Failure by Kayo

Failure by Kayo - February 2017 Scholarship Essay

When I was a little girl, I wasn't scared of the thunderstorms, being in the dark, or even the "monsters" hiding under my bed. What I was scared most was my dad on Sunday mornings. Normally, he treated me as if I were little princess. He was shy, daring, generous, and a figure head that I look up to even now. But only on Sundays, his behavior changed 180 degrees.
On Sunday mornings, I would tell my dad a quick "Good morning!" and tried to avoid him. I was seriously praying that he forgot it was Sunday that it was the day to do Math together. I was terrible at math; maybe even beyond terrible. I was very behind on my grade level because I have made a choice to just sit there, to stare at the blank worksheet, or even to stare at my pencil as if I were staring at Vincent van Gogh's art. Once my grades started reflecting my behavior my dad suggested having tutoring sessions every Sunday. The normal Math tutorial sessions were held between my dad and me. He taught me that if you understood the concept, Math would become very easy.
Around ten a.m., he would say, "Kayo! It's 10! Let's start!" I would slowly go to the kitchen table, and I lethargically grabbed all my math worksheets out of my backpack. I knew that it wouldn't changed the fact we were going to do Math. We would start off great. I understood a problem when he worked on it and explained how the steps went, but when it was my turn to do a similar problem, I went blank. I forgot all the steps and just didn't know what to do. My dad would tell me, over and over again how to do it but it never stuck to my head Soon, he started yelling at me because he was repeating the same thing over and over again. I understood his frustration. Repeating the same thing ten times would also frustrate me. But I couldn't help myself from stop crying. Not only was I crying but also I was frustrated at myself.
After a lot of practicing and dedication, I have learned that Math isn't as hard as it seems. Fighting and crying and being frustrated has led me to realize what I wanted to be in the future. That is an elementary school math teacher. Currently, I am tutoring two students who not only need help in math, but also don't understand English at all. To be honest, I think tutoring them is the most challenging thing I have done in my high school life. But at the same time, I have learned how to better communicate with them. I have learned how to translate and to improve my skills in both English and Japanese skills. Before each lesson, I plan the way through how I could explain the lessons to where they could understand the concept thoroughly. After tutoring for a year, I decided to join a class called "Instructional Practices in Education and Training" at my high school so that I can gain more experiences in becoming a better teacher even at this age. I want to teach children how to solve math problems without feeling frustrated and of course without being yelled at and crying!