The Book I Will Write... by Jacob

The Book I Will Write... by Jacob - June 2014 Scholarship Essay

The question this essay is written to answer is “If you were to write a book, what would it be about and why?” My answer is simple, over coming obstacles. I experienced one such obstacle when I was seventeen that changed the course of my life. At seventeen, I became a father to a special needs child. This essay isn’t written to address the controversy in teen pregnancy, and it’s not written through the MTV Teen Mom™ perspective…it’s written to illustrate real life circumstances that are incredibly challenging and the three principles I incorporated to overcome them in my life.

I was a stereotypical teenager and I was well liked by fellow students and teachers. I played Varsity football and enjoyed spending time with my friends. However, in January 2003 I was told that I was going to become a father and that the mother was already eight months pregnant. There were changes to talk about, upset parents and too many adult emotions for a teenage boy to handle properly. The situation seemed dire but soon increased in complexity when doctors informed me that my son could have significant developmental delays. At this point, I felt there were two outcomes to our future: we could become stereotypical products of teen pregnancy with little prospects or I could find a way to persevere, plan and achieve in ways that would allow for the life I wanted for us. My choice would become the first principle of overcoming obstacles—“Acknowledge Circumstances and Rearrange Priorities”

I acknowledged my circumstances, I was having a special needs child that I was not prepared to support emotionally or financially. The only thing I could do was to rearrange my priorities to better match my situation. In the coming days, I approached my work about increasing my hours and inquired about advancement opportunities. I changed my focus to a local college instead of my original choices and I worked harder at school and for the pending ACT in an effort to pick up more scholarships Next, I approached my father, who I lived with, if my son would be a welcome guest and thankfully he was there to support us with a place to live. Once my work, academic and living plans were set up I moved on prioritizing my financial situation. I compiled diaper, formula and other costs and then built a budget around covering those costs.

After my son was born and the expected chromosome disorder was confirmed, it became time for the second principal—“Follow Through with Your Priorities”. Once my son was born the real challenges began, I learned quickly that perseverance and patience were necessary to achieve my priorities. It seemed like daily there were financial,scheduling and emotional conflicts. Looking back it’s hard to remember all the thoughts, feelings and struggles that came with every day as they all presented challenges. Getting through those days would have been impossible if I lost my confidence in my ability to reach my priority goals. It took me recognizing my inner-strength and acknowledging how “giving-up” whenever a conflict arose or things got emotionally draining could have dire consequences for not just myself but my son. I believe this is true with any obstacle facing someone—you have to believe your inner strength will allow you to persevere and overcome the obstacle confronting you—though not necessarily easily.

The next principle has been the driving force in my life for last few years and it has rendered some great results so far and it’s “Continue to Improve your situation.” This summarizes the outlook that allowed me to grow and reset and my priorities once they were achieved. Once life was somewhat settled and I progressed from knowing I wasn’t ready to have a child to recognizing that I was actually a good father I wanted to work on longer-term goals. I spent time reflecting on my strengths and what separated me as an individual. I created a list of life opportunities and applied what I saw as my strengths to those areas in an attempt to achieve growth. Professionally, I drew from what I had gone through personally and applied that perseverance to build a career path for myself. Personally, I attempted to surround myself with others that were confident and displayed inner strength; both areas took a lot of practice and patience but soon enough I was seeing substantial growth. I began to receive promotions and even met a phenomenal women who I fell in love with and married. Our family consists of my son, her son (from a prior relationship) and our two year old daughter.

Today, I have a career path that has payed great dividends already and should continue to in the future. I have a family with a beautiful, witty and loving wife that serves as a mother to our three amazing children. My life today wasn’t necessarily “in the cards” back when my life got turned upside down when I was 17 but it came to fruition because I “Recognized my circumstance and rearranged my priorities” then I “Followed Through with my Priorities” and lastly “Continued to Improve my Situation.” It is my hope that after reading this essay, you would agree that this book has purpose in our society today and can have a positive impact on those that would read it.