Compassion's Potential by Katya

Compassion's Potential by Katya - November 2019 Scholarship Essay

In the wake of the STEM shooting in May of 2019, I came to a realization that permanently shifted my way of thinking and way of life. I vividly remember the treacherous hours of waiting, the two text messages I had sent to my best friend, Are you okay? and I love you laying open on my lap, awaiting a response for what felt like an eternity. Not only was I terrified of losing her, but even more so I was plagued by guilt. Guilt in knowing that I had rarely told her I loved her, that a text she may never receive could never atone for that fact, and that the person who meant more to me than anyone else in the world might be leaving it without any idea of their importance.
Thankfully, my best friend survived that fateful day. Nevertheless, that moment of doubt ingrained a critical lesson into my mind. Every breath is a blessing not to be taken for granted. I thought of the mornings my parents had dropped me off at school with a “Love you! Have a good day!” and I had muttered a “Yeah” back before slamming the car door and walking into the building. What if I hadn’t returned from school that day, and that’d been the last interaction we’d had? I recalled the nights I’d gone to bed angry, the weeks I’d refused to speak to my friends after we’d fought. What if that had been their last memory of me? I reflected on the times I had silently admired; silently appreciated; silently loved. Those people might never know. I might never have the chance to tell them.
It was with this realization I decided change was imperative. I could’ve been furious, screamed and protested about the fact that this was our country’s reality. But it wouldn’t have affected the root of the issue: the poor mental health of the perpetrators (in most cases students). This was my call to action. I promised myself from that day forward, I would live as if every moment was my last. I would tell people how much they meant to me and give them the compliments I was thinking. I would endeavor to avoid anger, to forgive and move on. But most of all, I would do everything I could to combat the negativity, loneliness, and poor mental health that afflicted my high school’s student body, and I would do so by spreading love.
My first step was running for spirit officer of the jazz choir. Spirit officers are responsible for outreach and inclusion within the choir. They effectively serve as a method of unification and team-building. I saw this as the perfect opportunity to begin making an impact and was elected after my speech to the choir at the end of May - a few short weeks after the shooting. I spent the summer making every member of the choir a personalized drawing with their name, and I was astounded by the reaction to them. Someone I’d never spoken to hugged me. Another student approached me after class with a thank you, telling of her tough week and how the gift had been what she’d needed to get through the day. Two terms later, and the drawings remained on display in the front of everyone’s choir binder. In witnessing this, the power of small acts of kindness really sunk in, and I decided to expand my efforts beyond the choir.
I made it my goal to be an aristocrat of goodwill and encouraged others to do the same. If I noticed someone who seemed isolated, I made an effort to reach out to them and make them feel included. I brought people gifts such as friendship bracelets, cookies, candy on Valentine’s Day, and cards that listed all the things I appreciated/admired about them. I tutored those who wanted help and fulfilled the role of therapist for anyone who needed a listener.
These actions may seem minuscule and insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but this is exactly why they’re so crucial. Very few individuals make the effort to reach out in such ways because they don’t feel like it will be impactful, which ironically magnifies the significance of even the smallest efforts. Kindness holds more power the rarer it becomes. Therefore, in a country where insulting people is a form of humor, depression is relatable, blatant mistreatment of others becomes a public performance, and school shootings aren’t uncommon, I believe love is the greatest weapon we have in our arsenal. Love doesn’t run out or have a deadline/completion date. It can be executed by anyone, at any time, on any scale with a positive impact almost guaranteed. This is why although I haven’t led any demonstrations or written any letters of protest to congressmen and women, I believe I have significantly impacted my high school’s student body and will continue to positively affect those around me.
It took potentially losing my best friend for me to recognize the importance of conveying to people how much they matter. The effect I’ve had on my high school through my aspirations to do just that has motivated me to continue with my commitment to kindness for years to come. In doing so, perhaps I am even capable of preventing what might have been another tragedy.