A Very Slight Difference of Thinking by Ji Young

A Very Slight Difference of Thinking by Ji Young - November 2013 Scholarship Essay

My life is very special compared to the typical lives of other people, especially teenagers. Since I was in my mother’s womb, my father was a minister. Whenever my father had to move to another location, regardless of my own will, my family had move. Throughout my life up until now, I encountered many difficulties in different environments. However I ended up gaining and learning many valuable things unknowingly.

Moving from one place to another over seven times greatly impacted my life. Every time I was relocated to a new place, I had to face a new environment and meet new people. In 2005, my family was dispatched from South Korea to the United States. It was extremely tough for me to adjust in all aspects. Communicating with Americans was next to impossible, because trying to learn and understand English was too hard for me. Many times the students in my school would despise me, and look at me with harsh glares since I could not speak a word of English. I had no choice but to suffer in silence.
As time passed by, I reached an age to be able to think a little deeper about other people. Since I am a pastor’s daughter, I thought that the members in my church would judge my parents if I made the slightest mistake. I zealously worked to be kind, and showed respect to other people just because I did not want to give my parents a bad reputation.

Frustration: that was the one word to express my life at that time. At first, I started with a good heart of determination to be a nicer person, and to help my parents. I interpreted for my father when he gave sermons, even during the morning sermons that were at a time before the sun rose. I would come home from school to help scrub the church top to bottom, teach Sunday school students, or to do anything else that needed to be done. As I reached my limits of being able to be good, complaints started to arise. How come my friends could go out parting and have a good time, while I lived pitifully like this? I felt like my friends had so much more freedom in their lives than I did. Starting from that point, I envied my school classmates. From my perspective, they were living a happier life than I was. And when I realized that, I had endless complaints and distrust toward my parents.

On a certain day in my 10th grade English class, my teacher asked everyone to close their eyes and raise their hand if they thought they were wearing a mask. She explained that wearing a mask symbolizes that one is living a two-faced life. I secretly opened my eyes just a bit, and looked around at my classmates. To my surprise everyone was raising his or her hand except for me! I was so shocked! After that, some of the students opened up and talked about how much hardship they were going through in their lives.

After that situation, I began to look at my life closely. I was truly a happy person for having the parents that I have, and having close friends around me. I lacked of absolutely nothing because I was a person who was receiving love from so many people. All of the complaints and jealousy I had towards my friends was simply coming from my one-dimensional thoughts. In my shallow thoughts, I could not help but to only desire to have fun. However little by little, I was able to think more in depth. Now I know that I am truly blessed. I have parents who have the wisdom to guide me away from things that are not beneficial to me. Also, the difficult experiences I encountered in my life helped to strengthen my mind. With a strong mind one can be more mature, and think more in detail. When I was indulged in my own thoughts, I was incapable of seeing anything in a different point of view, but after a slight change of my thoughts, I am able to have an optimistic perception of my life.