Finding myself through a soccer ball by Kerianne

Finding myself through a soccer ball by Kerianne - February 2017 Scholarship Essay

There is a time in all of our lives where we can not meet the standards that are placed before us. For most people, failure is not an option-I fall into that category. From a young age, I was always taught that winning does not come to everyone. Even my older sisters would make everything a competition (and win) so that I would learn about the hard times in life. So when the point in my life came that I had to accept my failure, it was very difficult.
The scene is my freshman year of high school- 2014. I had finally been able to join the varsity soccer team that my high school provided. Not a lot of people wanted to join, so there was not a junior varsity team. I was waiting for my turn to kick the ball at tryouts and I was so nervous. Palms sweaty, heart racing, I was the poster child for anxiety. I had seen the juniors and seniors taking their turns and standing, awe-filled, at how great I thought they were. The ball was rolling toward me and I kicked it as hard as I could- and I made the goal. I was so proud of myself for overcoming what I thought was the biggest obstacle of my existence.
Cut to a few weeks later and I had made the team. I wore my jersey and my new warm up pants to school, thinking I was the coolest kid. Time for the first game and again, I was scared beyond belief. I was not a starter because that was the role for the older girls who had been on the team. I was not mad about that- I was actually relieved. I was so afraid that I would let my parents and especially my team down if I had gone out there and not have gone above and beyond what they expected out of me. A few games had gone by and I was still just the same bright-eyed bench warmer. And then it happened. I heard a voice that sounded like my coaches say, "Kerianne. Go in forward position". I could not believe it. It was finally my time to shine-or to fail. I stood up, legs quivering as I took my position on the field. Everything seemed as if it was moving in slow motion. I could not believe the amazing opportunity that I was a part of now. The referee blew the whistle and it was game on.
For a while no one was really even acknowledging my existence on the team. which again- I was fine with. But then suddenly the ball was in front of my feet and I felt as if I was dried into cement. Not as inch of my foot would move. I was mortified. I did not know what to do. Finally one of my team mates took the ball and ran. I was so embarrassed and felt as if I had let everyone down. From that game on, I did everything in my power to not step foot on the field during a game.
Then one day my coach put me in again. I felt as if I was given a second chance- and I took it. I received the ball from my team mate and this time I kept on running. I could not let my team down again. I just had to push myself farther than I ever have before. I was running and running until I found an open player. I passed the ball and she scored. I had just made my first high school assist. I could not have been more happier. All my team mates and my coach and even parents who did not know me told me what a great game I played. I could not believe the obstacle I overcame. With just a little help from my team mates and a whole lot of confidence, I had made myself proud.
Flash forward to today- 2017. I am a senior at my high school and captain of my soccer team. I get the privilege to help girls who were just like me. I try my very best to show my trust and faith in my team. If there is a obstacle that my team has to face, I go forward into it head on. I try to encourage my team and I am so proud of everything they do. I could not be happier that I faced my fear of playing soccer.