The Advice That I Would've Given Myself 5 Years Ago by Mariana

The Advice That I Would've Given Myself 5 Years Ago by Mariana - April 2021 Scholarship Essay

5 years ago I was the shy, young girl who was never willing to open up to others because of my nervous thoughts. No matter the situation, even if it was just hanging out with my own team, in the back of my mind there were always whispers of self-doubt that reminded me of my insecurities. I felt like I was stuck, trapped within my own head of insufficiency. Like chains of worry constantly holding me down, I became too aware and self-conscious of what possible impressions I gave to others. These thoughts caused me to become hesitant in making my own decisions, lose the confidence to create new relationships, and allow the social anxiety to plague my mind from every corner. I could easily hide this anxiety with smiles, but I truly was just a small child confined in a room who couldn’t get past the obstacle of low self-esteem.
Looking back on myself now, I know that I suffered from loneliness on many occasions and longed for a different personality. I always stuck to myself since I had feared rejection, but I never truly experienced it because I always avoided the chance. Based on my experiences, the advice I would’ve given myself 5 years ago would be that you are not alone in life. Everyone experiences their own versions of self-doubt, but if you let it overcome you then there will only be regret from the failed opportunities at being happy. I chose this piece of advice because the cautious life that I guarded myself within was what caused this notion of feeling cut off from others. 5 years ago I always felt that I was locked away, but in reality I just never took the steps to turn the knob and open the door that I desired to get past. This advice recognizes that flaw and pushes my past self to realize that they aren’t the only one that has these thoughts or feelings. This advice would’ve stopped my past self from continuing with self pity and instead try to change my reality by becoming more confident at speaking my mind or becoming more comfortable with the people who surround me. Despite sounding like common advice to hear, it can open the eyes of my past self. To help me try reaching that similar point that others have made, of overcoming their own challenges.
I hope that with this advice my past self will experience the true thrills of life. To be able to look back on many memorable moments that I have been able to experience today. Having more confidence in my past self of five years, the more chances I can have to step out of my comfort zone and create those long-lasting connections. This advice may seem like an out-of-reach mentality, but as time moves on the more my past self will continue to grow and learn with that mentality. This means that my words of direction will help out in the long run which is why I specifically chose to give this advice to the person I was 5 years ago.