. I always loved going to math class throughout school, I would even ask my friends to let me do their math homework for fun. 6-year-old me wanted to be a singer, and 20 year old me plans to make that happen. Even if I have to wait a couple years to support myself, I will one day make that happen.