Time by Madeline

Time by Madeline - November 2014 Scholarship Essay

Take time to take care of yourself.

Everyone has days when they can’t take it anymore, everyone has days when they look at an assignment and the words bleed into one another, and everyone has days when they can’t pull themselves out from under the covers in the morning. And you know what? It’s okay.

Step back for a moment. Take a deep breath. Let the air fill your lungs, one slow inhale at a time, and feel the molecules stir in your airways until your chest collapses. Press the snooze button on your alarm, and as you fall back asleep, remind yourself that your greatest gift is the ability to put your lipstick on in the car on the way to school.

If you can get up and pull yourself together after the second time, go for it. Brush your teeth, wash your hands with hot water, and take an extra minute deciding what to wear. Feel good about the way you look, even if you can’t feel good about anything else, because that’s all anyone has to see.

Forget your socks when you tie your laces, but don’t bother taking your shoes off and trying again. Put the pair you would’ve worn in the bottom of your backpack, and let yourself smile every time you open your bag. Let the polka dots remind you to laugh at how beautifully human you are, with or without cotton protecting your toes.

On the days when you can’t get up after that extra alarm, turn it off entirely. Sleep, sleep, sleep, until even the nightmares grow tired. Let your body wake up with the sun, and get out of bed the first time your eyes open of their own accord, but don’t look at the time yet. Brush your teeth, wash your hands with cold water, and press your cold fingers against your neck until you feel alive again. Put yourself together, eat a good breakfast, and now you can look at the time, accepting that what’s past is past and what’s missed is missed. Go to school, regardless of how late it is, because, I promise, someone is missing you and they deserve to see you today. When they ask you where you’ve been, tell them you’ve been somewhere safe, and keep the image of the sun streaming in your window on the insides of your eyelids for the rest of the day.

There will always be second and third and fourth chances on homework, there will be retakes on quizzes, and there will be extra credit on tests. Always know that no one can ever blame you for taking care of yourself. If you give 100% of yourself to everything you do and everyone you touch, I promise, you will not be penalized in the grand scheme of life for an extra hour spent in bed.

High school isn't just about grades and exams and numbers and letters. This is the time to develop your sense of introspection, through this, you’ll learn to know when you need to put the rest of the world on hold. But, more than that, you’ll know when to get out of bed and continue your day, and you’ll have a better appreciation for the beeps and the buzzes that wake you up in the morning and the whirls and hums that follow you to sleep. Sometimes taking care of yourself means taking it slow, and I promise you, it’s okay. Take the time that you need when you can so you can be at your best when you can’t.