The Importance of Self by Kellie

The Importance of Self by Kellie - November 2013 Scholarship Essay

The most valuable thing I learned in high school was that I had the freedom to make my own decisions. This is important to me because before I entered high school I felt as if control was something lacking in my life. I was adopted at a very young age and brought up in a very loving family, but because of the adoption and many other things in my life, I grew up having a hard time trusting people or being open with anyone. I was afraid to rely on others because they couldn’t always be there. Small things that shouldn’t have mattered in the long run affected me and changed my views on life. Because of this I had lost friends, distanced family, and lost out on many great opportunities. Thinking back, it was the uncontrollable that scared me the most, the uncertainty of life scared me and in some ways I am still healing.

Sometime, about a year ago, I finally began to understand that life is short and that there is no point in getting upset over small things. The idea that my life was my own and that I could be who I wanted to be finally made sense. I credit this to teachers that I had, who had me focused on “self” and what self was. They were always very open so I could always talk to them. Learning who I was and how I fit into the world may be the most valuable thing that I have every learned. Prior to this realization, I had been in a dark place, but that year it occurred to me that the world was a lot bigger than I had perceived it. This idea now, more than ever is extremely important to me.

Right now, I am a high school senior who is willing to throw themselves into the world, into the unknown. I am ready. Recently, I cut ties with people in my life that were holding me back, and for the first time in years I feel free. I throw myself full force into the unknown, knowing full well that I cannot control the world, yet I have choices. Education is my choice, learning is my choice and furthering the world is my choice. As I grow and improve as an individual I will use my past experiences to help me make choices that matter. It might seem unusual, but in my 17 years of life, this is the freest I have felt. I have the freedom to make my own decisions. And this will never change.