6 Year Old Me by Margaret

6 Year Old Me by Margaret - June 2017 Scholarship Essay

For some reason the age 6 does not ring a bell. As if I skipped from 5 to 7 and I can’t remember anything in-between. But what else can I want to be if ever since I can remember, hiding under the blankets, holding my breath until the screaming fights end. Holding my mom’s hand while she cries and feeling completely alone when my dad would threaten to leave us without any money. Telling myself one day, I will be her hero.

My childhood was survival mode. Instead of daydreaming of becoming a model, a doctor, or a fashion designer. I was more concerned when food would magically appear in the refrigerator. Being raised in an environment, even to this day, where simple tasks seem to be impossible, there are two possible outcomes for the child. Those are to either to be afraid their entire life, closed off and never change the situation. Or, there's the other side, the one where all the anger fuels their drive to make something of themselves. I chose the second version, because at least then, there is a happy ending.

It wasn’t until I was forced to leave my childhood hometown and. placed in the middle of nowhere, Florida. At that moment, I realized I was completely isolated, not knowing where I am and having no friends. That is when you are forced to grow up quickly. Walking around, exploring new places, I found myself. After, I decided that education is my way out, an open door to new opportunities and a chance at happiness.

When you’re young, your family is your world and at the time, you forget how big the world really is. Obviously, there are people who made me feel as if they have sealed my fate, those who constantly poke holes in my tires to immobilize me; but they didn’t realize one thing. That one day, the ‘one day’ everyone mentions but never knows when it will come, that the one day, will come sooner than later, and I will end up on top of all the criticism, insults and damage. While I continue to strive for my childhood goal of happiness, I am majoring in fashion merchandising and management, which I decided because it is something that makes me happy.

The desire to be happy from such a young age, means I was aware that life isn’t suppose to be like this. At a young age, I decided that I am the only one who creates my future. When I was 6, I choose to work toward the life I deserve. It is what fuels me, while it disabled my brothers; it is what pushed me, when it trapped my mom.

What do you want to be when you grow up? Happy, free and independent, says the 6 year old me.