Amy Dunne: Defining New Relationship Standards by Jade

Amy Dunne: Defining New Relationship Standards by Jade - April 2014 Scholarship Essay

On the day of her fifth wedding anniversary, Amy Dunne went missing. Her husband Nick becomes a prime suspect in the investigation for several reasons, mainly because the media loves to take the “guilty husband” approach when it comes to a disappearing spouse. The novel is told first person, alternating between the perspectives of Nick and Amy. Nick’s perspective is told in the present, as we learn what is happening in the days following Amy’s disappearance. Amy’s perspective is told from the past through journal entries. Due to conflicting perceptions of their marriage, Nick and Amy’s points of view become a “he said/she said” that the reader must decipher. Although she’s a perfectionist, Amy’s journal entries make her seem like a genuinely optimistic person who’s easy to live with, while Nick seems aggressive and unfair to her. Nick’s story makes Amy seem anti-social and stubborn, never allowing Nick to reach her impossible demands. Gone Girl examines the nature of dishonesty and how people within a relationship lie to each other.

In addition to the reoccurring theme of dishonestly, Gone Girl likewise explores the notion, as mentioned by author Gillian Flynn, of marriages being “casually cruel”. Amy and Nick’s five year long marriage was extremely rocky and it seemed farfetched that a couple with so much resentment for one another could be married for that long. Though often dysfunctional, there is an addictive quality of the marriage which causes them to be drawn to each other despite their aggression and hostility. Nick is only himself when Amy’s a part of his life. He asks himself, “Who would I be without Amy to react to? Because she was right: As a man, I had been my most impressive when I loved her- and I was my best self when I hated her… I couldn’t return to an average life”. Nick and Amy’s dark addiction to each other makes their marriage, though dysfunctional, work in a twisted way. A passion exists between the two of them which brings out their most vivacious selves. Nick and Amy continue to lie to each other throughout the novel, but their dishonesty works for them as individuals. They thrive off of dishonesty and would be bored without each other and without the manipulation they incorporate into their marriage. Though this would be detrimental in any conventional marriage, playing mind games has kept Nick and Amy’s marriage alive for so long.

When asked about writing Gone Girl, Flynn said “Every marriage involves gamesmanship, little power-plays and squabbles. I just amplified it- a lot.” Even though Nick and Amy’s marriage is an extreme example, Flynn’s statement holds true. A lot of aspects of The Dunne’s marriage are present in conventional marriages on a more minor level. An element of marital manipulation is introduced on Amy’s end when she reveals she had altered her behaviors to fit the mold of what she thought Nick would want. She reflects back to when they first met and said, “That night at the Brooklyn party, I was playing the girl who was in style, the girl a man like Nick wants: the Cool Girl. Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl”. The notion of pretending to be something you’re not to impress someone you’re interested in is not solely specific to Amy’s situation. She observes that entering relationships with false pretenses is very common in the dating scene. She explains that “the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you’re not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn't want the Cool Girl”. Amy made me question the way women behave in relationships. In a sense, women put on an act when pursuing a date. There’s an overwhelming amount of dishonesty within relationships and it’s becoming more and more common to bend the truth with a significant other. Often we’ll take our desirable traits and blend them with traits we think our partner is looking for and as we become more comfortable in a relationship, we’ll let our guard down and allow our true colors to show. Always, a control freak and one step ahead of everyone, Amy was surprised to learn that Nick brought her happiness. She says, “He teased things out in me that I didn’t know existed: a lightness, a humor, an ease. It was as if he hollowed me out and filled me with feathers. He helped me be Cool Girl- I couldn’t have been Cool Girl with anyone else”. Amy knows her marriage is based on a series of lies but it doesn’t bother her. This character causes me to reflect on standards in a relationship and how our priorities are no longer honesty and loyalty.

In conclusion, Gillian Flynn’s underlying theme of dishonesty, specifically dishonesty within a relationship, shows how for better or for worse, many relationships are based on misconceptions about the other. Often times, we’ll alter our behavior to please our significant and become what we think they want- just like Amy became “Cool Girl” to impress Nick and so many women follow in Amy’s footsteps.