How my fear turned into my goal. by Madi

How my fear turned into my goal. by Madi - July 2015 Scholarship Essay

I sat fidgeting in front of my professors. They smiled at me. "What can the Communication department do for you?" I thought back to the first bad experience I had with public speaking. My youth pastor thought it would be a great idea to make us preach sermons in front of our peers. I thought it was a crappy idea, but I wouldn't say so out loud. He gave us months to write it out. I purposefully forgot about it, until the day of. When I walked up in front of my friends to preach the sermon, that I had written minutes before, I felt it. Shame. My voice and hands shook faster and faster because I didn't know how to communicate effectively. My thoughts weren't clear and concise. In fact, everything I said came out in a jumbled mess. The faces looking back me were kind but confused. Though they didn't know what I was saying verbally, my body language screamed NERVOUS. The confusion on their faces turned to pity. I cried a long hard cry.

Fast forward six months after the sermon. I presented a project in my science class about Alzheimer's disease. I hated the thought of having to speak in front of people again, so I put it out of my mind. The day before the project was due, I practiced in front of my parents. They gave me bits of advice on remaining calm, but my nerves spoke louder. Within the first five minutes of the presentation, my confidence shattered. My teacher asked questions that I wasn't prepared to answer. I tried my best to remain cool-headed but it happened again. The shame came back but with more tears this time.

"I've had bad experiences with public speaking, so I want to learn how to effectively communicate with others. Because you all have seen how nervous I get when I talk in class! " My professors laughed and shook their heads. Yes. They could help me. My goal isn't to get a degree as quickly as possible. My goal is to be stretched. I have the greatest opportunity! I get to grow and learn in the area that I am weakest from people who are strong.