A Lonely Fifth Grader by Kaylee

A Lonely Fifth Grader by Kaylee - April 2021 Scholarship Essay

Everyone feels lonely at one point or another. And when a person does feel the drowning feeling of loneliness they will know the pain it causes. If I could give advice to myself five years ago I would tell her that she is not alone because I was really insecure and I did not realize the amount of people who cared about me.
Five years ago would mean I would have been in fifth grade. Despite how social and energetic I was I did not have very many friends. The ones that I did have though started to leave me out. You see I had two besties; they were Yalda and Abbie. We were a trio who talked about all the things best friends talk about. But here's the thing in fifth grade discussions and projects were always a two person job. So Yalda and Abbie would team up and I was left to fend for myself. I would be the odd kid who always had to do a project without their friends. This put me in the headspace that I didn’t have any friends and that people were just being nice to me because they had to. When in reality this was not true. If I could I would go to myself and squeeze me real tight and tell her you're not alone you have your family and teachers standing behind you too.
That is what I did not realize when I was younger. I did not realize how much people actually care about me. For example I knew my parents loved me but I did not feel that deep down. I could not see that when my dad and I would every night not be able to spell my spelling words and me and my mom fighting over my hair was just my parents caring about me. My dad wanted me to pass just one spelling test so bad that he spent his time and effort studying with me every night. My mom wanted my hair to look presentable so kids would not bully me like they did to her. If I could explain these things to myself five years ago it would have made a world of difference.
In conclusion, if I could give my past self advice five years ago I would tell her that she is not alone because that was a time when I was insecure and I did not realize the amount of people who cared about me. Everyone feels lonely sometimes, but when you realize all that you have around you life just feels a lot better.