Life is not about speed but direction by Ji Yoon

Life is not about speed but direction by Ji Yoon - February 2014 Scholarship Essay

“For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.” (Quote from “The curious case of Benjamin Button” by Scott. F. Fitzgerald)

I have a small table clock on my desk that doesn’t run. I took the batteries out for a reason. But this doesn’t mean that the clock stands still forever. Every year when my birthday returns, I move the minute hand forward by 18 minutes. Assuming that I will live until 80 years old, a year equals 18 minutes of a day. Two months ago, I turned 18, so I adjusted the time on the dusty table clock to read 5:24 am.

Before I made this special clock, I was myopic in my approach to life. I busily turned my attention to those nearest my nose. Rather than waiting patiently, like a chrysanthemum, to display the delicate autumn colors, I strived to blossom as a plum flower that shows off its charming scent in early spring. My life has always been driven by the need for efficiency and time control. And before I knew it, I forgot to think about the wider and grander visions in life.

This year, I had a chance to interview a retired teacher of my high school and write an autobiography for him. He was once a Judo national champion and had worked as a body guard for the previous Korean president, Park Jeong Hee. Even though he was nearing seventy, his two eyes glittered with vitality. Now volunteering as a school maintenance worker, he diligently walks around the campus as early as six. As I listened to his stories, it wasn’t just his accomplishments that moved me but rather his spirit. He paved his own path when others hesitated. He fueled his youthful energy into Judo and trained many disciples for thirty years. Even after his retirement, he continues to serve my school. Students often ignore Mr. Kang, mistaking him for a desperate man working to earn a few more pennies, but I know the truth. He has not defined himself through comparison to other people, but by his everyday actions and values.

As I put pieces of Mr. Kang’s life into writing, I understand that life is not about speed but direction. I am not sure who I am or what I want to do with life, but I now have the courage to face new challenges. Mr. Kang once told me, “If you don’t know where you’re going, just go.” I’m ready to knock on many doors, embracing my mistakes and harnessing the strength to start over. After all, my life clock is still pointing at the mist of dawn.