You Aee Not Alone by Lindsay

You Aee Not Alone by Lindsay - June 2020 Scholarship Essay

“I can do it by myself.” My mom says this was one of the first sentences I learned to speak, and repeated over and over. What a mantra. It wasn’t until I was about 28 that I truly accepted, no, I can’t. I grew up in a socially rigid, emotionally unsupportive environment, not knowing about mental illness, psychology, or people unlike the ones I knew. Because of my anxiety, abuse, and social, gender, and sexual identities, I spent a majority of my life feeling lost, different, wrong, trapped. I was told to get “fixed” with therapy. I did eventually seek therapy, and supportive community, where I learned it’s not about “fixing”, but the transformative power of acceptance, trust, co-regulation, and open conversation about mental health.

In most spaces, mental health and identity are enshrouded by darkness, ignorance, stigma. Shame is embedded into our cultural existence. Many of us are taught independence, external self worth, caught up in the cycle trying to survive. We can do better than just survival. We’re meant to be interdependent; this is how we thrive. I chose social work because it incorporates the truth that, while we have individual strengths, no one exists in a vacuum. The ecosystems perspective shows us that our ability to thrive depends on how supportive our environment is. Identity and physical and mental health are intertwined. An abundance of evidence shows these connections, the social determinants of health, and how they can contribute to disparities. For marginalized and vulnerable populations, an obstacle course of barriers may exist between them and the care they need and want: low income, financial inflexibility, housing or food or transportation insecurity, language or cultural differences, lack of health education, not feeling safe, heard, or understood.

I’ve spent time working with LGBTQIA+ communities, minority ethnic communities, mental health support groups, homeless populations, and youth, and I see mental health awareness as something that should and can be interwoven with everything we do. I’m particularly passionate about gender, sexuality, and relationship expansive communities (including LGBTQIA+, gender nonconforming, and non-monogamy), trauma, foster and transitional age youth, and involving mental health care in any job, both with clients and colleagues. One career path I’m drawn to is managing an identity-affirming community program specializing in LGBTQIA+ populations. This might include culturally-sensitive infrastructure including gender-neutral bathrooms and gender-inclusive paperwork; trauma-informed counseling with clinicians trained in LGBT-affirmative therapy; support groups, social programming, and activities; education on life skills and relevant topics; a text and phone help line; a mentoring program; coaching services; provision of or referrals to affirmative healthcare providers, recovery programs, hair stylists, childcare, and other community resources; available trainings for outside organizations; and staff trained in culturally-sensitive practice. A social work degree will give me the clinical and theoretical background to most effectively support the mental health of my clients and staff, provide evidence-based practices, and provide education and training to build a robust and supportive ecosystem.

Mental health and illness left unchecked can lead down some dark paths: suicide, domestic and social violence, overdoses, addiction, incarceration, burnout, isolation. I’m struck by research like The Trevor Project’s 2019 National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health, reporting that “LGBTQ youth who report having at least one accepting adult were 40% less likely to report a suicide attempt in the past year”. Just one person. I want to be that person for as many people as I can, and help build a world where those people are easier to find.

Mental health care is lifesaving, just like surgery, CPR, and medication. To me, “lifesaving” doesn’t only mean “prevention of death”, and “healthcare” doesn’t just mean “taking care of sickness” or seeing a doctor. It also means helping a person’s life to be thriving, filled with support, and feelings of value and worth. It’s empowering people with education, resources, access, and a sense of agency, to be proactive in their health, not only responding to crises. It’s not just about what change we make in our field and our lives, but how we make it. Who are we ignoring, leaving behind, stepping over in our innovative efforts? Are we valuing efficiency and progress over human dignity? In every interaction we have with someone, we have choices: cast judgment and contribute to the toxic stress in their life, which can accumulate to make epigenetic changes towards negative health outcomes; or be kind and compassionate and show them that they are valuable simply because they exist, helping to build their resiliency.

The answers are not simple, many are systemic products, and not something one can solve alone. It starts with working together, unlearning shame, learning interdependence, learning to see a person’s humanity first. My work and my passion is to help save lives through ongoing investment and empowerment and togetherness. For me, one of the primary messages of social work is, “you are not alone, and you shouldn’t have to be”.