Discovering Myself by Krystal

Discovering Myself by Krystal - January 2020 Scholarship Essay

As a young girl living in a Mexican household, “coming out” is something my family didn’t expect from me. I was too afraid to tell anyone because I didn’t want to be seen or treated differently. My family always had something against the LGBTQ+ community. Coming out to my family was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life, but they accepted me. When I was ready to tell my family, they didn’t accept me at first, but now they’ve seen how being gay isn’t bad. Although coming out was a difficult thing for me to do, I don’t regret it.
Coming out helped me find myself. In ninth grade, there was this girl in particular that caught my eye, she was her own person and I loved her for that. We got to know each other, she asked to be my girlfriend and I said yes. After two months of dating, my mom found out I was gay, and she forced me to come out. I wasn’t ready to come out to her because of the things she and my family had said about the LGBTQ+ community. My mom threatened that if I didn’t tell her about me being gay, then she will tell my family. I told her that I have a girlfriend, she said, “I don’t want to know anything about her, I don’t even want to see her around you.” When she told me that, I broke down into tears because my girlfriend is a wonderful and great person. This was the hardest thing that I’ve ever done, but I’m glad that I got it over with.
Coming out boosted my confidence and now I can be myself. At first, my self-esteem was low, I would isolate myself from everyone. I had no one to talk to and if I did talk to someone they wouldn’t understand what I’ve been through. I didn’t even feel comfortable in my own home. It took awhile, but my family finally accepted me and I felt relieved that I didn’t have to live a life in secret. I started to be apart of the LGBTQ+ community, and I went Pride Parade for the first time this year. This was a great experience for me because I felt like I belonged, and I was able to share my story and relate to others about their own stories.
Coming out can drastically change someone’s life in a great way. You need to be who you are without being afraid of showing your true colors. Before I came out, I was closeted, now I have a good and healthy relationship with my partner, and I couldn’t care less about what people think about me. My grandparents and mom have been taught to not like people apart of the LGBTQ+ community, coming from a hispanic background. They didn’t know that I was gay at the time and I would always hear them say homophobic comments and that would bug me. Now I have a girlfriend of almost two years. She helped me a lot and I am so grateful to have her in my life. For a while, I would hide my girlfriend from my family and now she’s part of my family. At first things were awkward and now my family doesn’t stop talking about her.
I completed a chapter in my life that helped me find myself. All my life I was afraid of people finding out my secret, now the whole world knows and I couldn’t care less. I finally have the chance to be myself, without limitations. As an “outed” member from the LGBTQ+ community, I can say that coming out helped me because now I’m confident, independent, and courageous. After finding myself, I can love whoever I want without caring about what people think. I feel invincible after coming out to my family, I feel complete.