Finding Strength Through Failure. by Katelyn

Finding Strength Through Failure. by Katelyn - August 2014 Scholarship Essay

First semester freshman year is supposed to be easy. At least that’s the mindset I had walking into Dr. P’s class that first Tuesday morning. English class. I’d taken many English classes in my career as a student. Why should this one scare me? I quickly learned Dr. P was no normal teacher. As the author of the university’s writing rubric Dr. P. understood the urgency to be a good writer. Still I had no fear. Growing up in private school I wrote lots of essays, so what’s to fear?

Dr. P. gave us three grades the entire semester. One of those grades, and ultimately the only one that seemed to matter, was an essay. This essay could be on the topic of our choice. The goal was to rewrite the essay until we were satisfied with the grade we received. Our topic of choice became sleep. Still I felt no pressure. Dr. P. was nice and, as previously stated, I’ve written many essays before.

Next Dr. P. expanded on how the class would work. Each student would have a workshop date. On this day the student would have to bring in a finished copy of their paper to be judged by the class; graded by the class. A forty-five minute class discussion about how terrible an individual’s paper was and the author had to sit there silently. Suddenly, fear was instilled within me. How could he be so cruel? How could I sit and listen to comments like: “this makes absolutely no sense”, “what was she even thinking”, “a comma is needed here”, or even “let’s learn to use spell check people” and not say a word? How could I suffer through the harsh criticism without crying. Now, I thought I knew fear. I had one goal: do not cry!

When my workshop finally came, I had accomplished my goal. I didn’t shed one tear. I found it extremely beneficial to hear what others thought of a paper I had rewritten over and over again. However, grade-wise I still wasn’t at a place I wanted to be. That morning, I walked out of my workshop with a whopping D- as a grade. No satisfaction was had for accomplishing my goal. How could I celebrate? I couldn’t. This was not a win.

Eventually, I became tired of receiving bad grades and stopped writing. All along I thought I was a good writer. I’d received excellent grades my whole life. What had happened? The standards were raised. I began feeling as though I could not reach the bar, as it was set too high.

Then I got into a fight with someone close to me. They went to bed and I moped. Something I learned quite young was when things get rough: hit the books! The only way to change a bad situation is to enhance ones self. Become someone you weren’t; someone better. That night, I began writing. I fell in love with the topic of sleep once more. I became determined to receive a grade that made me feel accomplished.

Six essays later, on the same topic in which no two words could mimic a previous essay, I received a feeling of achievement. I had done it. It had taken a whole semester but I had brought my D- to a B+. I knew, with deserved confidence, that I developed into such a good writer. Through failure each and every one of my classmates and myself were all able to enhance our writing skills. Dr. P. pushed us to our breaking point to prove to us that through repetition and disappointment we could encounter greatness as long as we do not give up on ourselves. This is a lesson I will never forget.